You may have noticed from time to time that some very famous people visit Jammy Toast and leave comments on our posts. These celebrities are many and varied including, amongst others, God, Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour, Garfield the Cat, Stars of Monsters Inc. Sully & Mike Wazowski, The Cookie Monster, Meerkats Alexsandr Orlov & Sergei, Film Star Ted, Catfish stars Nev and Max, Authors Dr Seuss & Michael Bond, Santa Claus, Queen Elizabeth II, HRH Prince Charles, Members of the Royle Family, Rico & Larry the Cat, Bob Dylan, Jay & Silent Bob, Terry Tibbs, The Ghost of Elvis, Hawkwind’s Dave Brook, Sheriff Buford T Justice, Paisley from Tattoo Fixers, Former Prime Minister David Cameron, Comedienne Aisling Bea, Star of Ray Donovan Kerris Dorsey, Sigmund Freud, Alf Garnett, Cher Lloyd, Paddington Bear, Steven Seagull and Jon Pigeon. You may have wondered if these people were actually visiting Jammy Toast or was someone just making the whole thing up.
We were sitting around the breakfast table this morning, eating our Jammy Toast, when Razzi got up and headed for the front door. Razzi always hears the postman before anyone else so there was no surprise when he returned with an envelope in his hand. Straight away we knew it was something exciting because it was from the BBC. I opened the envelope and inside – to everyone’s surprise – was a letter from noted wildlife film maker Gordon Buchanan. Even more surprises were to follow because Gordon only wants to come and make a wildlife documentary called The Renault Bears of Jammy Toast. We were gobsmacked!
Today we would like to wish New Jammy Toast a very happy second birthday. Two years ago today, at 6pm, we published our first post on the brand new site. We decided to move from the old site because we got fed up with all the rain and wind and storms of England and decided to move to our very own tropical desert island. On our island the sun always shone and the temperature was always at least into the thirties – sometimes even the forties. We ate our Jammy Toast on the beach disturbed only by the sound of the waves hitting the beach and the distant cry of the gulls – much to The Chimpton’s annoyance. Once a week a boat arrived with supplies on-board for the coming week, including plenty of sun-cream to stop us from looking like a frequenter of nudist beaches. Needless to say Razzi says the sun-cream is only for wimps and insists that the knotted-hankie on his head is enough to keep the sun at bay – he learnt well from the Master. The days were relaxed and the evenings spent in the tranquillity of the balmy heat remaining from the day. Then the alarm-clock went off and we were back in Birkenhead…
Jammy Toast was reeling last night after allegations that some of our celebrity visitors are fake. Just because some of our readers are celebrity A-Listers does not mean we are making them up or fabricating comments in any way. In fact, we put these accusations to Razzi’s friend Mena Suvari and she said that there is nothing she enjoys more than reading Jammy Toast but she did go on to say, “I just wish Razzi was featured more than he is, because he is a very handsome bear.” Others have suggested that Elvis Presley could not possibly have left a comment because he is dead. Jammy Toast has confessed – following an investigation – it was not Elvis leaving the comments but it was his ghost.
We always thought that Jammy Toast and the whole WordPress blogging platform – which Jammy Toast runs on – was pretty easy to use. You just read the posts, leave a comment, if you desire, and that was all she wrote. However, we hadn’t allowed for The Chimpton who finds the whole concept of replying to a comment just too much for her tiny pea-head to comprehend. With this in mind we thought we had better come up with a Jammy Toast for Dummies. I am sure you have seen the books in the shops where they try and explain to the mentally retarded how simple things work and hope that they pick it up. So here is the Special Chimpton Edition of Jammy Toast for Dummies…
Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a great bank holiday weekend and apologies to Flat Eric for stealing his Sunday slot but I have some great news to depart – or at least I think it is great. For some time now, we have been struggling trying to decide what to do with all the old posts which made up Jammy Toast before the re-launch in 2015 – we started in 2006, so that is 9 years’ worth of Toast. First we tried to restore all the old posts but that was proving too disruptive and time-consuming for the Jammy Toast site and it would have taken many, many months to complete. We needed a better plan.
We have been a little concerned here at Jammy Toast as the day of Brexit looms. Today is the day Theresa May delivered the letter that formally begins the UK’s departure from the European Union. Giving official notice under Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty, it was delivered to European Council president Donald Tusk earlier today. However, what we are concerned about here at Jammy Toast is, where will we get our jammy fruits from once we have left? Trade with Europe will be more difficult and trade is likely to be more expensive once we have left. However, most of the fruit used in the production of our favourite Jams comes from Europe. We may have to pay much higher prices for our Jammy Toast!