Happy Birthday, Davidd

Posted by Edward Bear PhD. on
Category: Jammy Toast23 Comments

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Today is Bearkeeper Davidd’s birthday, so all The Bears would like to wish him a Very Happy Birthday. We asked him what he wanted for his Birthday and because we all love him so much we asked what he would like us to buy as a present for today. He said to prove how much we all think of him we had to get him something that would do 0 – 200 in less than four seconds… so we got him a set of bathroom scales. He mentioned that he hoped he wouldn’t get heartburn this year after eating birthday cake so we told him it would help if this year he would blow the candles out first!

But really, this past year we have noticed quite a few things about Davidd…

  • Whenever he sees a sexy babe walking down the road his pacemaker opens the garage door
  • He wakes up, looking like his driver’s license picture
  • It takes him two goes to get up from the couch
  • To him happy hour is a nap
  • His idea of weight lifting is standing up
  • It takes him longer to rest than it did to get tired
  • His memory is shorter and his complaining is longer
  • It takes him twice as long to look half as good
  • When he sits in a rocking chair he can’t get it going
  • He confuses having a clear conscience with having a bad memory
  • Every time he sucks in your stomach, his ankles swell
  • He finds it’s getting harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick
  • His secrets are safe with his friends because they can’t remember them either
  • Things he buys now won’t wear out
  • When he lights the candles on his birthday cake, a group of campers formed a circle and started singing “Kumbaya”
  • He watches Jeremy Kyle and Judge Judy
  • It takes him two goes to get over a speed bump
  • He begins every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
  • He runs out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs
  • His childhood toys are now in a museum
  • The clothes he put away until they came back in style… have now come back in style
  • All his favorite movies are now re-released in colour
  • He would rather go to work than stay home sick
  • He no longer thinks of speed limits as a challenge
  • His ears are hairier than his head
  • His knees buckle but his belt won’t
  • He doesn’t remember being absent minded

And finally, please remember – in Davidd’s case, growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional!

Happy Birthday, Davidd!

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Edward Bear PhD.

I am the bear in charge of things and also the Blog Admin. I keep the bear’s online presence alive and ticking while helping with many of the day to day tasks around Jammy Toast. I also have the distinction of being the only bear to graduate from Cambridge University where I gained a PhD. in Computer Sciences.

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