Over the years we have been accused of exaggerating the truth or even completely making up some of the stories we tell, but I swear this story is true. A burglar was caught after he had sex with a teddy bear while raiding a shed. Police discovered his DNA inside the toy after they found a hole cut in the bear. Paul Mountain, 38, said he was coming down from amphetamines and felt an “overwhelming need” for sexual relief, the Lancashire Telegraph has reported. It is believed he cut the hole in the poor, defenceless bear before getting down to business.