Pot Noodle’s Say #8

Posted by Pot Noodle on
Category: Pot Noodle's Say46 Comments

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Girls, do you think you know your old fella quite well? You know his favourite film, you’ve bought his favourite lager for him, and you’ve done that thing with his balls that he likes (you little dirt, am onto yooz). Thing is, you’ve never truly seen your fella untill you’ve watched him watch football. Every normal lad watches football in Liverpool, if he doesn’t, its all over. Be arsed with him, sittn there watching Scrapheap Challenge and thinking its fuckin boss. So really, you should take some comfort from the fact your fella watches togger, he’s normal and scouse if he does. Obviously, its got to either be Everton or Liverpool — any other team is a wool team. So if he starts saying some bollocks like “I think tranmere will be promoted again this season,” or “You should come and watch a Bury match with me one day,” its all over. Just put your coat on and bail. He’ll only moan and give you shit about supporting a team from liverpool anyway and whos got time for all that shit? Also, don’t accept the idea that your fella is alright coz he supports Liverpool, but he’s from Bury. Sorry, that doesn’t make your situation any better. A wools a wool. Soz!

There Was No Uncle Joe!

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Davidd's Doodles52 Comments

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As regular followers of Jammy Toast will know, we are great fans of Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls. We even awarded the sweets a Bear Paw Seal of Approval back in 2016. Well it turns out the makers of the boiled sweets have been undertaking an investigation into the true identity of their Uncle Joe mascot only to discover that he didn’t actually exist. The traditional mints first made in the kitchen of a Victorian terraced house 125 years ago, features a friendly faced man dressed in a top hat and tails on their tin. Originally it was believed the man was a relative of the Santus family who first made the mints for miners in Lancashire. Now, after years of research, managing directors John Winnard, 62, and his brother Antony, 60, have discovered that there was no Joseph in the Santus family.

Telly Favourites #38

Posted by Erik 'The Hat' Bear on
Category: Favourite Telly47 Comments

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Today we are continuing our series of posts on our favourite telly shows of the past. As you all know, the bears love their telly and there is nothing they love more than finding a character they can love to love… or even love to hate. The bears don’t usually go for the clean-cut, heroic types they are more likely to identify with the slackers of society, people like Frank Gallagher, Jim Royle or Homer Simpson. They like programmes which are “off the wall” although occasionally they will enjoy serious drama if it is interesting and well written. Today, we are featuring

Bear Music #134

Posted by Flat Eric on
Category: Music43 Comments

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There is nothing we love more here at Jammy Toast than listening to some of our favourite tunes. From time to time we will post a music video from an artist or genre that we think will be enjoyable to you; our friends. We often feature music that you may not have come across before, or music that maybe you just missed the first time around. Try and listen with an open mind, you never know, you may find something you can add to your iPod. If you have any music videos you would like us to feature then drop us a line – we are always happy to listen to requests but we cannot promise to feature everyone’s favourite

Rutger Hauer Dies Aged 75

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Film & Television46 Comments

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Everyone at Jammy Toast – except for Razzi – was heartbroken to hear of the death of actor Rutger Hauer the other day. The actor died in the Netherlands on Friday after a short illness. Hauer most famously played the murderous replicant Roy Batty in Blade Runner, alongside Harrison Ford, but at Jammy Toast we will always remember him for the role of serial killer John Ryder in The Hitcher. In the film a young man escapes the clutches of a murderous hitch-hiker only to subsequently be stalked by the hitcher and framed for his crimes. Whenever he is in a car since, Razzi always checks the mirror to make sure Rutger isn’t following us.

Talking Shit #165

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
Category: Open Day/Talking Shit51 Comments

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Today we are going to ask everyone who visits Jammy Toast to just “Talk Shit” for the day. We ask that anyone who visits Jammy Toast leaves a comment on just about any subject they choose. Funny or sad, true or false, real or fake; we don’t give a shit as long as it is entertaining and doesn’t really hurt anyone. We ask you to do this because we are too busy to think of anything else to post – hopefully everyone will like the freedom to whine and bitch. The rules are pretty simple to explain – basically, anything goes!

The Andreaa Angel Show #69

Posted by Andreaa Angel on
Category: Andreaa Angel Show48 Comments

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So the shit has finally hit the fan at work.. Our manager was off the other day so our area-manager turned up with two fellas from head office with him.. The area-manager asked me if i would open the safe for him but i told him i couldn’t because Paul, the other manager, keeps the key to himself && doesn’t let anyone in it.. So they took me in the office && said that the store had been flagged up because of the amount of cash kept on the premises was so much.. He told me there was about £28,000 in the safe && it was obviously a risk keeping that much money in store && did i know why.. I told him that i didn’t && that paul deals with the cash side of things && wont even let me into the safe.. So they rang him up && more or less warned him he had to come into the store there && then..