Classic Toast Archive Posts

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast33 Comments

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For the last few months, Edward has been hard at work collating and restoring old Jammy Toast posts. He finished most of this work last week and we are now in the process of restoring these posts to Jammy Toast. If you look on the Archives list to the right of this post (it may be down at the bottom of your screen if you are using a phone) you will notice that the archive list now stretches back to June 2006 when we first started blogging. You might also notice that in the Categories list there is a category called “Archive Post”, these old posts will also be available here if you click on it.

Lord Davidd Of Birko OBE DASc

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast28 Comments

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Our very own Davidd with The Queen & animal rights activist Chelsea Clinton.

Iwas sitting down watching the footie last Sunday afternoon with some of the bears when there came a knock on the Jammy Toast Centre front door. Razzi went to the door to see who it was and returned moments later to announce there was some posh, old bird at the door with a crown on her wig. We are going to have to stop him mixing with Andreaa. He showed her in and there stood The Queen and Prince Charles wanting to have a little chat with me. I was shocked. I had met The Queen once before when I went to Buckingham Palace to get my OBE but I hadn’t expected Her Majesty to allow me the honour of a home visit.

Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast24 Comments

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Chimpton in her new wrap-around skirt!

May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We’re going to have a problem here. ‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady. All you other Slim Shady’s are just imitating… so the song goes. Well here at Jammy Toast we don’t lie to our loyal Toasters or imitate anybody. After all you are our friends and friends just don’t lie or deceive each other but today we have to hold our hands up and admit… we have lied, we have deceived and we have imitated.

Employment Opportunities At Jammy Toast

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast44 Comments

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For some time now I have been looking for an Apprentice Bearkeeper to help out with the day to day chores around Jammy Toast. In particular, I wanted some help with pooper scooping around the Jammy Toast Centre. If there is one thing you cannot teach Renault Bears to do it is to poop in a toilet designed for humans. The toilets are just too high for the little guys to reach. So our bears revert to their wild fore-fathers and do it in the woods – or in our case, the trees in Birkenhead Park. Wirral Council are not amused and we have had discouraging letters from their Environmental Team already. I did put out an appeal for some help last year but we had few takers – so now I am asking again.

Davidd Honoured By Liverpool University

Posted by The Bears on
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Davidd doing his best Professor pose!

Our very own Davidd has been awarded an honorary doctorate by Liverpool University. Davidd Bearkeeper OBE is to be honoured for his rescue work with Renault Bears. The Bearkeeper said after yesterday’s announcement, “What a thrill, whoever would have thought it.” Davidd is to be presented with the Honorary Doctor of Animal Science (DASc) in “acknowledgement of his work in rescuing and rehabilitating bears and for educating people on bear matters.” Davidd had a question following the announcement: “Now I’m a doctor, can I write my own prescriptions?”

Day The Police Raided Jammy Toast

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast26 Comments

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We always consider ourselves to be law abiding citizens here at Jammy Toast, but there was a time this was put to the test. Chimpton reminded us the other day of the day Jammy Toast was indeed raided by the Police. Now before all your minds start running away with you, it was not a drugs raid. The Police had not had a tip-off about Chimpton’s secret cake stash or Razzi’s porn collection – this was something much more serious. So-much-so that if it happened today we would probably have been carted off in handcuffs and Theresa May would chalk up another victim to her Investigative Powers Act.

Jammy Toast Makes Front Page News

Posted by The Bears on
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Some of you may have noticed from yesterday’s post that Davidd was awarded an OBE *cough* in the New Year’s Honours list. Well, we are not normally readers of the Daily Star but this morning when we went for our regular newspaper we couldn’t believe our eyes. There gazing back at us from the Star’s front page was our very own Davidd Bearkeeper OBE. He has only gone and made front page news – and not for the reasons we would have originally thought. We were astonished. So-much-so that we thought we would reproduce it for you here…