Hello everyone, Razzi here and I would like to thank my friend Andreaa for spilling the beans on someone who I thought was a very good friend of mine; Cher. Although I have not seen her for nearly a year – because she is in America – I have been loyal to our friendship and have not been seeing anyone else while she has been away. Now Andreaa tells me that Cher is six months pregnant with her first baby. She swore to me when she married that hairdresser guy that it was just for the publicity to help her career because there is still a stigma attached to being in a relationship with someone outside your species – namely, a bear.
Hello everyone, Razzi here and I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas time and enjoyed yourselves with everything you did. Here at Jammy Toast we have had a great time except that Granny decided we didn’t need a full turkey because they are so big that we usually throw much of it away after Christmas. We like to have the turkey for Christmas dinner, maybe a few butties thrown in later in the day and then Davidd will make a Special Fried Rice on Boxing Day and this year Auntie Diane wasn’t coming until today and she asked Granny to save her some because she wasn’t having turkey at her house. So all that turkey required and Granny decided she would only get a turkey crown. Then, when she opened it, it was about the size of Jon Pigeon’s chest cavity.
In December 2015, Davidd told us the tale of The Great Teddy Bear Shipwreck Mystery. The story goes that back in 1903 some three-thousand teddy bears were sent by ship from Steiff’s factory in Germany to America only for them to disappear. The bears were made and packed up for shipment, but there is no record of them ever reaching their destination and none of the US-bound bears has ever been found. The templates, patterns and even photos of the bears exist but not even one sample was kept. One popular explanation is that there was a shipwreck and the bears had a watery end. All that is certain is that if just one of these bears turned up today it would be ‘open chequebook’ time for museums and collectors. After all, these were the first teddy bears ever made.
Our friend Lexi has been complaining that I haven’t written anything for a while, so I thought I better get writing. I never usually write about any one thing in my column and just waffle away about many different subjects – so why change now. Well this month Granny has been surpassing herself with her behaviour, so I thought I would cover this. In truth, I think Granny is trying to monopolise Jammy Toast. Davidd tries to write about subjects, at most, once a month. However, Granny has already had two stories so far this month and I am just about to relay another. This is because our Granny is barking mad!
The other day, Davidd announced that Jammy Toast will be featuring a new series of posts concerning animal cruelty. It was originally Egginanoo’s idea to feature the Show Your Soft Side campaign, but when people complained about the lack of male hunks on Jammy Toast, it was decided to make it a regular feature instead of a one-off story. As Davidd told us on Saturday, it all started over the case of the Baltimore kittens who were set alight. This followed the cases of Daffodil, Caroline, Pokey, Palmer, Benny, Mireille and Elisa, all cats in a rescue program that had suffered injuries consistent with burns.
As everyone who reads Jammy Toast already knows, Elvis Presley is alive and well and leaves comments on our posts every so often. However, this week sees the fortieth anniversary of his death and so the national press is full of conspiracy theory stories asking did Elvis really leave the building in 1977. Ever since his death there have been dozens of theories about his lack of demise and rumours he simply went into hiding. Our friend Elvis doesn’t want people to know that he is still around but unfortunately the conspiracy theories refuse to die.
If there is one thing I hate, it is spammers. They block up the internet with the boring drivel; with one estimate suggesting that 75% of all email is spam – scary stuff. Just how much time and money is lost checking spam must be frightening. However, one thing that is much scarier than ordinary spam is when people try and spam bears. Believe it or not, Jammy Toast gets spammed all the time offering us deals and ways to get rich quickly. However, the one thing that makes me laugh the loudest is what I call improvement spam. I call it that because these spammers email us saying they have read our blog carefully and they know how they can help us to make more money from our blog and sell more merchandise. If they had read it that carefully, they would have realised we are not a business and neither do we sell anything!