There’s Been A Murder!

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Film & Television, Literature28 Comments

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James Camb

There’s been a murder – said in my best Jim Taggart impression… or should that be, “There’s bin a murdah”? I should explain. It was the early hours of this morning when I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. There is nothing worse than trying to get to sleep and failing, so to take my mind off sleep, I turned the television on quietly so as not to disturb any of the sleeping bears. The BBC News Channel was telling the story of a murder case from 70 years ago aboard the cruise ship Durban Castle. Fresh evidence was casting doubt on the original conviction of a deck steward for the ghastly deed. The victim was a young actress thought to have been murdered on-board the ship but may actually have died from natural causes, it is now being claimed.

Talking Shit #97

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Shit / Open Night35 Comments

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Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!

Stupid Scammers

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Science/Technology/Internet29 Comments

Tags: ,

The email read, “We have looked at your website closely and we feel we can help you double the sales made by your visitors.” Well if you had looked a bit closer you stupid person, you would have noticed we don’t actually sell anything. So I guess they are correct; zero multiplied by two is still zero. Mission accomplished. Then there is Kiley Muszynski who offers to tell us how to become billionaires more or less overnight using a method described in Forbes magazine. Surely Kiley, if you did have the secret of making a few bob you would have done so yourself and would no longer be using a free Gmail account for your little scams?

Lestly In The Hizzouse #6

Posted by Lestly on
Category: Lester's Column36 Comments

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Ihaven’t written anything on Jammy Toast for a little while. No, let me re-phrase that. I have not had anything posted on Jammy Toast for a little while because I keep getting rejection letters from Sir Davidd. So I thought I would have one last try to write something relevant for inclusion on Jammy Toast and try and piss Sir Davidd off at the same time. I have known Davidd now for some years and during that time we have had many long hard conversations about computers and most things IT related. I used to work for Microsoft so it was easy to fit in with Davidd’s Windows/PC outlook on life. I used to think everything made by Apple was crap and that was the end of it.

Paddington Bear #19

Posted by Michael Bond CBE on
Category: Paddington Bear28 Comments

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Paddington Bear is famous the world over, having been translated into 30 different languages and sold more than 30 million books worldwide. This current batch of stories are taken from his third book; “Paddington Helps Out” which was first published in 1960. It was written by Michael Bond and illustrated by Peggy Fortnum. The polite immigrant bear from darkest Peru, with his old hat, battered suitcase, duffle coat and love of marmalade sandwiches has become a classic character from English literature. Here at Jammy Toast, we are pleased to bring you some more of the tales which have made Paddington Famous the world over

Holdd Yaa Plumms

Posted by Andreaa on
Category: Comedy29 Comments

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IWozz Puree Talkkin To Davidd Daa Ovva Nitee Whnn I Askdd Hmm Iff Hee Ustaa Holdd Hiss Plumms Onn Sundees .. Davidd Saidd Hee Ustaa Luvv Holdinn Hss Plumms Evryy Sundayy && I Wozz Lykk “Samee” !! Itt Wozz Daa Funniestt Fingg Evaa Whnn Billyy && Wallyy Madee Yaa Holdd Yaa Plumms Off A Sundayy .. Inn Casee Yaa Dntt Knoo Waa Itt Wozz ,, Itt Wozz A Gamme Onn Daa Radioo Wherr Yaa Hdd 2 Answerr A Questionn && Iff Yaa Gott Itt Rytee Yaa Wentt Threww Too Daa Nxxt Rndd Wherr Yaa Spunn Daa Fruitt Machinne Too See Wott Yaa Wonn .. Yaa Hadd Too Gett Likee 3 Orangess Orr 3 Cherriess Too Winn .. Daa Topp Prizee Doo Wozz 3 Plumms .. Dee Hadd Nudgess Too Jsst Lykk Onn A Reall Fruitt Machinne Soo Iff Yaa Gott Twoo Plumms Yaa Saidd “Holdd Yaa Plumms” Thnn Yaa Nudgess Daa Otherr Fruitt .. Daa Funiestt Fingg Thoo Wozz Dee Werr All Thickk Soo Whnn Billy Askdd Daa Questionss Dee Nevaa Kneww Daa Answerr Soo Dee Ustaa Shoutt Owtt “Gizza A Cluee ,, Billy!!”

Bear Music #73

Posted by Flat Eric on
Category: Music30 Comments

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There is nothing we love more here at Jammy Toast than listening to some of our favourite tunes. From time to time we will post a music video from an artist or genre that we think will be enjoyable to you; our friends. We often feature music that you may not have come across before, or music that maybe you just missed the first time around. Try and listen with an open mind, you never know, you may find something you can add to your iPod. If you have any music videos you would like us to feature then drop us a line – we are always happy to listen to requests but we cannot promise to feature everyone’s favourite