Andreaa’s Diary #5

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Andreaa's Diary59 Comments

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This Rona Thing Is Goin To Be The Death Of One Of Us Sooner Or Later.. Barry Is Me Sister Dannielles Fella && He Has Been Finished Up Frm Work Cos Of The Virus.. So He Got A Foreigner Workin On A Site.. He Decided That What Ever Gary Can Do, He Can Do Better && Decided To Jump Off The Scaffolding.. Except He Went One Better Than Gary && Bounced Off The Scaffoldin && Landed On The Concrete Thirty Foot Below.. Am Sure Our Family Has Got A Death Wish Somewhere.. That Means Danielle Is In Trouble With No Money Comin In && Barry Is In Hospital.. Obviously Danielle Has Been Goin Up Visitin Him Bt She Has A Fight On Her Hands Cos The Hospital Dont Want Any Visitors Cos They Dont Want People Bringin The Rona In.. Never Rains Does It??

So I Was Due To Start Me New Job At Spoons This Week Except Another Job I Applied For Come Up Too.. I Know It Is Dead Cheeky Cos Spoons Hve Been Dead Good To Me Keepin Me Job Open For Two Weeks While I Was On Holiday && Then Findin Out I Had To Self-Isolate For Fourteen Days When I Got Back Bt I Got Offered Another Job At Miller & Carter Which Sounded Dead Good.. I Was Thinkin About Which One To Go For When The Passport Office Got In Touch && Offered Me A Job Too.. I Went For An Interview There Before Me Holiday.. I Didnt Lyk The Sound Of It Cos It Sounded Lyk Workin On A Production Line && Davidd Said That They Take Ya Phone Off Ya In The Mornings For Security Reasons && Its Through An Agency && He Thinks Ya Only Get The Job For Six Months..I Was Stuck I Didnt Know Wot To Do..

The Other Day I Saw A Job For A Shift Supervisor At Costa-Bloody-Bomb, The Coffee Place.. I Thought There Was Nothin To Lose So I Applied For That Too.. They Rang Me Up && Invited Me In For An Interview Straight Away.. I Had To Admit That I Had Never Used A Coffee Machine Before Bt At Spoons We Had Milks Boilers && I Knew How To Make Latte && Cappuccino Coffees Bt Obviously Not At Their Coffee Shops Cos Had Never Worked There.. The Woman Never Seemed That Impressed So I Thought That Was The End Of That Bt Then She Said That It Wouldnt Take Them Long To Show Me How To Use The Coffee Machines && It Was The Supervisory Experience I Had That They Were More Interested In.. They Really Wanted Someone That Could Run A Shift && Keep Both The Staff && The Customers Happy.. I Told Her That Was The Way I Lykd To Supervise Staff By Bein There To Help Them && Not Bullyin Them Which Was Why I Had Left My Last Job.. She Seemed Inpressed So I Didnt Know What To Think.. Time Would Tell..

Then To Confuse Matters Even More They Rang Me && Offered Me The Job.. Even Better, The Area Manager Who Rang Said They Are Openin A Costa-Bloody-Bomb In Kirkby In February Next Year && So Far They Dont Hve A Manager.. It Would Mean That Workin As A Shift Supervisor Would Give Me Experience Of The Coffee Trade && How They Work Bt Also Mean They Could Hve A Look At Me Too && Maybe I Could Apply For The Managers Job Nearer The Time Or Even Transfer My Current Role To Kirkby With Much Less Travelling For Me..

I Rang Davidd To Ask What He Thought && He Said That There Was Loads Of Talk About A New Tier 4 Comin Out && That Could Shut Down All The Pubs So I Could Get Laid Off Frm Spoons.. Coffee Shops Come Under Local Council Control && So Far Liverpool Council Hvent Closed Anythin Extra So Was Probably The Safest One Out Of All The Jobs I Was Goin For.. Plus Costa-Bloody-Bomb Can Close Their Shops && Still Serve Take-Away..

So I Said Yes To Costa-Bloody-Bomb && Now Hve Got To Ring Spoons && Appologise For Messin Them About, They Will Probably Kill Me..

Gary Has Got An Interview Too Workin For A Housin Agency Doin Building Maintenance, So I Will Let Ya Know How He Gets On With That Next Time..

Its Great Bein Out Of Self-Isolation Now Too.. Means I Can Walk Out The House When I Want Without Sneakin Out In The Dead Of Night To Walk Luna.. Can Even Meet Up With Gary Or Should I Start Callin Him Garyy Now Cos He Still Moans About Me && Davidd Havin Double Letters On Our Names.. I Said If He Doesnt Behve Himself I Would Be Cuttin Letters Off && Callin Him ‘Ga’ If Hes Not Careful..

Anyway, Hpe Ya Hve All Had A Good Week && Are Stayin Safe..

Traa xx

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..


59 Comments on “Andreaa’s Diary #5”

    1. First of all we’d like to thank everyone who sent messages of concern following our cancellation of tonight’s display above Argyle Street Wetherspoons. To those who criticised, complained or called us names – you need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

      At 17:35 today, three of our display team were injured by an aggressive seagull while trying to eat a Filet O’Fish off the pavement outside Grange Road McDonalds.

      We took the decision to cancel the display to let the injuries heal. Our priority is always the health and wellbeing of our display team. We are very sorry to the hundreds of fans who were expecting to see a show
      but we will be back.

      Thanks
      The Birkenhead Flock

  1. To the owner of the red Nissan Leaf parked outside the Balls Road Clinic. Your alarm is going off and the flock are getting VEXED. Sort it out or the American Hand Car Wash will be your first essential journey this morning.

  2. Is it too early for Christmas jokes?

    The thing i learned watching Frankenstein movies is the big bunch of angry people with the pitchforks & the torches are always chasing after the wrong guy.

  3. Good morning and welcome to freaky Friday the FC tells me it’s Halloween tomorrow and there may be ghosts lurking & not to be afraid. They don’t scare me – nothing scares me anymore as I’ve seen Fat Controller getting changed!

  4. I went to visit Sammy and Andy’s new chickens again. They are growing up quickly and made lots of noise when they saw me. They haven’t started making eggs yet, but Sammy told me that some of the eggs will be BLUE! Blue eggs! That’s very unusual, isn’t it?

  5. You find sometimes, just as you are beginning to recite poetry, that Uncle John is still telling Aunt Rose that if he can’t find his spectacles he won’t be able to hear properly, and by the time everybody has stopped looking for them, you are at the last verse.

  6. Rolf report 30 Oct

    On my daily leash walk with Dr Sherry, we had a brush with danger, in the form of passing dogs, several times. My instinct is to get high up as soon as I can. So whether it’s Sherry’s shoulder or a high wall, I reach my place of safety in a single leap.

    Rolf x

  7. Now the Hedgewatch 2020 season is almost over (the winter plays havoc with my floof) I have a new hobby, it’s called toewatch I sit under desks & watch people’s feet & pounce when they least expect it. You should hear the squeals, try it friends it’s fun!

  8. Weekend looks mostly fuckin’ shit so get supporting your local boozer or restaurant if you can whilst you still can! I’m off fuckin’ Weatherspoons to fill my face and get shitfaced.

  9. ANNOUNCEMENT: We can confirm that Steve has decided to leave the Birkenhead Flock to start a new life in Wales. We could say at this point that we will miss him, but it would be a lie. Don’t come back Steve…

    YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE!!

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