What Did Jesus Really Look Like?

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Religion27 Comments

Tags:

Yesterday was Jesus’ Birthday. We all know what Jesus looked like, don’t we? He was the dude with the long hair and a beard who is probably the most painted person ever to have lived – if you believe that he did actually live. He always wore a long robe with long sleeves (mostly white) and a mantle (often blue). Jesus is so familiar to us that people often see his likeness in pieces of toast or pancakes. It is now known that this familiar image of Jesus actually comes from the Byzantine era, from the 4th Century onwards, and Byzantine representations of Jesus were symbolic – they were all about meaning, not historical accuracy. So did he really look like this? The answer is probably not!

Keeping The Jammy Toast Christmas Tradition

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Film & Television81 Comments

Tags: ,

It has become a little bit of a Christmas tradition here at Jammy Toast that each year we like to watch The Snowman. Every year we like to sit down and enjoy the story by Raymond Briggs. To us, it is the highlight of Christmas Day and so it would appear it is to others also as the film was voted 4th in UKTV Gold’s Greatest TV Christmas Moments. The Snowman is based on the children’s book by author Raymond Briggs, which was first published in 1978. In 1982, the book was turned into a 26-minute-long animated movie by Dianne Jackson for Channel 4. It was first shown late on Christmas Eve in 1982 and proved an immediate success for the then fledgling channel. The film was nominated for the Academy Award for Animated Short Film in 1982.

Our Granny At Christmas

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Grannyisms33 Comments

Tags: , , ,

Itold everyone the other week that we wouldn’t be able to post a Granny story this month because she has been on her best behaviour. She has not been committing any Grannyisms, either that or she has been using stealth methods to hide her mishaps. That has all changed in the last couple of days so we are now in a position to post a special Granny at Christmas story for you all. It is worth mentioning though, that Granny tried to keep these two mishaps from Jammy Toast but couldn’t and then has used threatening behaviour towards us if we “snitch”.

The Jammy Toast Christmas Song 2018

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Music32 Comments

Tags: , ,

Every Christmas we usually choose our favourite Christmas song for your delectation (good word). It is usually a close run race between Gary Jules’ Mad World and Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Power Of Love. One year we chose The Progues’ Fairytale of New York as our favourite Christmas song and indeed for many years it was. However, that song has been done to death at Christmas and kind of outlived its usefulness. Last year they made one of those clever camera trickery things where Elvis Presley sings Blue Christmas with Martina McBride. Everything on the video looks so real until you count on your fingers and realise that Martina was only about ten years old when Elvis died. Brilliant video though go and watch it.

Talking Shit #134

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Open Day/Talking Shit21 Comments

Tags:

Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!

Rudolph Is A Liar

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Animals/Bears/Pets29 Comments

Tags: , ,

Jammy Toast is in black and white with some red touches along the way. As many of you will be aware, this is because traditionally Renault Bears could only see in black and white but because our bears eat so much jammy toast their sight has developed so they can also detect the colour red. Now scientists from Exeter University have concluded that reindeers are also colour-blind and are unable to see red, orange or green. This puts to shame Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s claims that he was bullied by other reindeer for having a red, shiny nose. There are other lies that the scientists have also uncovered…

Steiff Bears Sell For £10,400 After Being X-Rayed

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Teddy Bears24 Comments

Tags: , ,

Apair of Steiff teddy bears which had to be X-rayed by a vet to check their rarity have been sold for £10,400. The rod-jointed toys named the Roosevelt Bears had been owned by one family since 1904, but “not played with much”. Auctioneers in Gloucestershire had to X-ray them to check their rare joints. The bears were sold with an original copy of Seymour Eaton’s storybook, the Roosevelt Bears, from where they got their names. Auctioneers Dominic Winter said rod bears were rare and having a well-preserved pair at auction was “an exceptional occurrence”.

Davidd’s Doodles #3

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Davidd's Doodles22 Comments

Tags: ,

During some recent maintenance work on Jammy Toast, I discovered an old post called Davidd’s Doodles. It was from way back in 2011 but I had no memory of ever posting it or why I called it Davidd’s Doodles – although I can imagine it was so I could just waffle away about anything I choose. However, I never posted another one and seeing as everyone else around here has a column named after them, then I don’t see why I shouldn’t doodle away too. So Davidd’s Doodles will appear every now and again and allow me the chance to just pass on information, waffle away to my heart’s content (don’t I anyway?) or undertake any other task I so desire. Read on

Talking Shit #133

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Open Day/Talking Shit25 Comments

Tags:

Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!

Weather Report #16

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Weather25 Comments

Tags:

With the winter nearly upon us we thought it was time we brought back an old favourite here on Jammy Toast. With the colder weather now upon us we feel it is important we give you an accurate weather report. Providing this service can help you to plan your days out – would you need a raincoat or umbrella or would you be fine in just a t-shirt? As with everything else we do, we do it differently from other news and weather sites and we employ famous celebrities to tell you the weather in our own very special way. With this in mind, we have employed some of our favourite celebrities to impart the latest climatic conditions…