Davidd woz laughing && said I was nearly as thick as Granny but I said hang on Ive got another one for yaa here that proves am thicker than Granny..
The other week I took me mum shoppin to the Asda && got a puncture on me car.. So I stopped off at a tyre place to get it fixed && the fella said go && take a seat in the waiting room, we will have it done in a jiffy.. When we was sittin in the waiting room me mum said its a bit of a dive this place, I hope they make a good job of it like.. So I said to her mum, I think they are dead good here yanoo.. They have got a bath in the corner so they obviously clean ya tyres for yaa when they finish.. I think thats dead good.. Me mum had to tell me that it was to look for air bubbles so they could find the puncture.. I must admit when I realised I did feel a bit of a tit like but worser was that me mum told the tyre fella && he was pissin himself too..
I think I only drive so that I can keep mechanics && tyre fitters entertained yanoo..
Another time a fella came in the shop where I work && asked me if our chickens that we sell were male of female && I didnt know..
Another time someone asked if we sold cumin seeds (I know ya say it like cue-min) so I shouted out all over the shop if we had any cum-in seeds.. Everyone thought I was being rude!!
Its not always funny though working in there.. One day our security guard (the good one, not the skatty one) said this guy was putting steak && coffee in his bag && not in the shopping basket && he reckoned he was goin to do a runner with it.. Just as he was tellin me the fella must have sussed that we was on to him && he started running for the door.. Security man took off after him && I legged it down the end aisle to cut him off at the door.. We both grabbed him before he could get away && ragged him all over getting the stuff back off him..
He started kickin off sayin that we have taken our stuff back so he wanted his bag back.. I told him to fu*k off, am keepin it && if he wants it back he can go && report us to the police.. Couldnt be arsed gettin the cops because he would just have said his basket was full so he put it in his bag but he was still going to pay for it.. So then we kicked him out the shop..
A week later the bag was still there in the office && I was fedup of looking at it so I said to the security man we may as well just throw that in the bin, hes not comin back now.. So he said I better just check it && see whats in it first.. So as hes checkin through the bag && he finds a big needle && syringe with brown like fluid still in it.. Good job he was there because I would of just thrown it in the bin without thinkin && our cleaner could of got stabbed with it!!
Some people are just scum!!