Laugh, we nearly shat. We have not laughed so much since Grandma died, or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle. So goes the Derek and Clive song. However, yesterday this was a better description of us watching Theresa May’s keynote speech to the Tory Party conference. It could probably not have gone much worse as she was interrupted by comedian Lee Miller as she tried to set out her vision for the “British dream”. First, she was handed a P45 by the comedian Simon Brodkin – who plays the character Lee Nelson – and told her it was from Boris Johnson, the Foreign Secretary.
Granny was annoyed the other day to discover that her mobile phone bill had risen from £13 per month to nearly £17, with no notice what-so-ever. Although, if truth be told, just why Granny has a mobile phone is beyond me because it never leaves the house. Many a time, I will ring her and get no answer and she later tells me that she was out. “Where the hell was your phone?” I ask innocently, only to be told it was sitting on the kitchen table – it’s normal home. I am sure it would prove so much cheaper to just use the house phone!
We were sitting around the breakfast table this morning, eating our Jammy Toast, when Razzi got up and headed for the front door. Razzi always hears the postman before anyone else so there was no surprise when he returned with an envelope in his hand. Straight away we knew it was something exciting because it was from the BBC. I opened the envelope and inside – to everyone’s surprise – was a letter from noted wildlife film maker Gordon Buchanan. Even more surprises were to follow because Gordon only wants to come and make a wildlife documentary called The Renault Bears of Jammy Toast. We were gobsmacked!
Today we are continuing our series of posts where we share some of our favourite comedians and comedy routines with you. We love comedy here at Jammy Toast, be it from old masters or young pretenders. People like Peter Kay, Jeff Dunham, Sacha Baron Cohen, John Bishop and Jerry Sadowitz amongst the newer comedians with Ken Dodd, Mickey Finn, Morecombe and Wise and Eddie Flannigan amongst the older funny men. From time to time we will share some of our favourite comedians and today we thought we would keep the ball rolling with…
There is nothing more we love here at Jammy Toast than listening to some of our favourite tunes. From time to time we will post a music video from an artist or genre that we think will be enjoyable to you; our friends. We often feature music that you may not have come across before, or music that maybe you just missed the first time around. Try and listen with an open mind, you never know, you may find something you can add to your iPod. If you have any music videos you would like us to feature then drop us a line – we are always happy to listen to requests but we cannot promise to feature everyone’s favourite…
Today we are starting a brand new, highly exciting feature which I feel must go down as one of the most exhilarating pieces we have ever written here on Jammy Toast. Today, for the first time ever, I feel we had just better warn anyone who has a heart condition, or who is easily excitable, to just take this slowly and do not read/view this post all at once. Over-excitement could result if you consume this little post too quickly – I would also recommend sitting down. Now, as many of you know, Razzi and I teach people to drive around the Wirral and one of the draw-backs to this is when we need an emergency wee-wee. Public Toilets around the Wirral a very few and far between. So today, we are starting a new feature where we will introduce you to the wonderful toiletry arrangements offered by the Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council.
Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!