One Story He Told Me Used To Make Me Scared Because If The Story Had Ended Slightly Different, Then Me Mum && All Us Kids Would Never Have Even Been Born.. Durin The War, He Was In Holland Chasin The Germans The Fukk Out Of The Country.. When They Had Saved Holland From The Germans Though, Ya Still Had To Watch Out Because The Germans Had Left Snipers Behind To Try && Kill Ya.. So All The Army Lads Had To Be Careful When They Was Outside Of Their Camp..
One Night Me Granddad && His Mate Were Given The Night Off && Allowed To Go Into Town && Have A Beer.. Me Granddad && His Mate Though Decided To Go To This Dance Hall Because Me Granddad Always Loved Music && Dancin.. When I Was A Kid He Used To Know All The Songs That I Listened To && I Never Knew How He Learned Them Bt He Always Knew The Words && Would Sing Along To Songs Like Bruno Marrs && That.. So This Night He Went To The Dance Hall && He Was Dancin With These Local Dutch Girls.. Me Nan Said He Was A Tart Even In Them Days Bt Me Granddad Said He Couldnt Wait To Get Back Home To Be With Me Nana To Be Honest Bt It Was Nice To Forget The War Just For One Night..
Me Granddad Was Gettin On With This Dutch Girl && They Had Loads Of Dances && When The Dance Had Finished He Said He Would Walk Her Home So That She Was Safe.. So Me Granddad && His Mate Walked This Girl && Her Mate Home && Dropped Them Off.. Me Granddad Even Admitted To Me Nana That He Did Give Her A Little Kiss Bt It Was Just On The Cheek.. I Dont Think Me Nana Believed Him Lyk..
When They Had Dropped The Girls Off They Were Walkin Back To Camp Havin A Chat && Me Granddads Mate Got His Cigarettes Out && Offered Me Granddad One Bt He Said No Because His Throat Was Too Dry, He Needed A Drink.. His Mate Lit His Cigarette As They Walked Down This Country Road Leadin Bak To Their Camp.. As Soon As The Flame From His Lighter Lit Up His Face…
Bang!!
A Bullet Hit Me Granddads Mate Right In The Head && He Fell Down Dead On The Spot.. Me Granddad Took Cover Bt No More Bullets Were Fired.. He Managed To Get Back To Camp && Told His Sergeant-Major What Had Happened.. Me Granddad Took The Sergeant-Major && Some Soldiers To Were His Mate Was Shot && They Brought His Body Back To Be Buried..
Me Granddad Smoked All His Life Bt Luckily It Never Did Him Any Harm But It Would Of Done That Night!! I Always Thought If He Had Taken A Fag Off His Mate He Might Of Been The One To Be Shot.. Then He Would Have Been Buried In A Hole In Holland && None Of Us Would Be Here Today.. Cos Obviously Me Granddad && Me Nan Had Me Mum, Two Aunties && Three Uncles && All The Kids That They All Had.. None Of Us Would Have Been Here If Me Granddad Was Shot That Night..
Makes Ya Fuckin’ Think!!
Traa xx
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65 Comments on “Andreaa’s Diary #11”
I bet my granddad was a bigger hero than your granddad.
Time ripples they are called. If something happens years ago then the things that affects ripples through time like ripples on water.
Is it Grandad or Granddad?
Hahaha I bet your Nana gave him a kick for going dancing.
Kiss on the cheek, my arse!!
Your Granddad’s mate’s loss was our gain. We got Andreaa to write us stories.
I think in British English the spelling “grandad” is more popular than “granddad”, however American English, the spelling “granddad” is more popular than “grandad”. But both are correct, apparently.
It does make you think. If everyone who died in the war had two kids and those kids had two kids and on and on forever. How many people died during the war would end up as trillions.
Awwwww bless him. I never knew my granddad.
Talking of acts of heroism, I’ve had a haircut today. I need a lie down.
I always remember my Gramps for always saying “turn off that fucking immersion, will ya”.
Fitness Tip: Take your dog outside and let him run around with your FitBit on his collar.
Oh my god even his names Stephen Henry Bear hahahahaha sounds like an Aldi version of Paddington Bear!
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans-a-swimming, 6 geese-a-laying, 5 gold rings, 4 colly birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a peartree.
Lord leaped on a hen; feathers everywhere!
Joe Anderson can afford to take unpaid leave from his job and live off all the backhanders he’s been getting… corrupt fuck!
The only good thing about winter is chilly nipples!
Why do dog farts smell so fucking bad? Smelly little bastid!
Just thinking about my nans mate telling me her entire family has beans on toast for Christmas dinner bc nobody can be assed cooking. Valid.
Remember at the very start of COVID there was videos of people in China all infected on the streets like suttin off Resident Evil?
See that fella that doesn’t watch porn as it’s degrading to females and exploits them…
He’s a sexist kunt!
Sod this! I’m off for a chat with The Arabs!
I haven’t heard Wham – Last Christmas at all this month. Is this good fortune or have I gone deaf not noticed?
So, I tried to put my cats in Christmas jammies.
The Doctors say I’ll probably be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
If you Do Not want to look like a Complete Twat because you Can’t agree a Deal after you told everyone you had an Oven Ready deal, Do Not tell people you have an Oven Ready deal before you have agreed any deal like a Complete Twat.
Oven Ready Advice there.
I’m constantly finding myself blocked by people I have never in my life interacted with which is rude considering I’m an angel at all times who is also tiny and innocent!
Could France not just have the fish on weekends and school holidays?
Hmmf shfmh mm hhf ghbbh
Dhhm fmh hh mfhgh ehhmn
~Christmas Caroling Singing through a face mask!
I used to sit next to Noddy Holder at school. The teacher was always catching him eating snacks. One day she snapped and shouted, “What are you eating now?”
Noddy replied, “IT’S CRISPS MISSSSSS!”
84 y.o. British man getting the vaccine so he can spend Christmas with his wife of 62 years in a care home “until now, Christmas was a dream away.”
I’M SOBBING TAKE THE GODDAMN VACCINE!!
It’s 6 AM, I’m up and I think I’ll use this time to go jogging, hit the gym and lie on the internet!
Where is Shelly? Thats all Im gonna say!!
I’m starting to think there really must be a strategy – to embrace chaos and keep the population in a high state of anxiety…
Mad the way people go akip at like 10bells far too early for me that only old people that get up at half 5 in the morning to race the shop for the paper do that.
What a legend Barbara Windsor was. Even though she wouldn’t let any of us fly into the Queen Vic. A true icon.
#GetOuttaMyPub
hhooaahh ooo ooaoghao ooaoaah ooooho
Rolf report 11 Dec
Yesterday I visited the campus Christmas tree. It’s magnificent with such interesting smells. I undertook a full patrol of its base then went round again, just in case. Just because it’s nearly Christmas, I can’t reduce my exacting patrolling standards.
Rolf x
Happy Fish for tea Friday, wishing you all a stupendous day!
After a fuckin’ wet night for many, persistent fuckin’ rain lingers in many eastern areas right now with hit and miss fuckin’ showers in the west.
James James
Morrison Morrison
Weatherby George Dupree
Took great
Care of his Mother,
Though he was only three.
James James
Said to his Mother,
“Mother,” he said, said he;
“You must never go down to the end of the town,
if you don’t go down with me.”
Here’s a photo of the campus Christmas tree in all its magnificence. Happy Christmas to all my wonderful campus friends. Thank you for everything you do to look out for me and keep me safe. I hope you can all stay safe too.
Rolf X
I’m braving town today if anyone wants a fite.
I joined Gloria Glover and Janet for a little snack of Lick-e-Lix. It’s so delicious and the best thing is that it’s easy for GG to eat. She hasn’t got many teeth and things like Dreamies are difficult for her. It’s so good to have friends to share treats with.
Never 2 early 2 blaze a spliff -\l/-
Why is moisturising your own back so difficult? My skin is so dry and itchy and now I look like a demented octopus trying to get some relief.
Dame Barbara was so special and I am truly proud to have known her. Thoughts are with Scott who loved and looked after her so much… The last of a phenomenal cast. I bet they’re already filming Carry On Heaven.
It’s piano tuning day today. Such a skill… which is why I’m not doing it but will watch Andrew Giller wave his magic in-between making the tea!
So, I’m a Prof. I have a PhD and a clutch of honorary doctorates from a range of eminent universities. I have written eleven books. I am working on my twelfth. But I still spent THREE HOURS searching for the tree lights yesterday evening – in the loft, in the shed, having completely forgotten that I’d already got that particular box down two days ago, so the children could decorate their rooms.
Everyone was very understanding.
The rumour that Uncle Buck is showing on the Birkenhead Vue Big Screen this morning is fake news!
Remembering our friend Peter Firmin, who was born on this day in 1928!
Gooood morning Razzbox!
Today is Christmas Jumper Day and the little people are all looking fab and festive. We are hoping to raise funds for Save The Children.
am in no mood for anyones messing today. so think on!
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 11 pipers piping, 10 lords-a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans-a-swimming, 6 geese-a-laying, 5 gold rings, 4 colly birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a peartree.
Ate birds to pipe music.
Was it mandatory every child born before 1995 who was named Sarah had to have the middle name Louise?
Is TIME doing a bird of the year category?
Sushi is Japanese for ‘broken oven’.
I’ve just seen Naga Munchetty having a fag. I didn’t imagine she smoked for some reason but then again she does read the news, I’m surprised she didn’t have a bottle of vodka too!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Neil.
Neil who?
Neil down and feed this cat!
New film coming next year. Indiana Jones and The Cardiac Arrest!
Nonces can’t be rehabilitated. They really don’t need to exist!
The R rate is up. Shut the gyms!
Me mams just text me to say she didn’t realise how broad my shoulders are and idk what to say to that!
Just got my lips done by a lovely lady and I 100% didn’t need them, but filler is good for my soul
Seeing a dogs head sticking out of a car window really does make my day!!
I swear to god I can not wait to be out my tits later doing head spins on my mates kitchen floor X