Afew years ago, we decided to take ourselves off on a little winter holiday to Cyprus. The island is advertised as the “all-year round island” because it attracts the sun all year round. Don’t believe a word of it, although it is t-shirt weather most of the time, the evenings are freezing and the sea and swimming pools are equivalent to Antarctica – I swear I saw a penguin in our swimming pool. However, we really couldn’t complain. We booked to stay in the Club St George which is a self-catering complex next to the St George Hotel. At the last minute they decided to close the club for refurbishment and so we got a free upgrade to an all-inclusive holiday at the 5-star hotel.
Mena Suvari tweeted a picture yesterday of her standing in front of a board displaying the logo for Sirius XM. She also included the news that she is going to be working with an old friend of hers on the radio station. This news and the picture brought memories flooding back of when we were on Holiday in Florida and we discovered Satellite Radio. This was back in the noughties and Satellite Radio was a new thing at the time. It meant that from the car we were driving around Florida we could listen to more or less any radio station in the USA. We tuned into Sirius XM which we immediately christened Redneck Radio. This was a spoof radio station from the Deep South pretending to feature real hillbilly rednecks – Chimpton and I thought it was hilarious, Ex-Wife did not!
We always laugh at the antics of Granny here on Jammy Toast. She makes us laugh with her forgetfulness and her “who gives a feck” attitude to life; whenever she just opens her mouth and lets the diatribe flow. Her mother, my Grandmother, was exactly the same and Auntie Diane, Granny’s daughter, is quickly following in her footsteps. My Grandfather and I seem to have missed out on this particular family trait. So much so that we always used to joke that it only shows itself in the female gene in this family. So what about Chimpton?
Iseem to be getting very nostalgic lately and remembering things from my childhood. One of my favourite memories was my very first foreign holiday. Back in the day, I used to accompany my grandparents on holidays to exotic places like, Bournemouth, Poole, Llandudno and – for the most part – the weather was always despicable. I remember one year we went on holiday somewhere and it rained every single day we were away. Because we stayed in Bed & Breakfasts, we had to leave the place during the day – not that there was anything to do their even if we hadn’t – and, I think for the week we were there we had one afternoon when the weather was good enough for us to venture outside the confines of the car.
Last week we told of some of our holiday adventures where we had “accidentally” ended up on nudist beaches. I have put the word “accidentally” in quotes because a number of people have doubted that it was an accident. We have been accused of deliberately setting out to Perv at people with no clothes on – as if we would do that. So I thought I would come along today and put these people straight. While it is true that we have seen some very attractive people sunbathing topless on beaches around the world. The vast majority of people we have seen sunbathing naked on nudist beaches are a different matter altogether. Most of these people are either elderly, fat, ugly or burnt to a crisp. Before The Chimpton says anything, I include myself in all those categories.
On Thursday I posted a Classic Toast post telling the story of my first visit to Yorkshire with Razzi. Later on The Chimpton and I were laughing about my adventures in the land of the early to bed when she reminded me of a rather remarkable day in Spain. We were on holiday in Portugal when we awoke to a rather miserable day. It was cloudy and rather chilly but over in the distance we could see the sun was out in Spain. So we got our passports, jumped into the car and started heading towards Spain.
Iwas reading the newspaper today when I came across the news that Paris is opening a nudist park. In a semi-secluded clearing near a bird reserve in the Bois de Vincennes Park, will be their very first permanent park dedicated to nudism. The article stated that nudists have long been demanding to have their own green spot in the French capital. More than 400 naturist beaches and camp sites exist in France, where more than 2.5 million people practice nudism but this is the first permanent nudist park.
The other day my Dad told you the story of our holiday to Portugal, so I thought I would tell you the story of our holiday to the Dominican Republic – or at least, part of it. The particular day in question my Dad had gone out on an excursion on a yacht and, as I don’t do travelling on water too well, I had stayed behind on a very hot day sipping drinks around the pool. Now before long the heat was beginning to get the better of me and, although I don’t like cold water, I just had to have a little dip in the swimming pool. Who could blame me, the weather was absolutely baking!
Just lately I have been reading through many old posts to decide which ones to include in our Old Toast feature. Suddenly it hit me – we never did tell the story of our adventure in Portugal here on Jammy Toast. Now the main thing about Miss Chimpton is on the outside she is quite an outgoing individual but on the inside she is actually quite shy. She is quite often very outgoing when it comes to the male of the species also, but that is usually when she has Daddy or someone else backing her up. When she is alone or thinks someone has serious intensions towards her, she freezes and she gets rather embarrassed of the attention.
Hello everybody, I don’t often get the chance to write for Jammy Toast because I don’t live there I live with The Chimpton who is rather forgetful. The Bearkeeper asks her to remind me to write something for Jammy Toast but she forgets. So I only write here very infrequently, in fact, there is a chance you may not know who I am so I think it is only fair that I introduce myself. My name is Eddie and I was the very first Renault Bear to be saved. When I say “saved” I actually mean stolen because I used to live with a guy called Tony who let me go on holiday with Mr Bearkeeper and The Chimpton. I became quite attached to The Chimpton and when we returned to England it appears the feeling was mutual because she then refused to return me and has held me captive at Chimpton Towers ever since. Luckily, Tony has long forgiven The Chimpton for this theft of myself and even admits that I am better off being looked after by a Chimpton than by Tony who can sometimes be a little… naughty!