The Angry Andreaa Show #32

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Angry Andreaa Show17 Comments

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Hiya Toasters, am back from me holibobs so Davidd said I had to tell yas all about it. So I went to Turkey again because I have been goin there for years and I know loads of people there. The only problem was a Hurricane decided to come on its holiday to Turkey too. I cant remember its name so I have been calling it Hurricane Sally. It lasted for about three days where it was really windy and it was raining and thundering too. I bloody hate thunder it scares the life out of me. When I told Davidd about it he said I needed a Thunder Buddy to get me through it.

There wasnt really much to do when the weather was shit cos of Sally so it was just another excuse to drink and get pissed. Not that I needed an excuse cos we was there for ten days and I spent all ten nights pissed and all ten days hungover. I went with me mate Zoe and we met these two lads while we were there. So this one night we went back to theres and just as we were getting all cozy and having a little snoggin sess was the minute I decided to throw up everywhere — all over his house! I did try and get to the loo in time but it just wasnt happenin. Yusuf was a babe though and even cleaned most of it up.

So this one day we went horse-riding or trekking or whatever they called it and my horse hated me. We were climbing up a mountainside and then going down the other side where there was a flooded river because of Sally. We were wading through the river and they told us that it wasnt that deep but it was. The water was getting higher and higher so even me moo moo was getting wet. Then something spooked all the horses. They started rearing and trying to throw everyone off. My horse just jumped in the air, spun round a couple of times and threw me off into the water. I had to wade out of the water before I drowned. The wranglers managed to round the horses up and we all headed back to the hotel — I was soaked through and couldnt wait to get back so I could get changed.

When we got back to the hotel I went to me room to get changed. I walked all the way through the hotel which was pretty much crowded and up in the lift with this family and into my room. It was when I was taking my clothes off that I noticed I was covered in horse shit. Everyone in the hotel I had passed on the way to me room must of thought I was a right meff covered in shit!

That Dress!

That Dress!

So this other night I decided to put this dress on that I had bought for me holibobs. It was really low cut at the front and doesnt leave much to ya imagination. If ya lean forward you could see right inside the dress and because it was cut low at the back too ya couldnt wear a bra with it. So I bought some nipple covers in England and took them out there with me. I wore them this night with the dress so that no one got an eye full or that was the plan anyway.

The bar we were in was doing two-for-one on shots so we were getting well hammered. Zoe was telling Yusuf about me nipple covers and him and his mates was pure taking the piss. I was pissed by then so I took them out of me dress for a laugh and Yusuf grapped them off me and was throwin them round the club. Next thing ya know they had disappeared and no one knew where they were. The main problem was that this day it was not very warm in the club cos Sally had only just fucked off.

So theres me walking round this club with nipples like JCB starter buttons!

While we was in this club I tried smoking a Hookah which is like a kind of Sheesha Pipe and Zoe took photos and posted them all over Facebook. So as soon as I got back I got murderized by my uncle and me grandad for being a naughty girl. Its a good job they never knew about all the lads and other stuff that went down on that holiday!

So I got back late on Friday night and had to go back to work on Saturday. Just in time for a 36 cage delivery and all the loonies in Liverpool to see The Giants!

I never stopped all day. Think I need another holiday!

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About the Author

The Bearkeeper

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!


17 Comments on “The Angry Andreaa Show #32”

  1. You know when your dog does that , having a shite manoeuvre ? But when you pick up the afor mentioned shite with your poo bag , it’s stone cold . And you only have one poo bag . And then he has a real shite in front of the park dog walking society ? And they all look at you .

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