Andreaa’s Diary #10

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Andreaa's Diary60 Comments

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Our Luna Is Not The Best House Dog In The World.. If Someone Knocks On Our Door The Worst She Does Is Sigh Cos They Woke Her Up.. So Lately We Hve Been Wonderin Why She Is Barkin At The Back Door All The Time.. She Barks, We Open The Door Cos We Think She Wants To Go Out For Her Business && She Just Runs Out Growlin && Snarling.. There Is Nothin There Though.. I Hve Been Out With Her, Me Mum Has Been Out With Her && Gary Has Been Out With Her.. None Of Us Can See What She Is Barkin At Or What Has Upset Her.. The Fireworks Was My First Thought Bt They Hve Been Finished For Weeks Now.. There Is Not Even The Odd Stray One That Ya Get For Days After Bommy Night.. When She Comes Back Inside After Bein Out It Is Lyk She Is On Edge Too.. So Somethin Is Upsettin Her.. Gary Has Even Hidden In The Garden Waitin For Luna To Kick Off && Then When She Does He Would Be In The Perfect Spot To See What It Was.. Except When She Did Kick Off, He Couldnt See A Thing.. Davidd Even Said It Might Be The Sock Robbers Bt Hes Just A Tw*t!!

One Night She Wouldnt Eat Her Food && Just Wanted To Go Outside.. We Put Her Food Outside So That She Might Eat It Bt She Was Havin None Of It.. We Forgot All About Her Food && The Bowl Stayed Outside All Night.. Next Morning, The Bowl Was Empty.. Me Mum Said Its Probably A Fox Thats Been Hangin Round The House && Luna Can Either Smell It Or Hear It.. She Was Definately Round The Bowl The Next Mornin Sniffin It, So Somethin Had Been At It..

Next Night Luna Ate Her Dinner Okay Bt Just Before Bed Time I Put Some Food Outside, Turned All The Lights Off Lyk I Was Goin To Bed && Sat In The Back-Kitchen Lookin Out The Window In The Dark.. No One Frm Outside Would Be Able To See Me.. It Only Took About Ten Minutes && Then There It Was.. A Big, Black Cat Who Was Obviously Homeless Cos It Was Starvin Hungry.. I Quietly Opened The Back Door Bt It Was Too Sly For That && Legged It.. I Sat Outside Waitin For It To Come Back Throwin Bits Of Food In The Same Direction It Had Scarpered In.. It Wasnt Long Before He Was Back, Lookin For The Food.. He Saw Me && Just Sat There Starin At Me.. I Threw Food At Him && He Came Forward Slightly && Ate It.. I Kept Throwin More && More Food At Him Bt Not Quite As Far Each Time So That He Would Hve To Move Closer && Closer Towards Me.. There Was A Limit Though && When He Reached It He Wouldnt Come Any Closer..

I Waited A Couple Of Nights Without Feedin Him, So That He Would Be Good && Hungry && Then Went Outside Again With A Bowl Of Food.. This Time I Didnt Throw The Food At Him I Just Shook The Dish.. He Appeared && Was Starin At Me As If To Say, “Youre Not Playin The Game Here..” I Had A Fork With Me && I Started Minchin The Food Up.. I Dont Know Bt I Am Guessin A Cats Sense Of Smell Is As Good As A Dogs, So The Cat Would Smell The Food.. Eventually He Started Movin Towards Me, So Slowly.. When He Got Close Enough I Stretched My Arm Out With Some Food On The Fork.. He Legged It..

Took Me Ages Coaxin Him Towards Me && Although He Took His Time I Could Eventually Feed Him With One Hand && Stroke His Head With My Other Hand.. He Looked Quite Clean && In Good Condition Considerin He Was A Stray.. He Was Just A Little Underweight && He Had The Tip Of One Of His Ears Missing.. Ive Got To Admit That Davidd Is One Clever Bastid.. He Said The Cat Has Been A Stray All His Life && When I Asked How He Knew That He Said That The Animal Charities Round Up Stray Cats && Neuter Them To Stop More Unwanted Kittens.. So They Know Which Cats Hve Been Neutered, They Snip Off The Top Of A Cats Ear After Performin The Operation.. That Way They Know Not To Bother Roundin That One Up Again.. Davidd Said He Learned That Frm A Feral Cat Who Lives On An Allotment In Birmingham Called Robert.. I Thought That Was Dead Clever..

I Hve Now Been Feedin Him For Two Weeks && He Comes Into The Kitchen With Luna Locked In The Other Room.. We Hve A Little Chat && He Eats His Dinner && Drinks Some Milk.. At First He Used To Eat The Lot && Then He Was Off.. Now He Stays A Bit && Has A Stroke && Even A Little Cuddle.. Hes Not Quite A Domesticated Cat Yet Bt I Do Love The Bones Of Him.. He Is So Handsome, He Looks Just Lyk A Little Black Panther..

I Hve Tried Havin Gary && Me Mum In The Kitchen When He Comes In Bt He Wont Come In When They Are There Yet.. I Think He Will When He Gets Used To Them Bein There..

I Think I Hve Got Myself A Cat..

Traa xx

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..


60 Comments on “Andreaa’s Diary #10”

  1. Just had yet another Facebook friend request… no mutual friends, a glamorous bird profile pic and a DM with the message: “Hey there”.

    Should I accept?

  2. got my nails back on and now ive got to learn to type again and scrolling through twitter is like russian roulette. if ive liked a tweet calling you a fat shit im sorry.

  3. I’m not too sure what Dorothy said to Barbara but he didn’t look very happy about it. She might not have even said anything, but just given him ‘the Look’. That’s enough to make anyone scared. Barbara’s a sweet boy, I felt sorry for him.

  4. Rolf report 4 Dec

    My humans come prepared for my “training” walks to campus (they’re training me to walk home on my own via the southern passage, a safer route). I expect a shoulder ride most of the way there so they bring my cat rucksack for me to perch on in comfort.

    Rolf x

  5. We love Dad’s Army… 9pm Channel 5 this coming Sunday, I was interviewed for 2+ hours and thoroughly enjoyed every minute. I bet a minute is all they end up using too! I wonder what happens to the leftover bits?

  6. 54-years-old and still going out getting pissed and acting the fool like I did at 24… Fucking brilliant! I hope I’m still doing it when I’m 84.

  7. It’s 2020 and we’re not allowed to ask people their gender when using our toilets but we are to ask them their postcode and how many households they are from before letting them in.

  8. I am waiting patiently for story time today, it is one of my favourite parts of the day as I often get to sneak onto the teachers lap while she is reading.

  9. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… four colly birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

    I always thought they were calling birds… ate them anyway.

  10. Been a very strange week to say the least but I’m so looking forward to Gogglebox tonight for a good laugh. Hope everyone is safe and well, sending big love and hugs X

  11. Happy Jelly Belly Friday friends. I’m flashing my floof by way of apology to the Head Teacher after I meowed for my Friday fish then refused to eat it – only to return after it had been binned to scratch at the bin & meow for my fish again.

    She says I’m a diva, cheek!

  12. Is it me or are haircuts for men these days a needlessly over complex affair… and half of them look fucking stupid.

    …I’m glad I’m almost a slap head.

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