Chicks With Dicks

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: General8 Comments

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We like to think that we are pretty broadminded here at Jammy Toast. There is not much which will shock us and I guess there is nothing much we have not seen before, if we are being honest. That was true until last night, while we were channel flipping to find something to watch, when we came across something which totally took our attention. There on screen was quite an attractive young Asian lady without many clothes on and in plain sight were her breasts. Again this is nothing we haven’t seen before and, needless to say, it caught our attention and we sat spellbound by this beauty from Thailand. Then, as the camera moved down, there it was in all its glory – A PENIS!

Local History #4

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Local Stuff12 Comments


Many people know of Birkenhead’s history. How it started out with some Monks, grew into a large metropolitan borough and had one of the largest shipbuilders in the world. It is also famous for being the other side of the ferry journey across the Mersey. What many people are not aware of is that it once had a thriving cattle trade. Developing countries like North America had large areas of land ideal for rearing sheep and cattle back in the days of the cowboys. In reality, they had more animals than they could ever use, and so sent huge quantities to the growing industrial towns of Britain on fast steamships and many of these animals came to Birkenhead where they were sold to farmers or sent to the local slaughterhouses.

Jammy Toast Survey

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Jammy Toast15 Comments

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Today we would like to ask everyone to take part in a little survey for us. We would like to know what your favourite bit of Jammy Toast is and which the bit you are not so keen on is. Do you just like our general posts or do you look forward each month to a certain bear’s column? Do you prefer Jammy Toast to post news stories concerning bears or do you prefer the observational humour we see around from day to day. Do you like our opinion on current affairs or do you like hearing about our friends and heroes? We want to know just what it is that brings you back to Jammy Toast day after day.

Bear Music #34

Posted by Flat Eric on
Category: Music9 Comments


There is nothing more we love here at Jammy Toast than listening to some of our favourite tunes. From time to time we will post a music video from an artist or genre that we think will be enjoyable to you; our friends. We often feature music that you may not have come across before, or music that maybe you just missed the first time around. Try and listen with an open mind, you never know, you may find something you can add to your iPod. If you have any music videos you would like us to feature then drop us a line – we are always happy to listen to requests but we cannot promise to feature everyone’s favourite…

Buy Fuck-all Day

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: General12 Comments

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Here at Jammy Toast we are all for people getting bargains along with their shopping. Furthermore, as most of you will be aware, yesterday was Black Friday – the day when retailers sell stock at greatly reduced prices for people who want to buy Christmas items early. This trend started in America and has now become an international shopping phenomenon with people the world over putting pressure on retailers to sell at reduced prices.  However, Black Friday’s massive popularity has a darker side to it. The vast volume of shoppers has led to chaotic scenes and outbreaks of violence. The last few years has seen stampedes and shootings plaguing the day. In fact, in America, Black Friday has resulted in four deaths and 56 injuries in the past five years.

Talking Shit #28

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Open Day/Talking Shit19 Comments


Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!

Lost Teddy Set To Work In The Laundry

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Bears7 Comments

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As we all know, here at Jammy Toast, teddy bears can be quite adventurous and have even been known to wander off from time to time. Unfortunately, this has proven catastrophic for one teddy bear who has gone off on his own for a walk and got lost. Although he may not have travelled as far as Paddington did from Peru, he has still ended up a long way from home. The teddy bear was in hospital with his owner when he decided to do a little investigating and unfortunately ended up at Abertawe Bro Morgannwg Health Board’s laundry department in Llansamlet, Swansea.

Tony Hancock Remembered With Blue Plaque

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Film & Television9 Comments


Everyone here at Jammy Toast was pleased to hear this week that Tony Hancock has been remembered by an English Heritage Blue Plaque outside his former London home. It has been placed outside 20 Queen’s Gate Place, Kensington where he and his wife Cicely Romanis lived. The Birmingham-born star of Hancock’s Half Hour first made his name on radio before transferring to TV. He was a huge comedy star of the 1950s and ‘60s and is remembered fondly by fans for his comedy infamous sketch; The Blood Donor. Unfortunately, after a lengthy battle with alcoholism and difficulties in his personal life he killed himself in June 1968.

Eddie Visits Cuba

Posted by Eddie Bear on
Category: Holidays/Events11 Comments

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Eddie samples some of the local "produce"”!

Hello everybody, I don’t often get the chance to write for Jammy Toast because I don’t live there I live with The Chimpton who is rather forgetful. The Bearkeeper asks her to remind me to write something for Jammy Toast but she forgets. So I only write here very infrequently, in fact, there is a chance you may not know who I am so I think it is only fair that I introduce myself. My name is Eddie and I was the very first Renault Bear to be saved. When I say “saved” I actually mean stolen because I used to live with a guy called Tony who let me go on holiday with Mr Bearkeeper and The Chimpton. I became quite attached to The Chimpton and when we returned to England it appears the feeling was mutual because she then refused to return me and has held me captive at Chimpton Towers ever since. Luckily, Tony has long forgiven The Chimpton for this theft of myself and even admits that I am better off being looked after by a Chimpton than by Tony who can sometimes be a little… naughty!

Scary Shit

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: General13 Comments

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The Ebola Virus at 108,000 Times Magnification

Iwent to the doctors this morning to collect a prescription when I noticed everyone there was sniffing, coughing or looking red around the eyes. I realised it was the time of the year for flu to be endemic – especially amongst old people. As I was waiting to collect my prescription I suddenly remembered the film “Outbreak”. It is a film starring Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman and tells the story of a fictitious virus with a mortality rate of a hundred percent. The virus becomes known as the Motaba virus, after the place in Zaire where it was discovered. I slowly started edging away from people coughing and spluttering.