Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Jammy Toast24 Comments

Tags: , ,
Chimpton in her new wrap-around skirt!

May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We’re going to have a problem here. ‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady. All you other Slim Shady’s are just imitating… so the song goes. Well here at Jammy Toast we don’t lie to our loyal Toasters or imitate anybody. After all you are our friends and friends just don’t lie or deceive each other but today we have to hold our hands up and admit… we have lied, we have deceived and we have imitated.

The Impartial Story

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Friends & Relatives38 Comments

Tags: , ,
A picture of Lestly – note the hair protruding above his shirt.

LLast week we had a thinly-veiled story from Lestly – dressed up as a Fairytale – and let’s be honest, it was quite amusing. In some areas it was even truthful. So we have heard from Lestly with his side of the story and we have also heard Chimpton and her denials. Lestly’s story was disguised as a Fairytale featuring Leonardo and Fiona – not to mention King Ramalamadingdong – whereas Chimpton was a little more direct – isn’t she always? If you missed the original story, it might make things clearer if you go and read that first here, before continuing with this story.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #5

Posted by Lestly on
Category: Lester's Column33 Comments

Tags: , ,

Hello again to all the Jammy Toasters. As you may remember, a couple of Hizzouses ago I was censored. Mr Davidd Bearkeeper OBE and The Chimpton refused to publish one of my posts. I can understand their reasoning though, because I wrote about what I had been doing over Christmas which, as they pointed out, didn’t really have much to do with Jammy Toast or Teddy Bears – I had left my teddy bear at home while I was away, so it was a little off subject. So this month, to stick to the rules, I shall tell you a story about two fictional characters who were in love. There is a teddy bear collector in the story but, of course, he is fictional and “bears” no relationship to actual bearkeepers living or dead. Everyone else is fictional too. In fact, no one in this story is real!

Lestly – A Case For Nev & Max?

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Friends & Relatives28 Comments

Tags: ,
Is Lestly a case for Catfish’s Nev & Max?

The Chimpton and I were chatting the other night, when we suddenly came to a remarkable realisation. Lestly has been ripping it out of Chimpton and me for the last couple of months – and we have just sat back and taken it. It has to be said, mostly because the posts he has made, we will reluctantly admit, have been rather amusing. However, both Chimpton and I think it is time for us to get our own back and hit him in the broadside with some of his own medicine – of which there is plenty.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #4

Posted by Lestly on
Category: Lester's Column41 Comments

Tags: ,

Hello again Jammy Toasters. The more observant amongst you might just notice that this post is entitled “Lestly In The Hizzouse #4” whilst the last one was “Lestly In The Hizzouse #2”. Before you ask, yes I can count, but unfortunately “Lestly In The Hizzouse #3” was not up to standard and Mr Bearkeeper refused to post it – no doubt in consultation with Chimpton. I wouldn’t mind but I wasn’t even being “horrit” towards her, either. So, in revenge, I thought I would come and tell all you Toasters just how embarrassing Mr Bearkeeper can be. These are true stories told to me by Chimpton, so hopefully we will get her into trouble. Let me know if you like these tomes because I do have many, many more.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #2

Posted by Lestly on
Category: Lester's Column21 Comments

Tags: ,

Hello again Jammy Toasters. I have returned again this month to spill more beans on my friendship with Miss Chimpton and this month, I thought I would tell you the story of the infamous Rubber Tree Plant. I consider this to be the high point of my friendship with Miss “C” and can I add that I was not hurt by what she said. I think she feels guilty for coming out with what she did but, in fact, it is probably one of the funniest things anyone has ever said to me. Also, before we all accuse her of being nasty, it is worth mentioning that she was – at the time – higher than either Jay or Silent Bob have ever been.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #1

Posted by Lestly on
Category: Lester's Column25 Comments

Tags: ,

Hello to all the regular Jammy Toasters, I feel like I know you all already but you may not know me. So the first thing I would like to do is introduce myself to you all. I am an old friend of Davidd and his bears and, as some of you may have noticed from the venom that passes back and forth, I am also an acquaintance of Miss Chimpton’s. Now Miss “C” doesn’t always like me very much because I have what she calls a “Wonky Donkey” and maintains that if we ever meet she would walk the other way pretending that she didn’t know me. There are a few other problems Miss “C” has with me but this is mostly to do with the fact I need a haircut, my glasses are old and I am getting fat because my exercise routine is getting rather lax.