My Name Is Chimpton And I Am An Alcoholic

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Food & Drink28 Comments

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Chimpton, never happier than when she has a drink in her hand!

This week seems to be the week for confessions and so I think it is time to get the big one out of the way. We have told of past lies to you, our loyal Toasters, and I have also made a few confessions about things we have said here on Jammy Toast in the past. Now, after some of the nonsensical comments Chimpton has left about her bald Dad needing a hair-cut, it is becoming more and more obvious that she has a drink problem. To be fair to Chimpton she has always been open and above-board about her stoner habits – she could even put Jay & Silent Bob to shame – but has always been in denial about her drinking. Now is time for a confessional.

Eddie Visits Cuba

Posted by Eddie Bear on
Category: Holidays11 Comments

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Eddie samples some of the local "produce"”!

Hello everybody, I don’t often get the chance to write for Jammy Toast because I don’t live there I live with The Chimpton who is rather forgetful. The Bearkeeper asks her to remind me to write something for Jammy Toast but she forgets. So I only write here very infrequently, in fact, there is a chance you may not know who I am so I think it is only fair that I introduce myself. My name is Eddie and I was the very first Renault Bear to be saved. When I say “saved” I actually mean stolen because I used to live with a guy called Tony who let me go on holiday with Mr Bearkeeper and The Chimpton. I became quite attached to The Chimpton and when we returned to England it appears the feeling was mutual because she then refused to return me and has held me captive at Chimpton Towers ever since. Luckily, Tony has long forgiven The Chimpton for this theft of myself and even admits that I am better off being looked after by a Chimpton than by Tony who can sometimes be a little… naughty!