Well tonight has been rather eventful not only did dad loose 5lbs (now only 1.5lb away from 4 stone readers) but we met a few odd characters tonight. Dad also has a new friend. Anne walks over and says ‘Dave meet Dave’. Oh my God she only brought over the dimmest looking guy you have ever seen. He made some stupid comment and opened his jaw at how much weight Dad had lost, so we have nicknamed him and dad ‘Dumb and Dumber’. Their new best friends of course! He kept making eyes at Dad and rolling them in his head. I guess it goes with the name that you have to be a dink to be named DAVE.
Hello everyone. Well not everyone this is just for my son, who I would like to apologise to. I have been sending txt messages to the WRONG number because yes like a dink I deleted your number in anger and I would now like to publicly apologise to you. To make matters worse, your GRANDPA gave me THE WRONG number and god knows who has been getting the I LOVE YOU txts. So I would just like to tell you I love you and I am sorry.
Hello royal readers. Now I know you’ll be wondering why the title is who’s the freak, but what I want you all to do is write in the comments who you think is a freak out of the Royal family and why you think they are, I will make a tally and the one who is the freak gets a tin of plummed tomatoes over the head (I will take a picture of it for you!). The one with the least votes will get something nice, so come on GETTING VOTING (clue: it’s NOT me) hahahaha.
Hello everyone. The time finally came, yes the Queen got the chop. She sat still for almost no time at all and they cut, they chopped and they layered our dear Queen. Of course I’m talking about her hair! The Queen who is accustomed to the finer things in life attended the hair spa today and had a scalp massage, a treatment cut and blow dry. She wanted the layered look so that she doesn’t have to bother with the fuss of messing with long hair. I don’t know what you think but I do believe my little sis looks a lot older than her years with the help of her new layered mop.
Well Meffs, you have all no-doubt heard of the famous Chimpton Jarmies, well here they are. The Tigger Jarmies with matching odd socks! This is how a Chimpton spends her life curled up in her bed. I come home from work and put on a t-shirt and jogging bottoms to be comfy, some of you may do similar but this is what a Chimpton becomes once the door of her flat is closed.
Hello everyone. Me and dad argue all the time. He says I’m a short arse and I say I’m not, I’m just the right height for a small person. Now look at the picture, I told you I would find someone I was bigger than — even if it is only a mouse! I am not quite sure why the Queen is standing like she has just had an accident in her trackie but anyway…