Me && Gary Are Quite Chilled About It, Its Everyone Else Who Is Gettin In A Panic.. I Think Davidd Is Watchin The Birth Channel On Sky If There Is Such A Thing.. Every 10 Minutes I Get A Text Off Him Sayin Dont Do This && Make Sure Ya Do That Cos He Has Heard It On Some Programme Or Other, Or Its Been On The News.. Its Great That He Cares && Tha Bt Fuckinell, Chill Mate!!
Anyways, I Was Readin Davidds Story The Other Day About Granny Gettin Two Turkeys && It So Reminded Me Of Me Mum.. Thats The Sort Of Thing She Would Do When She Gets Panicked.. I Thinkk I Told Yas Once Before About A Story When I Got Me Mum Stoned Bt When I Searched To Find The Story I Couldnt Find It So Maybe I Didnt Tell Yas.. So I Will Tell Yas Now Instead.. I Wont Name Any Names Incase The Bizzies Are Readin It Bt Me Mates Brother Makes Brilliant Space Cakes.. She Asked Me If I Wanted Any && Obviously I Said Yes.. She Gave Me Some Bt Said Be Careful Cos He Made A Mistake With How Much He Put In The Cakes.. Normally He Puts A Tenners Worth In Bt This Time He Put A Quarter In So They Was Dead Strong.. I Was In Work For A Few Days So I Didnt Want To Have Them On A Night When I Was In Work The Next Morning.. Lorah && Me Used To Be Quite Bad Stoners && I Didnt Want To Go Back To Doin It When I Was Goin To Be In Work.. I Took Them Home && Put Them In My Room, Bt I Hid Them So That The Kids Couldnt Find Them && Next Mornin I Went Off To Work..
Now Me Mum Is A Little Angel && Decided To Do Me Washin For Me While I Was At Work.. She Goes Into My Room && Gets All My Washin Together && Finds My Cakes.. My Mum Is A Bigger Munchie Than Davidd, So She Decides To Raid The Cakes.. With All The Stuff In Them I Would Probably Only Have Eaten Half A Cake Or Maybe Just One At The Most.. Not My Mum, She Decides To Eat Them Both Together With A Cup Of Tea..
After Work I Drive Home && Theres No One In.. No Sign Of Anyone Anywhere.. I Text Our Danielle Who Only Lives Round The Corner In Case Me Mum Is Round At Hers.. Danielle Says She Hasnt Seen Her All Day.. Same With Our Vicki.. Me Mums Mate Hadnt Seen Her Either; No One Knew Where She Was Or Where She Had Gone..
Half An Hour Later, Our Danielle Turns Up To See If I Have Found Her.. I Told Her That No One Knows Where She Has Gone && She Runs Up The Stairs For A Wee Before We Start A Full-Blown Search.. Two Minutes Later I Hear Her Shout Down, “Andreaa, Shes Here!!” I Run Up The Stairs && Theres Me Mum Lyin On The Bathroom Floor Covered In Her Own Sick.. She Is Out Cold!!
Me && Danielle Try Liftin Her Bt We Were Gettin Nowhere, So I Ring Vicki && Tell Her To Get Her Fat Arse Round To Ours.. It Took The Three Of Us To Lift Me Mum Up.. Me && Vicki At The Top && Danielle Liftin Her Feet.. We Managed To Drag Her Into Her Bedroom, Get Her On The Bed && Then Try && Wake Her Up..
Eventually She Comes Round && Says That She Feels Funny After Eatin Some Rock Cakes She Found In Me Bedroom.. I Was Lyk, “Mum, They Were Space Cakes Not Rock Cakes.. How Many Did Ya Have????”
She Told Us That She Was Feelin Peckish So She Ate Them Both.. I Explained To Her That They Were Dead Strong Cos Me Mates Brother Had Made A Mistake With How Much He Put In.. Me, Vicki && Danielle Are Pissin Ourselves Laughin Cos Me Mum Has Never Had Any Stuff In Her Life && The First Time She Tries It, All Innocently, She Goes && ODs!!
Nice One Mum!!
She Was Alright Though In The End..
Hope Yas All Have A Great Day Tomorrow && Santa Brings Ya Just What Ya Want..
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