The Angry Andreaa Show #9

Posted by Andreaa on
Category: The Angry Andreaa Show21 Comments

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Sum1 Askdd Mee Daa Ovaa Dayy Whyy Doo Scouserss Hatee Daa Mancss && Manccs Hateee Uss ?? Mee Dadd Sayss Dee Shuddnt Bomb Russiaaa Dee Shudd Nukee Manchesterr Lykk .. && Hee Saidd A Mancc Wozz Oncee Puree Happii && Wntt Inn Daa Dole Officee && Says Ivv Cumm Too Signn Off Daa Dole Nww Lykk Becozz Aa Jstt Been Offerdd Aa Bloww Jobb !! Hahaha Mee Dadd Puree Hatess Mancss Yernoo Butt Hee Doessnt REalli ,, Itts Jsst Lykk Bantaa ..

My Name Is Chimpton And I Am An Alcoholic

Posted by Dr Davidd OBE DASc on
Category: Food & Drink28 Comments

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Chimpton, never happier than when she has a drink in her hand!

This week seems to be the week for confessions and so I think it is time to get the big one out of the way. We have told of past lies to you, our loyal Toasters, and I have also made a few confessions about things we have said here on Jammy Toast in the past. Now, after some of the nonsensical comments Chimpton has left about her bald Dad needing a hair-cut, it is becoming more and more obvious that she has a drink problem. To be fair to Chimpton she has always been open and above-board about her stoner habits – she could even put Jay & Silent Bob to shame – but has always been in denial about her drinking. Now is time for a confessional.

Telly Favourites #16

Posted by Erik Bear on
Category: Telly Favourites39 Comments

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Today we are continuing our series of posts on our favourite telly shows of the past. As you all know, the bears love their telly and there is nothing they love more than finding a character they can love to love… or even love to hate. The bears don’t usually go for the clean-cut, heroic types they are more likely to identify with the slackers of society, people like Frank Gallagher, Jim Royle or Homer Simpson. They like programmes which are “off the wall” although occasionally they will enjoy serious drama if it is interesting and well written. Today, we are featuring

Confessions Of A Bearkeeper

Posted by Dr Davidd OBE DASc on
Category: Friends & Relatives26 Comments

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Dr Davidd OBE DASc & The Real Slim Shady Chimpton.

On Saturday I told you all that we had lied about the identity of my Vietnamese born daughter and that she was really the girl in the pictures. Well – as most of you did in fact realise, judging by the comments we received – I did in fact lie! There is no way I would have paid £2.50 for the girl in Saturday’s pictures. In fact, they would have had to pay me a great deal more to cart “her” away. When I say “her” I am revealing another lie because the girl in the pictures isn’t even the same girl, but two different girls. However, both girls featured in Saturday’s story – and this is the scary bit – are both the same age as Chimpton. Actually they were both in her class at school.

Bear Music #77

Posted by Flat Eric on
Category: Music36 Comments

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There is nothing we love more here at Jammy Toast than listening to some of our favourite tunes. From time to time we will post a music video from an artist or genre that we think will be enjoyable to you; our friends. We often feature music that you may not have come across before, or music that maybe you just missed the first time around. Try and listen with an open mind, you never know, you may find something you can add to your iPod. If you have any music videos you would like us to feature then drop us a line – we are always happy to listen to requests but we cannot promise to feature everyone’s favourite

Holdd Yaa Plumms #4

Posted by Andreaa on
Category: Comedy16 Comments

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Hiyaa Itss 12 o’clokk && Tymme 4 Holdd Yaa Plumms .. Inn Casee Yaa Forgott Diss Iss Daa Quizzz 4 Thickk Peeplee Whoo Havvntt Gott A Cluee .. Itt Ustaa Bee Onn Daa Radioo && Yaa Hdd 2 Answerr A Questionn Daa Billyy && Wallyy Askdd Yaa .. Iff Yaa Gott Itt Rytee Yaa Wentt Threww Too Daa Nxxt Rndd Wherr Yaa Spunn Daa Fruitt Machinne Too See Wott Yaa Wonn .. Yaa Hadd Too Gett Likee 3 Orangess Orr 3 Cherriess Too Winn .. Daa Topp Prizee Doo Wozz 3 Plumms .. Dee Hadd Nudgess Too Jsst Lykk Onn A Reall Fruitt Machinne Soo Iff Yaa Gott Twoo Plumms Yaa Saidd “Holdd Yaa Plumms” Thnn Yaa Nudgess Daa Otherr Fruitt .. Daa Funiestt Fingg Thoo Wozz Dee Werr All Fickk Soo Whnn Billy Askdd Daa Questionss Dee Nevaa Kneww Daa Answerr Soo Dee Ustaa Shoutt Owtt “Gizza A Cluee ,, Billy!!”

Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up

Posted by Dr Davidd OBE DASc on
Category: Jammy Toast24 Comments

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Chimpton in her new wrap-around skirt!

May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We’re going to have a problem here. ‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady. All you other Slim Shady’s are just imitating… so the song goes. Well here at Jammy Toast we don’t lie to our loyal Toasters or imitate anybody. After all you are our friends and friends just don’t lie or deceive each other but today we have to hold our hands up and admit… we have lied, we have deceived and we have imitated.