Other celebrities are facing the same sort of accusations. When we told Sheriff Buford T Justice of the Montague County Sheriff’s Department in Texas that people were doubting his validity he replied: “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law. What the hell is the world coming to? This kind of thing happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin’ around with those show folk fags.”
Even royalty is not exempt from the claims. HRH Prince Charles and his mother The Queen often leave their comments on our site which seems to ignite hatred amongst our detractors. Unfortunately, a spokesperson for Buckingham Palace stated that no one was available to comment on these allegations but The Queen did later text Razzi to say: “Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, reading JT is just one of them.”
The Bard of Salford was also hurt by the accusations and commented: “As they used to say on Stingray: ‘Anything can happen in the next half-hour’. I’ve always tried to live with that thought in mind. I mean Jammy Toast is boring, mindless and mean. Full of pornography, the kind that’s clean.”
Speaking of pornography, other visitors – who asked to remain anonymous – stated that they only visited Jammy Toast for The Chimpton’s bum pictures.
Other visitors have had scorn poured on their authenticity including: Paddington Bear, Terry Tibbs, Sigmund Freud, Alexsandr Orlov and Sergei, Scarlett Moffatt, Rachel Riley, Susie Dent, Michael Bond, Max Headroom, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Kerris Dorsey, Dave Allen, David Cameron, Cookie Monster, Clark Griswold, Garfield and Jim Royle and other members of the Royle family.
I think it is also worth mentioning that the first person to attack our sincerity was the Chimpton. She is also the one who questioned whether our friend Elvis Presley was still alive. Most of our readers believe every word we say because… well, would we lie to you?
It is such a shame my own daughter is the only true non-believer!
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