Hi Guys and welcome back to Jammy Toast after our short upheaval. Sorry for the short notice on our disappearance but Eric decided he wanted to start a new website off and that he needed help and it was a case of all hands to the bump. Most of you will have noticed he is now up and running and has been posting for the last few days on his brand new website. If you haven’t already done so, pop over and say hello to the little yellow man – he will definitely appreciate it.
Somebody asked me last night what was Jammy Toast all about. I had to confess for once I was lost for words. It is kind of difficult to explain to someone just what Jammy Toast is without sounding like a complete and utter moron. In reality, Jammy Toast consists of myself, a slacker who is the laziest person ever born, and a whole bunch of Teddy Bears rescued from charity shops and eBay. The Teddy Bears were all once loved by children but have now retired from child-minding duties and spend their lives eating Jammy Toast, watching telly and playing on the internet – if you believe the story.
It has been a few years now since I came to stay at Jammy Toast. During that time I have been fed my favourite Jammy Toast, given access to unlimited amounts of the internet, allowed to watch copious amounts of daytime telly and have accompanied The Bearkeeper during many of our adventures. This all sounds great fun I hear you all say so just why would I consider that cruel? Well here is why I consider Jammy Toast to be cruel to me…
Please excuse Jammy Toast from going missing for the last few days, we have been playing around with the new version of X. I say “we” but what I really mean is “Edward”. He has been experimenting and finding out just what is possible with the new version of X and its new page-builder; “Cornerstone”. Furthermore, he is thinking of redesigning the home page using some of the new design elements available through X and Cornerstone. Watch this space for future developments…
Here at Jammy Toast we need your help in a large fund-raising idea that Razzi has come up with. This morning we were sitting around the breakfast table eating our morning jam on toast when suddenly Razzi lifted his head from the newspaper and said; “Michael Jackson’s Neverland is up for sale. Wouldn’t it be great if we moved in there and made it the new Jammy Toast?” We all thought this was a great idea from the little fellow except that the price tag is £65 million and we are a little bit short of the asking price.
Well at last it has happened, after waiting for what seems like a lifetime, we finally got our paws on the new version of our theme. X Version 4 has now been implemented on Jammy Toast with the new page-builder, simply called Cornerstone. This is a standalone plugin with a custom frontend interface for building pages and posts with the integrated shortcodes. This takes the place of the X Shortcodes and will ultimately take over from Visual Composer. We already have plans for some new features on Jammy Toast to demonstrate just what X can do.
The people who make our WordPress theme, Themeco, have told us that a big update is on the way. They are currently on the final stretch and if all goes according to plan, they will be releasing the latest version towards the end of this week. This is a big update and is causing a great deal of excitement with Edward who no doubt will be installing it as soon as he gets hold of it. Themeco have packed in some exciting things with this update but so far and just building up the suspense and not revealing just what they are as yet.
For the last couple of days Jammy Toast has been laid low by a mystery bug. Everyone was off their Jammy Toast and no one wanted to eat for twenty-four hours. We have no idea where it came from but we are over it now so must assume it was one of those mystery twenty-four hour bugs. All of us are now back on our feet and demanding more Vera because during the last couple of days we have all been lying under duvets watching Vera on Sky Box Sets. We have fallen in love with the old battle-axe detective. She has seen us through our hours of need.
While everyone has hopefully been enjoying their Easter Bank Holiday, Edward has been hard at work restoring all the old Posts featuring Miss Chimpton, Ananasty and Davidd. Some of the stories are quite amusing and also show just how naughty the terrible trio used to be. The restored posts cover the period from June 2006 through to December 2006 featuring some wonderful stories. Who can forget the Story of Mick, Princess Natalie and the Lighthouse, Antony Cadillac, The Romance between Miss Chimpton and Speedo Trunks Man. Who can forget the day Lisa dared to step out of the house in her Jarmies with a hangover or Chimpton in her Flasher coat?
Here at Jammy Toast we are more or less ready for Christmas and, like the rest of the country, hoping for a white Christmas. However, statistically we are more likely in this country to have a white Easter than a white Christmas! December is the start of the UK snow window, and it takes just one snowflake to fall on London on the 25th December to get the bookmakers to pay out on bets. Yet wintry weather is actually more common between January and March. But how did we become so obsessed with snow at Christmas, and what are the chances of it actually happening?