Davidd Honoured By Liverpool University

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Davidd doing his best Professor pose!

Our very own Davidd has been awarded an honorary doctorate by Liverpool University. Davidd Bearkeeper OBE is to be honoured for his rescue work with Renault Bears. The Bearkeeper said after yesterday’s announcement, “What a thrill, whoever would have thought it.” Davidd is to be presented with the Honorary Doctor of Animal Science (DASc) in “acknowledgement of his work in rescuing and rehabilitating bears and for educating people on bear matters.” Davidd had a question following the announcement: “Now I’m a doctor, can I write my own prescriptions?”

Day The Police Raided Jammy Toast

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We always consider ourselves to be law abiding citizens here at Jammy Toast, but there was a time this was put to the test. Chimpton reminded us the other day of the day Jammy Toast was indeed raided by the Police. Now before all your minds start running away with you, it was not a drugs raid. The Police had not had a tip-off about Chimpton’s secret cake stash or Razzi’s porn collection – this was something much more serious. So-much-so that if it happened today we would probably have been carted off in handcuffs and Theresa May would chalk up another victim to her Investigative Powers Act.

Jammy Toast Makes Front Page News

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Some of you may have noticed from yesterday’s post that Davidd was awarded an OBE *cough* in the New Year’s Honours list. Well, we are not normally readers of the Daily Star but this morning when we went for our regular newspaper we couldn’t believe our eyes. There gazing back at us from the Star’s front page was our very own Davidd Bearkeeper OBE. He has only gone and made front page news – and not for the reasons we would have originally thought. We were astonished. So-much-so that we thought we would reproduce it for you here…

Davidd Gets OBE For Services To Bears

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Our very own Davidd Bearkeeper has been awarded an OBE in the Queen’s New Year’s Honours List. He has been recognised for his services to animals – namely bears. The Birkenvegas born keeper has been helping preserve Renault Bears since he was given Eddie Bear to take on holiday to Egypt in 2006. He later entrusted Eddie to his daughter, Chimpton, who looks after the little bear to this day. Davidd has since gone on to rescue nearly three hundred Renault Bears and has founded the Jammy Toast Retirement Home for elderly and unwanted bears.

Dissociative Identity Disorder

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You may have noticed from time to time that some very famous people visit Jammy Toast and leave comments on our posts. These celebrities are many and varied including, amongst others, God, Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour, Garfield the Cat, Stars of Monsters Inc. Sully & Mike Wazowski, The Cookie Monster, Meerkats Alexsandr Orlov & Sergei, Film Star Ted, Catfish stars Nev and Max, Authors Dr Seuss & Michael Bond, Santa Claus, Queen Elizabeth II, HRH Prince Charles, Members of the Royle Family, Rico & Larry the Cat, Bob Dylan, Jay & Silent Bob, Terry Tibbs, The Ghost of Elvis, Hawkwind’s Dave Brook, Sheriff Buford T Justice, Paisley from Tattoo Fixers, Former Prime Minister David Cameron, Comedienne Aisling Bea, Star of Ray Donovan Kerris Dorsey, Sigmund Freud, Alf Garnett, Cher Lloyd, Paddington Bear, Steven Seagull and Jon Pigeon. You may have wondered if these people were actually visiting Jammy Toast or was someone just making the whole thing up.

Renault Bear Documentary

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We were sitting around the breakfast table this morning, eating our Jammy Toast, when Razzi got up and headed for the front door. Razzi always hears the postman before anyone else so there was no surprise when he returned with an envelope in his hand. Straight away we knew it was something exciting because it was from the BBC. I opened the envelope and inside – to everyone’s surprise – was a letter from noted wildlife film maker Gordon Buchanan. Even more surprises were to follow because Gordon only wants to come and make a wildlife documentary called The Renault Bears of Jammy Toast. We were gobsmacked!

Happy Second Birthday To New Jammy Toast

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Today we would like to wish New Jammy Toast a very happy second birthday. Two years ago today, at 6pm, we published our first post on the brand new site. We decided to move from the old site because we got fed up with all the rain and wind and storms of England and decided to move to our very own tropical desert island. On our island the sun always shone and the temperature was always at least into the thirties – sometimes even the forties. We ate our Jammy Toast on the beach disturbed only by the sound of the waves hitting the beach and the distant cry of the gulls – much to The Chimpton’s annoyance. Once a week a boat arrived with supplies on-board for the coming week, including plenty of sun-cream to stop us from looking like a frequenter of nudist beaches. Needless to say Razzi says the sun-cream is only for wimps and insists that the knotted-hankie on his head is enough to keep the sun at bay – he learnt well from the Master. The days were relaxed and the evenings spent in the tranquillity of the balmy heat remaining from the day. Then the alarm-clock went off and we were back in Birkenhead…