Ihaven’t written anything on Jammy Toast for a little while. No, let me re-phrase that. I have not had anything posted on Jammy Toast for a little while because I keep getting rejection letters from Sir Davidd. So I thought I would have one last try to write something relevant for inclusion on Jammy Toast and try and piss Sir Davidd off at the same time. I have known Davidd now for some years and during that time we have had many long hard conversations about computers and most things IT related. I used to work for Microsoft so it was easy to fit in with Davidd’s Windows/PC outlook on life. I used to think everything made by Apple was crap and that was the end of it.
Hello again to all the Jammy Toasters. As you may remember, a couple of Hizzouses ago I was censored. Mr Davidd Bearkeeper OBE and The Chimpton refused to publish one of my posts. I can understand their reasoning though, because I wrote about what I had been doing over Christmas which, as they pointed out, didn’t really have much to do with Jammy Toast or Teddy Bears – I had left my teddy bear at home while I was away, so it was a little off subject. So this month, to stick to the rules, I shall tell you a story about two fictional characters who were in love. There is a teddy bear collector in the story but, of course, he is fictional and “bears” no relationship to actual bearkeepers living or dead. Everyone else is fictional too. In fact, no one in this story is real!
Hello again Jammy Toasters. The more observant amongst you might just notice that this post is entitled “Lestly In The Hizzouse #4” whilst the last one was “Lestly In The Hizzouse #2”. Before you ask, yes I can count, but unfortunately “Lestly In The Hizzouse #3” was not up to standard and Mr Bearkeeper refused to post it – no doubt in consultation with Chimpton. I wouldn’t mind but I wasn’t even being “horrit” towards her, either. So, in revenge, I thought I would come and tell all you Toasters just how embarrassing Mr Bearkeeper can be. These are true stories told to me by Chimpton, so hopefully we will get her into trouble. Let me know if you like these tomes because I do have many, many more.
Hello again Jammy Toasters. I have returned again this month to spill more beans on my friendship with Miss Chimpton and this month, I thought I would tell you the story of the infamous Rubber Tree Plant. I consider this to be the high point of my friendship with Miss “C” and can I add that I was not hurt by what she said. I think she feels guilty for coming out with what she did but, in fact, it is probably one of the funniest things anyone has ever said to me. Also, before we all accuse her of being nasty, it is worth mentioning that she was – at the time – higher than either Jay or Silent Bob have ever been.
Hello to all the regular Jammy Toasters, I feel like I know you all already but you may not know me. So the first thing I would like to do is introduce myself to you all. I am an old friend of Davidd and his bears and, as some of you may have noticed from the venom that passes back and forth, I am also an acquaintance of Miss Chimpton’s. Now Miss “C” doesn’t always like me very much because I have what she calls a “Wonky Donkey” and maintains that if we ever meet she would walk the other way pretending that she didn’t know me. There are a few other problems Miss “C” has with me but this is mostly to do with the fact I need a haircut, my glasses are old and I am getting fat because my exercise routine is getting rather lax.