The Elves Living Beneath The Rocks

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Gobbledygook9 Comments

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Each day at Jammy Toast one of us writes a post for the entertainment of our friends and readers or to pass on helpful information. The subject matter of that article usually has some kind of twist in it which is either in connection with teddy bears, wild bears or is amusing and/or weird. So when we heard that construction on a road being built in Iceland had been stopped, we had to confess it was of no interest to anyone here at Jammy Toast. However, when we heard that the construction had been stopped because it was disturbing elves who live in its path then our ears pricked up. We had to find out more about this so as Erik is the only one who has a warm hat to keep him warm, we decided to send him off to Iceland as our roaming reporter to investigate…

Rubber Duck Racing

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Gobbledygook23 Comments

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The governor of Wisconsin is due to pass a new law which will legalise rubber duck racing in the American state because up until now it has been banned. For most people, the only place they will have seen small rubber ducks will be in their bathtubs. Others may even have seen the giant version of a rubber duck which was made by Dutch artist Florentjin Hofman and has been touring the world since 2007. However, in some parts of the world, rubber duck racing is a popular pastime.

Attack With A Buttered Weapon

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Gobbledygook15 Comments

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Iswear on everything holy in this world, and even on some of the bear’s lives, that we have not made this up. A wife is in court accused of assaulting her husband – nothing unusual there you may think – but she is accused of attacking him with a piece of (wait for it…) Toast! Now I can hear you all groaning and accusations of us making this up will be flying thick and fast but it is true. A court heard Julie Evans at first poured water over her husband James after he had fallen asleep on the sofa instead of doing the chores as he had been asked by his wife.

He’s Got An “L” Of A Cheek

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Gobbledygook26 Comments

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We admire the police here at Jammy Toast. They have a difficult job to do and on the whole they do that job well. Unfortunately, due to the financial predicament we find ourselves in, there are not enough of them and resources are stretched to the limit. So, in a nutshell, we do not waste their time and only call upon them in true emergencies. It all makes common sense, or at least it would do if it were not for idiots like we have heard about today. A learner drive called the police because… his instructor turned up a couple of minutes late!

Razzi To Be Jailed?

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Gobbledygook13 Comments

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Amechanic was jailed for three years yesterday for using Facebook to try to start riots last summer. Mitchell Stancombe posted on the social networking site; “When are we going to start the Southampton riots then?” Despite the fact that he maintains it was all a joke, and his post did not lead to any violence, the judge told him he was being jailed as a deterrent “to demonstrate this type of conduct will not be tolerated by the courts”. Razzi now thinks he might be jailed for his comments during the rioting.

Is This Anger Management?

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: From Old Jammy Toast, Gobbledygook22 Comments

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There is nothing we like more in the morning than sitting round the breakfast table reading the newspaper. You can read all about the troubles in the world and some light-hearted stories that lift the spirits on a cold, winter morning. However, sometimes we are sure they make them up but, then again, maybe some of the stories are so far-fetched nobody could make them up.

World Record Skinny Dipping Attempt

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: From Old Jammy Toast, Gobbledygook22 Comments

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Early this morning myself and The Bears all climbed out of our beds and thought it was slightly chilly as we searched around for something to wear – or more to the point I found something to wear. We came down stairs and put the telly on to watch the news and hear what had been going on in the world. The story that really caught our eye was the story of the World Skinny Dipping Record attempt down in Wales.

We Did Not Make This Up!

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: From Old Jammy Toast, Gobbledygook63 Comments

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Sometimes we laugh at the state of some of the laws in this country. As an example, did you know if your workplace or college/school runs a sweepstake for the Grand National then it is probably illegal and against this country’s gambling laws. In Manchester there is a law banning dog owners from using long leads. America is no better, in New Hampshire it is illegal to tap your foot, nod your head or in any way move in time to music in a tavern, restaurant or café.  My personal favourite is from Greene, New York, where it is illegal to walk backwards while eating peanuts.

Spinny Head

Posted by TJ Chimpton on
Category: From Queen's Blog, Gobbledygook, Ramblings3 Comments

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Today my head is a little fuzzy. I slept crap lastnight, I couldn’t stop my head from racing. I read a friends blog and it has played like a 12inch on repeat in my head — thanks Spanks. I have thought constantly about my life and what I have in it. Maybe I should just stop thinking my life away, but jez its hard. I don’t know what I want, but I know at the moment its not that good, I’m not wanting a pretty woman scenario, but I think my life is lacking a little romance. Hey come on, we all want a little romance once in a while — no laughing.