These days I am a sad and lonely old man who suffers from a terrible form of Personification Synaesthesia. Put simply, this is a neurological condition where a personality or emotion is attributed to an object by a sufferer. In my case, this means that I have over three hundred teddy bears who all have a personality of their own. Before you go and look that up on Google, yes, it is a real thing and yes, it is a form of autism. I have my own “ism”!
Why do I have all those bears, you may ask. Because, over the years, I have suffered from a huge amount of sadness and anxiety for teddy bears who end up in charity shop windows or unwanted on eBay. I have a teddy bear, Bimbo, who was bought for me on the day I was born. I still have him to this day and I would never think of parting with him and, furthermore, I can’t understand people who get to a certain age and then put away childish things.
As I write this, I can feel the sadness welling up inside me for the world’s unwanted teddy bears. Why is this? Surely these bears do not have any feelings? So, it must be me that is feeling these emotions. I just don’t understand people who discard a possession when it no longer pleases them. How free from worry must that feel?
So why do I feel so deeply for my bears? I think I tend to invest my emotions in inanimate bears rather than people. If I am honest, I don’t even like most people. Could this be the reason that things become my closest friends.