Some of you may have been wondering where the hell we have been after we disappeared so quickly and without much notice last weekend. As many of you would have been aware, before we vanished we had been working on restoring all our archive and classic posts – a big job in itself as we have 3,791 posts with over 70,000 comments stretching back to 2006. The frustrating part was how long the whole process was taking. Edward and I were getting through about a dozen posts a day – on a good day – checking them, replacing missing media and solving layout problems. This meant it was going to take over a year to complete. We were also being slowed down by having to write new posts and moderate comments, etc. We needed a cunning plan!
We always consider ourselves to be law abiding citizens here at Jammy Toast, but there was a time this was put to the test. Chimpton reminded us the other day of the day Jammy Toast was indeed raided by the Police. Now before all your minds start running away with you, it was not a drugs raid. The Police had not had a tip-off about Chimpton’s secret cake stash or Razzi’s porn collection – this was something much more serious. So-much-so that if it happened today we would probably have been carted off in handcuffs and Theresa May would chalk up another victim to her Investigative Powers Act.
Well now we have the big day out of the way, I thought I would come and share some news with you, dear reader. Starting in the New Year we will have a new contributor to Jammy Toast who will be posting stories about life, love and the eternal pursuit of happiness. The new contributor will be a young lady by the name of Andreaa. Now Andreaa is a little special around here because she was our very first friend back in the days when Ananasty and I first started blogging. The year was Anno Domini 2006 when we took our first faltering steps onto Blogger and Andreaa found us… and basically started bullying us. I mean, she was thirteen-years-old when all said and done. If you are asking yourself how a thirteen year old schoolgirl could possibly bully a fully grown man, then you have obviously never come across Andreaa.
Today we would like to wish New Jammy Toast a very happy second birthday. Two years ago today, at 6pm, we published our first post on the brand new site. We decided to move from the old site because we got fed up with all the rain and wind and storms of England and decided to move to our very own tropical desert island. On our island the sun always shone and the temperature was always at least into the thirties – sometimes even the forties. We ate our Jammy Toast on the beach disturbed only by the sound of the waves hitting the beach and the distant cry of the gulls – much to The Chimpton’s annoyance. Once a week a boat arrived with supplies on-board for the coming week, including plenty of sun-cream to stop us from looking like a frequenter of nudist beaches. Needless to say Razzi says the sun-cream is only for wimps and insists that the knotted-hankie on his head is enough to keep the sun at bay – he learnt well from the Master. The days were relaxed and the evenings spent in the tranquillity of the balmy heat remaining from the day. Then the alarm-clock went off and we were back in Birkenhead…
Today I thought I would interview Davidd and ask him some of the questions many of the bears would love an answer to. Davidd started blogging way back in 2006 and during that time has been involved in some great stunts and so we thought who better to interview than the great man himself. We thought we would ask him some questions based on Jammy Toast but also on the universe as a whole. After all, to us bears, Davidd is the oracle of all wisdom – even Chimpton calls him The Wise Old Owl…
Jammy Toast was reeling last night after allegations that some of our celebrity visitors are fake. Just because some of our readers are celebrity A-Listers does not mean we are making them up or fabricating comments in any way. In fact, we put these accusations to Razzi’s friend Mena Suvari and she said that there is nothing she enjoys more than reading Jammy Toast but she did go on to say, “I just wish Razzi was featured more than he is, because he is a very handsome bear.” Others have suggested that Elvis Presley could not possibly have left a comment because he is dead. Jammy Toast has confessed – following an investigation – it was not Elvis leaving the comments but it was his ghost.
As everyone who reads Jammy Toast already knows, Elvis Presley is alive and well and leaves comments on our posts every so often. However, this week sees the fortieth anniversary of his death and so the national press is full of conspiracy theory stories asking did Elvis really leave the building in 1977. Ever since his death there have been dozens of theories about his lack of demise and rumours he simply went into hiding. Our friend Elvis doesn’t want people to know that he is still around but unfortunately the conspiracy theories refuse to die.
Good Afternoon everyone, this is Edward here. I hope you have all been enjoying the sun this afternoon for the first time this year and been thinking about me working hard. As most of you will already know, I have been working on restoring the old archive posts for your enjoyment. Well, here comes the really important news – they are nearly ready to be posted live here on Jammy Toast. That is nearly nine years’ worth of old posts.
Thanks to those of you who warned us yesterday of a security flaw in the WordPress blogging software that we use here on Jammy Toast. Fortunately, we are ahead of the game and keep our installation of WordPress up to date and so, hopefully, it is secure. However, others whose websites are not as well updated have been left open to attack and tens of thousands of sites have been defaced. One estimate suggests more than 1.5 million pages on blogs have been defaced. The security firm that found the vulnerability said some hackers were now trying to use it to take over sites rather than just spoil pages. WordPress has urged site owners to keep their software up to date and avoid falling victim.
Some of you may have noticed that we haven’t heard much from Edward lately. He hasn’t written anything for his column for some time and there has been nothing much new in the way of innovation around Jammy Toast. “Has he left home?” I was asked last night. Well, to put everyone out of their misery, he has started wading through all our old posts going back to 2006 when we first started a blog off with a view to starting up an archive of old posts.