Razzi Writes #26

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In December 2015, Davidd told us the tale of The Great Teddy Bear Shipwreck Mystery. The story goes that back in 1903 some three-thousand teddy bears were sent by ship from Steiff’s factory in Germany to America only for them to disappear. The bears were made and packed up for shipment, but there is no record of them ever reaching their destination and none of the US-bound bears has ever been found. The templates, patterns and even photos of the bears exist but not even one sample was kept. One popular explanation is that there was a shipwreck and the bears had a watery end. All that is certain is that if just one of these bears turned up today it would be ‘open chequebook’ time for museums and collectors. After all, these were the first teddy bears ever made.

Razzi Writes #25

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Our friend Lexi has been complaining that I haven’t written anything for a while, so I thought I better get writing. I never usually write about any one thing in my column and just waffle away about many different subjects – so why change now. Well this month Granny has been surpassing herself with her behaviour, so I thought I would cover this. In truth, I think Granny is trying to monopolise Jammy Toast. Davidd tries to write about subjects, at most, once a month. However, Granny has already had two stories so far this month and I am just about to relay another. This is because our Granny is barking mad!

Razzi Writes #24

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The other day, Davidd announced that Jammy Toast will be featuring a new series of posts concerning animal cruelty. It was originally Egginanoo’s idea to feature the Show Your Soft Side campaign, but when people complained about the lack of male hunks on Jammy Toast, it was decided to make it a regular feature instead of a one-off story. As Davidd told us on Saturday, it all started over the case of the Baltimore kittens who were set alight. This followed the cases of Daffodil, Caroline, Pokey, Palmer, Benny, Mireille and Elisa, all cats in a rescue program that had suffered injuries consistent with burns.

Razzi Writes #23

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As everyone who reads Jammy Toast already knows, Elvis Presley is alive and well and leaves comments on our posts every so often. However, this week sees the fortieth anniversary of his death and so the national press is full of conspiracy theory stories asking did Elvis really leave the building in 1977. Ever since his death there have been dozens of theories about his lack of demise and rumours he simply went into hiding. Our friend Elvis doesn’t want people to know that he is still around but unfortunately the conspiracy theories refuse to die.

Razzi Writes #22

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If there is one thing I hate, it is spammers. They block up the internet with the boring drivel; with one estimate suggesting that 75% of all email is spam – scary stuff. Just how much time and money is lost checking spam must be frightening. However, one thing that is much scarier than ordinary spam is when people try and spam bears. Believe it or not, Jammy Toast gets spammed all the time offering us deals and ways to get rich quickly. However, the one thing that makes me laugh the loudest is what I call improvement spam. I call it that because these spammers email us saying they have read our blog carefully and they know how they can help us to make more money from our blog and sell more merchandise. If they had read it that carefully, they would have realised we are not a business and neither do we sell anything!

Razzi Writes #21

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Last night Davidd allowed us all to stay up late and watch Radiohead at Glastonbury. It was indeed late because they didn’t start their coverage until 10pm so it was going to be getting on for 1am before they finished. We are all great fans of Radiohead here at Jammy Toast and it has to be said they did not disappoint any of us. Captivating, inspiring and achingly stunning – Radiohead delivered a typically Radioheadesq sort of set for the festival’s opening night.

Razzi Writes #20

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For a Teddy Bear I have a very healthy interest in human girlies – some may say a little too healthy. I have often been referred to as a playboy playbear. I am too young to settle down and like to play the field when it comes to girlies. So, some would say I am an expert in the human form. However, I was reading an article the other day about a girl who thinks she is ugly and I can only say there is nothing further from the truth than what she is thinking. Her name is Alanah and she suffers from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a condition that causes people to become obsessed with perceived defects in their appearance.