The Toilets Of The Wirral #5

Posted by Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc on
Category: Local Stuff29 Comments

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Today we are continuing our highly entertaining (and hilarious for some) feature which I feel must go down as one of the most exhilarating series we have ever posted here on Jammy Toast. I think we had just better warn anyone who has a heart condition, or who is easily excitable, to just take this slowly and do not read/view this post all at once. Over-excitement could result if you consume this little post too quickly – I would also recommend sitting down. Now, as many of you know, Razzi and I teach people to drive around the Wirral and one of the draw-backs to this is when we need an emergency wee-wee. Public Toilets around the Wirral a very few and far between. So today, we are continuing our feature where we introduce you to the wonderful toiletry arrangements offered by the Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council

Last month we featured the toilets at Meols and told you of the guy who is a bit of a slacker. The Caretaker in charge of Meols toilets hardly ever opens them because he sees it as a total inconvenience to actually turn up and open them up to the public. Well, just along the road from Meols toilets are Hoylake toilets and, would you believe it, the same guy is responsible for these toilets. If you look at the picture of the toilet block above you will notice a white van parked in the road, outside the toilets. Well, that is only Inconvenience Guy’s van. That is a pretty rare picture because on that day he had obviously turned up for work and opened the toilets!

Those of you with a good memory may remember that we actually visited this toilet a while back and there sitting in the toilet bowl was a White Poop Floater. It reminded me of the 1970s when many dogs produced white poop because of the high levels of calcium in dog food back in those days. However, white poop in humans is caused by a lack of bile, which may indicate a serious underlying problem. Bile is a digestive fluid produced by the liver and stored in the gallbladder. Poop gets its normal brownish colour from bile, which is excreted into the small intestine during the digestive process. So white poop might be the sign of a liver or gallbladder problem.

I hope no one is eating their tea while reading this!

The toilets at Hoylake are pretty nasty, mostly because they are old and dilapidated. If it is not an emergency wee-wee, I would not recommend visiting these toilets. And personally, I would not sit on any of these toilet seats for a gold clock!

Oh well, maybe we will have better luck next month?

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About the Author

Lord Bearkeeper OBE DASc

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving Renault Bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for his beloved bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!

29 Comments on “The Toilets Of The Wirral #5”

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