Omphaloskepsis

Posted by Davidd on
Category: Bears22 Comments

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Four statues depicting omphaloskepsis.

It is a little known fact that Renault Bears have been held back through-out history because of omphaloskepsis. They could have been rulers of our planet if it were not for this one little thing. Many people consider that we are the ruling species on this planet because we have thumbs but there is something much more important to consider and that is omphaloskepsis. Some people have been known to practice omphaloskepsis for up to three hours a day. So just what is this mystery element? Omphaloskepsis or navel-gazing is contemplation of one’s navel as an aid to meditation.

The word comes from Greek omphalos (navel) and skepsis (the act of looking, examination).

Actual use of the practice as an aid to contemplation of basic principles of the cosmos and human nature is found in the practice of yoga of Hinduism and sometimes in the Eastern Orthodox Church. Some consider the navel to be “a powerful chakra of the body”.

Phrases such as “contemplating one’s navel” or “navel-gazing” are frequently used, usually in jocular fashion, to refer to self-absorbed pursuits. However, because Renault bears do not have a navel this is something that is beyond them.

Omphaloskepsis can take the form of hypnosis carried out by means of a learned routine. Hypnosis may help pain management, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, obesity, asthma, and skin conditions. When this practice is mastered, it can improve concentration, recall, enhance problem solving, alleviate headaches and even improve one’s control of emotions.

Self-hypnosis requires four distinct steps.

  1. Without proper motivation, an individual will find it very difficult to practice self-hypnosis
  2. Relaxation: The individual must be thoroughly relaxed and must set aside time to perform this act. Additionally, distractions should be eliminated as full attention is needed.
  3. Concentration: the individual needs to concentrate completely as progress is made each time the mind focuses on a single image.
  4. Directing: This is an option used only when the individual wants to work on a specific goal. The individual must direct their concentration on visualizing the desired result.

Self-directed thought which is based on hypnosis can be used for many other issues and behavioural problems. So our best advice is to spend as much time as possible contemplating your navel.

Unfortunately, our bears will just have to find something else to contemplate.

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Davidd

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A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears. Running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears – his life is no longer his own.


22 Comments on “Omphaloskepsis”

  1. Here is the latest X Factor news.

    Louis Walsh really wants you to Win.
    Harry Styles is Dressed as a Car Mechanic.
    Simon Cowell has Hairy Cheeks.
    Nicole Scherzinger has stolen some Wire.

    It is still Completely Shit.

  2. Hoping for everyone no celeb scandals come out about Jesus. Waiting for a secret scroll revealing he turned the water into wine, got hammered, then groped a bridesmaid. “That’s well & good baby, but I’ve got 12 loyal guys who’ll back me & say it didn’t happen”.

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