Great Auntie Joyce

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Those of you who have been following Jammy Toast for any length of time will know quite a few of the family by now. There is Granny, The Chimpton, Da, Mumsie, Diane and Pauline to name but a few. However, there is one person who I don’t think we have ever mentioned and that is Great Auntie Joyce – Granny’s ugly sister. We always say that Granny is ugly but Great Auntie Joyce leaves Granny standing in the looks department. If any of you remember the old telly programme “On The Buses” you might remember Olive – Great Auntie Joyce is the spit of Olive.

Rogue Seagull Rips Man’s Testicle Off

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It appears our friend, Steven Seagull, has been in the papers again and this time it is not for stealing ice cream from children. Our rogue seagull friend has only gone and ripped off a man’s right testicle as he sunbathed naked in his back garden, it has been reported in the Suffolk Gazette. Experts believe the fearsome gull mistook the man’s exposed privates for a couple of bird’s eggs and dropped in for a tasty snack. As the man – who has not been named – dozed on his patio in his detached home near Ipswich, the seagull swooped from the sky, and with one bite of its beak ripped away the right testicle.

One Missing Friend

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Most Sunday’s I take my daughter for her weekly shopping as she doesn’t have a car – I am sure you have seen the film The Cannonball Run, well this is more like The Carrot Juice Run. More importantly, it is our chance to have a little weekly catch up. We usually get the shopping out of the way and then we head to KFC for a Krushem and a chat. This week we started reminiscing about days gone by when we suddenly hit on the subject of lost friends and in particularly our old friend Tony, aka Yummy.

The Chimpton’s Fat Bum

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Alittle while ago, Razzi told us the story of Alanah, a girl who suffers from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) – a condition that causes people to become obsessed with perceived defects in their appearance. In our eyes, Alanah is a rather pretty young lady. However, when Alanah looks in a mirror all she sees are her perceived defects. Alanah thinks her eyes are crossed, her hands and arms are big and chunky, her nose is crooked and out of proportion with the rest of her face. Here at Jammy Toast we have someone with a similar disorder – The Chimpton thinks she has a fat arse!

Found Friend

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Yesterday we told you the story of Amethyst, the girl who used to be a friend of ours but who had disappeared many years back. Then The Chimpton left a comment stating that we have recently found a friend who we haven’t spoken to in quite a while. He lives in New York and so it was easy to lose contact with him. However, he has now started working in London and decided to look us up again. The guy’s name was Lester and like most Americans he has a Donald Trump flair in hair styles – as you can see from the picture above.

Lost Friend

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As most of you will know, Edward has been restoring old posts over on the Classic Toast website. I happened to be looking at what he was restoring when I noticed the picture of the girl above. Suddenly I thought, I have not seen that person in around ten years. I started looking at other pictures and there were indeed many more people I have not seen in years. Old friends who used to come and chat to us on MSN and leave comments on our old blog. In over ten years many of these people have gone astray and we have lost touch with them.

Famous Visitors #3

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From time to time here at Jammy Toast, we have some famous people come and visit and leave the odd comment on our posts. We seem to be very popular with celebrities and – coincidently – they always seem to be celebrities we have a particular fondness for. Famous Visitors, is a collection of posts explaining who these celebrities are and, where we can, telling how they came to discover Jammy Toast and the nature of the comments they leave behind. Today, we are featuring, the one and only…