Razzi Writes #23

Posted by Erasmus 'Razzi' Bear on
Category: Erasmus 'Razzi' Bear24 Comments

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As everyone who reads Jammy Toast already knows, Elvis Presley is alive and well and leaves comments on our posts every so often. However, this week sees the fortieth anniversary of his death and so the national press is full of conspiracy theory stories asking did Elvis really leave the building in 1977. Ever since his death there have been dozens of theories about his lack of demise and rumours he simply went into hiding. Our friend Elvis doesn’t want people to know that he is still around but unfortunately the conspiracy theories refuse to die.

Many celebrities love visiting Jammy Toast and leave their comments on our posts but some people refuse to believe it is really them. Singer Rickie Lee Jones pops by and has a little sing in the comments section every now and then. This doesn’t hurt anybody but people seem to think there is some kind of shenanigans going on. Even Miss Chimpton questioned her authenticity the other day and accused Davidd of faking it.

Aleksandr Orlov, Alf Garnet, Sheriff Buford T Justice, Prince Charlies, The Cookie Monster, Dave Brock, David Cameron, Frank Gallagher, Frankie Boyle, Garfield, Jason Mews, Jim Royle and members of the Royle Family, John Cooper Clarke, Kevin Smith and even Paddington Bear like to call by every so often and leave their tu’pence worth. Even The Queen and God have been known to pop round for a quick comment.

Why do people have a problem with this?

However, it is Elvis who seems to course the most speculation. Several people even claim to have seen him since he was supposed to have died. One rash of alleged sightings took place in Michigan. In 1988, the downtown Burger King attracted international attention after a story in the Kalamazoo Gazette identified it as one of two places that a local woman and her daughter claimed to have seen the king of Rock ‘n’ Roll. It is getting to something when the poor guy can’t even pop out for a burger without causing worldwide speculation.

So, today we are asking you our dear, trusted readers to keep the secret safe. If any of our celebrity followers leaves a comment on Jammy Toast then keep it a secret. Don’t go telling the story of their faked deaths to the gutter press and respect their privacy.

You know it makes sense!

Garfield StripGarfield is copyright © Paws, Inc. If you like the cartoons we reproduce here on Jammy Toast, please consider purchasing some of the Garfield merchandise. These are available through Garfield.com where you can view them in full-colour and at a higher quality!


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Erasmus 'Razzi' Bear

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Self-confessed playbear and lady-killer; Razzi has the heart of many of our friends at his beck and call. Although very hard working in his daytime job as an Assistant Driving Instructor, he also likes to play very hard when the day is done. A smouldering look from Razzi has been known to melt many a fair maiden’s icy heart!


24 Comments on “Razzi Writes #23”

  1. This place has gone to the dogs since that Chimpton girl started coming on here. Now even Ghost of Elvis doesn’t get any peace and quiet!

  2. Twitter verify accounts with a blue tick to prove that people are who they say they are. If you go and search for Ghost of Elvis Presley on Twitter you will find there is a verified account. What more proof do you need?

  3. I thought Ray WAS nice. I even wait so your comment is first as your like toast royalty I guess I was very wrong 😢

  4. Let’s get this straight. According to Jammy Toast, the world is flat and Ghost of Elvis is still alive. Do you think we landed on the moon or not?

  5. I’m gonna make a reality show that sets dogs up on blind dates so they can find soulmates. “The Bark Of Love: cold noses, warmed hearts”

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