Dissociative Identity Disorder

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast28 Comments

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You may have noticed from time to time that some very famous people visit Jammy Toast and leave comments on our posts. These celebrities are many and varied including, amongst others, God, Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour, Garfield the Cat, Stars of Monsters Inc. Sully & Mike Wazowski, The Cookie Monster, Meerkats Alexsandr Orlov & Sergei, Film Star Ted, Catfish stars Nev and Max, Authors Dr Seuss & Michael Bond, Santa Claus, Queen Elizabeth II, HRH Prince Charles, Members of the Royle Family, Rico & Larry the Cat, Bob Dylan, Jay & Silent Bob, Terry Tibbs, The Ghost of Elvis, Hawkwind’s Dave Brook, Sheriff Buford T Justice, Paisley from Tattoo Fixers, Former Prime Minister David Cameron, Comedienne Aisling Bea, Star of Ray Donovan Kerris Dorsey, Sigmund Freud, Alf Garnett, Cher Lloyd, Paddington Bear, Steven Seagull and Jon Pigeon. You may have wondered if these people were actually visiting Jammy Toast or was someone just making the whole thing up.

I have to confess it was me. I have actually pretended to be these people and left comments in their name. Some of you may not be too surprised at this unless you actually thought God and the Queen visited Jammy Toast on a regular basis. However, The Chimpton was shocked to the core and has accused me of being a “freak” and suggested I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

Now DID is a mental disorder characterized by at least two – in my case obviously many more – distinct and relatively enduring identities. These identities show up in a person’s behaviour and is often accompanied by memory impairment – this again is an exact description of me because I keep forgetting people’s names (except for made-up ones, obviously) – and cannot be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

The Chimpton Chats with Eddie

The Chimpton Chats with Eddie

These symptoms are not accounted for by substance abuse, seizures, or other medical conditions, nor by imaginative play in children. Dissociative symptoms range from common lapses in attention, becoming distracted by something else, or daydreaming. However, they have been attributed to disruptions in memory caused by trauma or other forms of stress.

It is generally believed that DID rarely resolves itself spontaneously. In general, prognosis is poor, especially for those with other similar disorders. DID is diagnosed more frequently in North America than in the rest of the world, and is diagnosed three to nine times more often in females than in males. DID became a popular diagnosis in the 1970s, ’80s, and ’90s, but it is unclear whether the actual rate of the disorder increased, whether it was more recognized by health care providers, or whether sociocultural factors caused an increase in presentations.

So what is the answer to this? I can only see three alternatives;

  1. either all these famous people actually visit Jammy Toast
  2. I have DID – and the associated forgetfulness – and as such I am fucked
  3. The Chimpton is a little naïve and over-believing

Finally, to finish, I would just like to ask one question; who is it who spends her days locked away from the world, talking to Eddie Bear but has the cheek to suggest that I have a Multiple Identity Disorder?

I tell you, Mental Health Issues are ripe around Jammy Toast!

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About the Author

The Bearkeeper

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!

28 Comments on “Dissociative Identity Disorder”

  1. It was more the unassuming characters dad. Like Pauline/Lennox (even though you have now given him the correct picture)/Aisling/Faye to name a few of your other pseudonyms. Yes I am naive and unfortunately the mhi’s in this family run riot. What can I say, Eddie is my best friend and I don’t give a flying fuck ?

  2. Man gave names to all the animals
    In the beginning, long time ago
    He saw an animal that liked to growl
    Big furry paws and he liked to howl
    Great big furry back and furry hair
    “Ah, think I’ll call it a bear”

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