The Angry Andreaa Show #34

Posted by Andreaa on
Category: Angry Andreaa Show22 Comments

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Hiya Toasters && am sorry I never wrote yas an Angry Show the other week but have been in pain…. I keep gettin these horrible pains down me arm && then it ends up goin down me legs too && I keep gettin like dead tired too…. Me Mum has fibromyalgia so am hopin its not that…. It gives ya headaches && like feeling numb in ya hands && feet…. It can make ya have problems with ya memory too – they call that a “fibro fog”…. Me Mum has that because we started thinking she was getting dementia like me grandad but then the doctor said it was part of the fibromyalgia…. I dont think I have had memory problems but I cant really remember…. Hahaha that was one of Davidds jokes the mad kunt!!

So anyways, Davidd said I can do me Angry Show when am in the mood && if I dont feel like doin it then leave it.. Awww he can be a little babe sometimes yanoo..

So to cheer meself up have booked me holidays for next year.. Am goin to Turkey again in May && July which is boss coz I will only be back for about six weeks && then I will be off on me travels again.. This time though I want to have a baby && Turkish babies are dead cute so I might get Yusuf to do the dirty deed like.. Davidd said am skatty && that if I get pregnant to a Turk they will just fuck me off as soon as they find out about the baby.. Am not arsed about that though cos I dont want a man I just want a baby.. Me mum said it was a great idea && she will look after it while am at work.. Am not sure if shes being serious or just playin along but am going to call him Jaden if hes a boy but I dont know if its a girl..

Another shoplifter story for yas – except this one is not funny like.. Weve got this mad Irishman who comes into work && steals chocolate.. I dont mean a couple of bars either.. This guy empties the whole shelf into his basket && then legs it out the door.. Thats what he normally does but the other day the person working on the ciggie kiosk walked off to do something.. Lucky I wasnt workin or I would of fuckin sacked the soft mare.. She walked off && left the kiosk unmanned, never even locked the shutters over the fags.. So this Irish guy couldnt resist it && helped himself to tons of fags && then legged it.. So one of the girls hits the panic button which is only there for if someone threats ya or if someone is being violent in the store cos the coppers drop everything && come tear-arsin round.. When they found out what it was pressed for the coppers went mental..

That happened in the morning && I was working 2pm ’til 11pm, so it was all over by the time I got in.. So its all forgotten about && I just get on with me day.. So then at home time I go to set the alarm && it wont set again.. This time its because the skatty cow who was the shift manager never called the alarm company out to reset the alarm.. Its now half-eleven && I have to ring them up to get them to come && reset the alarm.. The guy on the phone said they were going to be at least an hour && I saw me bum.. I was fuming that I was going to be there again for god knows how long when it was nothing to do with me..

So the alarm man was a little babe he said do ya know where the panic button was set off.. I said no but it was probably the one in the office right next to me.. So he said have ya got a hairclip so I said yea.. So he told me how to reset the alarm using a hairclip.. It worked too.. I would make a proper little burglar me like!!

So thats all I can think of for this week.. I will try && write one for yas next week too but I will see how I feel next week.. I am just waiting for an appointment to see a specialist but I will probably be dead of natural causes by the time that comes through..

Traa xx

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About the Author

Andreaa

I Am Andreaa And I Am Havin' A Boss Time Here Writing On Da Blog && That 'Coz Davidd Is Proper Gettin' Too Old To Write && It's Doin' Me Wig In.. I Feel Proper Ashamed Da Fukin' State.. Davidd Told Me To Write Yas Little Stories About Me Life But I Said No, I Can't Write Stories But He Bullies Me Yerno.. Fuck Me I Never Even Passed Mee GCSE English So This Is Gonna Be Shite!!


22 Comments on “The Angry Andreaa Show #34”

  1. The veterinarian called me yesterday, “Your wife’s here with your cat. She’s very sick and so I called you to ask if it would be okay to euthanise her?”

    “No problem,” I said, “I think the cat knows the way home.”

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