Ice Cream Sunday

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Friends & Relatives33 Comments

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Birkenhead Docks 1972, Chimpton and her brother wait to be purchased.

It was Chimpton’s Birthday on Saturday and so we decided to meet up for one of our infamous Ice Cream Runs on Sunday. We usually have a laugh and sit in the car park of McDonald’s for a couple of hours – me eating my Crème Egg McFlurry and Chimpton munching on her Caramel McFlurry. Once these are consumed the skitting starts in earnest. Some of the parking has to be seen to be believed and the best of it we post in the Facebook group – Parking Like A Twat, Merseyside. If you don’t follow this group I can fully recommend it, see if there is one in your area and if so join up. It is full of people who just can’t manage to get a car into a parking bay and we don’t mean they miss by inches – we are talking about half-a-car width out!

A Travesty Of Justice

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Category: General21 Comments

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St Catherine’s Hospital prior to its demolition in 2010.

Today I would like to report a possible conspiracy which has haunted me for 57 years. As you will all have read, yesterday was my birthday. I was born in St Catherine’s Hospital[*] where the most hideous of mix-ups occurred that has affected my whole life. You see my Mummy – who we call Granny here on Jammy Toast because she is The Chimpton’s Granny – is thick, as you all know from some of the stories we have published over the years. I also have two sisters who are exactly the same; both as thick as Granny and who prattle-on on just about any subject you care to mention. On the other hand, I am a relatively intelligent person who – as the Chimpton will confirm – is quiet, noble and withdrawn. In fact, the complete opposite of Granny, Diane and Pauline. What I have always maintained is that all those years ago there was a mix-up at the hospital and a rather intelligent, good-looking family took Granny’s real son home and I was left to endure the family from hell.

Happy Second Birthday To New Jammy Toast

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast19 Comments

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Today we would like to wish New Jammy Toast a very happy second birthday. Two years ago today, at 6pm, we published our first post on the brand new site. We decided to move from the old site because we got fed up with all the rain and wind and storms of England and decided to move to our very own tropical desert island. On our island the sun always shone and the temperature was always at least into the thirties – sometimes even the forties. We ate our Jammy Toast on the beach disturbed only by the sound of the waves hitting the beach and the distant cry of the gulls – much to The Chimpton’s annoyance. Once a week a boat arrived with supplies on-board for the coming week, including plenty of sun-cream to stop us from looking like a frequenter of nudist beaches. Needless to say Razzi says the sun-cream is only for wimps and insists that the knotted-hankie on his head is enough to keep the sun at bay – he learnt well from the Master. The days were relaxed and the evenings spent in the tranquillity of the balmy heat remaining from the day. Then the alarm-clock went off and we were back in Birkenhead…

The Queen turns 17

Posted by TJ Chimpton on
Category: From Queen's Blog, Royal FamilyNo Comments

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Hello everyone, I’m a little late with my wishes however as they say better late than never. My little sis turned 17 yesterday, I can’t believe she is 17 when I look back through the blog and see how young she was when we first started this here blog thingy, it doesn’t seem like 2 minutes ago since we where in the park throwing tomatoes at each other (good times). So yesterday would you believe she started her driving lessons with none other than servant Dave. I would just like to wish my little sis a happy belated birthday, she is still celebrating for the rest of the week, with a party planned for tomorrow and a concert on Sunday, so my birthday wishes are not that belated.

Daddy D Hits Fifty

Posted by TJ Chimpton on
Category: From Queen's Blog, Royal Family1 Comment

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For those of you who have followed this blog for a while will know, we love to tell the world what is happening in our little corner of the universe. So today is a rather special day, its not every day that your dad hits fifty, now I know he will hum and arrh about me doing this post but I don’t care, and to be honest he doesn’t act fifty as you all well know.

A Piece Of Granny’s Mind

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: From Granny's Blog, Grannyisms3 Comments

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Next weekend is my Birthday and to celebrate I am going to an Italian restaurant with my Chimpton daughter, The Queen and Mick, a friend. Granny is disgusted that she did not get an invite to our outing and has confronted me about it. All I have to say is that while it is bad enough having to deal with Granny’s bizarre behaviour at home, the thought of having to deal with her in public was just too much to contemplate.

Time Passes Quickly

Posted by TJ Chimpton on
Category: Friends & Relatives, From Queen's Blog1 Comment

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Iremember very clearly this time five years ago, I was a few days away from my 30th birthday and headed over to New York to celebrate. It was going to be the most exciting time and something that would create memories forever, 30 and in NY — what more could a girl ask for? It didn’t go quite to plan and although it was a good trip and I have some nice memories of the city that never sleeps (and is that so true) I never got to meet Prince Charming or have that birthday kiss I longed for. I did get to see the monkeys that jump into the pools in Central Park though, which was GREAT.

Sixteen Today

Posted by TJ Chimpton on
Category: From Queen's Blog, Royal Family1 Comment

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For her Birthday, the Queen just had to have her hair done!

Hello everyone. Today is a special day, the Queen is the ripe old age of 16. This is really special for all of us as due to her health complications she is doing exceptionally well and we are all very proud of her and this little milestone. So yesterday I decided to get some rather embarrassing pictures of her and ensure that the front of the house was well and truly decorated, needless to say she wasn’t that impressed with some of the pictures haha.