Back in September I told you of the day when Granny left her car outside Sainsbury’s while she went into the store to do some shopping. Nothing wrong with that except Granny not only left the keys in the car but she also left the engine running while she spent her normal hour or two gossiping and catching up on the latest coming and goings at Sainsbury’s.
There is an old saying about how you cannot teach an old dog new tricks but today Granny and I disproved that. While running round doing some last minute Christmas chores we passed a KFC and Granny asked did they do breakfasts. I thought at the time it was a bit of a daft question because who wants chicken for breakfast but because it is the season of joy [sic], I decided to let it go.
From time to time items disappear from the kitchen. Regular readers will know that Granny hates to use her bin, as rubbish makes it dirty, so she bags up her rubbish and deposits it down in the council bins near the local shops. Hence, if things disappear we assume that she has scooped them up in the bags of rubbish and deposited them in the public bins.
Granny always seems to get things mixed up. Everything you say gets turned around inside that head of hers and comes out as something completely different. She was just sitting there watching one of her favourite daytime telly programmes, Loose Woman, when I noticed that the host Andrea was sporting one of those wide eyebrows from Desperate Scousewives. You know the one – where it is really wide towards the centre of the head and then narrows as it gets to the sides. On Desperate Scousewives they call it a “Scousebrow”.
Granny just caught me writing the previous post and was not impressed that I was putting it on the blog. She glared at me and was trying to think of a way to say that I was terrible for embarrassing her. You know, the way you might say to someone; “You don’t have a decent bone in your body”. However, what came out of her mouth was…
Ijust walked into the kitchen while Granny was loading some clothes into the washing machine. Granny was taking ages doing this so I was watching her when suddenly I realised why it was taking such an age. Granny was taking each item of clothing and turning it inside out. As I was asking why I thought to myself well maybe it stops bobbles from forming on the washing because any zips or buttons that rub against fabric will only happen to the inside of a jumper etc. Maybe Granny thinks that it will help prevent fading delicate items – who knows how her mind works?
Granny likes to try and look her best when she leaves the house; she is definitely not one of those people who pop round to the supermarket in her pyjamas and curlers. The only problem with this is that as she advances in years it takes her longer and longer to make herself presentable. So Granny was looking for some help in the makeup department and decided she would invest in some anti-wrinkle cream.
Granny likes to have things ready in advance of time so tends to do her shopping when she has the time around her busy day-time schedule of Murder She Wrote and old repeats of Columbo. This week she had some time on Thursday morning and so went to Tesco to do the weekend shopping. While she was there she decided to pick up a chicken for Sunday’s roast din-dins and came home and placed it into the fridge.
We all know how Granny has had a few problems with keys and remembering where she left them in the past, however yesterday she totally surpassed all previous Grannyisms. She left the house early for a little shopping spree in Sainsbury’s. She parked her car in the car-park and headed towards the entrance, shopping list in hand. She got her trolley and proceeded to search the store for the items she was after. So far, so good.