Davidd Honoured By Liverpool University

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Davidd doing his best Professor pose!

Our very own Davidd has been awarded an honorary doctorate by Liverpool University. Davidd Bearkeeper OBE is to be honoured for his rescue work with Renault Bears. The Bearkeeper said after yesterday’s announcement, “What a thrill, whoever would have thought it.” Davidd is to be presented with the Honorary Doctor of Animal Science (DASc) in “acknowledgement of his work in rescuing and rehabilitating bears and for educating people on bear matters.” Davidd had a question following the announcement: “Now I’m a doctor, can I write my own prescriptions?”

Jammy Toast Makes Front Page News

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Some of you may have noticed from yesterday’s post that Davidd was awarded an OBE *cough* in the New Year’s Honours list. Well, we are not normally readers of the Daily Star but this morning when we went for our regular newspaper we couldn’t believe our eyes. There gazing back at us from the Star’s front page was our very own Davidd Bearkeeper OBE. He has only gone and made front page news – and not for the reasons we would have originally thought. We were astonished. So-much-so that we thought we would reproduce it for you here…

Davidd Gets OBE For Services To Bears

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Our very own Davidd Bearkeeper has been awarded an OBE in the Queen’s New Year’s Honours List. He has been recognised for his services to animals – namely bears. The Birkenvegas born keeper has been helping preserve Renault Bears since he was given Eddie Bear to take on holiday to Egypt in 2006. He later entrusted Eddie to his daughter, Chimpton, who looks after the little bear to this day. Davidd has since gone on to rescue nearly three hundred Renault Bears and has founded the Jammy Toast Retirement Home for elderly and unwanted bears.

Jammy Toast Laid Low

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For the last couple of days Jammy Toast has been laid low by a mystery bug. Everyone was off their Jammy Toast and no one wanted to eat for twenty-four hours. We have no idea where it came from but we are over it now so must assume it was one of those mystery twenty-four hour bugs. All of us are now back on our feet and demanding more Vera because during the last couple of days we have all been lying under duvets watching Vera on Sky Box Sets. We have fallen in love with the old battle-axe detective. She has seen us through our hours of need.

Jammy Toast Update

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While everyone has hopefully been enjoying their Easter Bank Holiday, Edward has been hard at work restoring all the old Posts featuring Miss Chimpton, Ananasty and Davidd. Some of the stories are quite amusing and also show just how naughty the terrible trio used to be. The restored posts cover the period from June 2006 through to December 2006 featuring some wonderful stories. Who can forget the Story of Mick, Princess Natalie and the Lighthouse, Antony Cadillac, The Romance between Miss Chimpton and Speedo Trunks Man. Who can forget the day Lisa dared to step out of the house in her Jarmies with a hangover or Chimpton in her Flasher coat?

Happy Birthday, Chimpton

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Today we would like to wish Miss Chimpton a happy 48th Birthday. Some say she looks a lot younger than this but that is only because she has spent that long lying about her age that she has managed to turn the clock back on herself. She reached the ripe old age of 39 a few years ago and decided to hold on that age for a few years. The funny thing is, she has lied about her age for so long that she now believes that she is much younger.

Bill Gates Is Richest Man Again

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Jammy Toast friend (lend us a few quid, Bill) and Microsoft founder Bill Gates has regained the top spot as the world’s richest man, according to Forbes magazine’s annual ranking of global billionaires. Mr Gates’ total net worth was estimated at £45.5bn. His rise in wealth knocked Mexican telecoms tycoon Carlos Slim off the top spot into second place. In total, there were a record 1,645 billionaires, according to Forbes. Bill has been top of the list for 15 of the last 20 years, according to Forbes.