They say a bird never flies far from the nest and so it was with Chimpton. When it came time to leave home and go to university she had the whole country to choose from and where did she go? Liverpool. About four miles away from Jammy Toast. However, this was not because she couldn’t be parted from her beloved Dad, this was so she could return home every weekend and get a good pan of scouse down her and her washing done. She is not as daft as she looks. She moved into the Halls of Residence right up at the top of a clock-tower, she thought she was a Princess when in reality, with her long hair, she was in fact Rapunzel. This new series tells Chimpton’s tales from her University days…
Agood few years ago now I left Jammy Toast and set up home on my own with Eddie and a few of his bear mates. I moved into a lovely little complex with a courtyard which is situated just around the corner from the world-famous Hamilton Square. The square is filled with rather eloquent Victorian houses designed as a replica of Queen Victoria’s wedding cake with beautiful manicured lawns, rose and pansy beds not to mention Birkenhead’s picturesque Town Hall. A few years ago the problems started with shops closing, three banks closed down and generally businesses started leaving the area. The place has been sliding down hill ever since. Being so close to the shiny lights of Liverpool many more businesses upped and moved over the water leaving the Square looking empty and rather dishevelled.
Last week I was due for operation number two as operation number one didn’t exactly go to plan and my bladder went into spasm. I have been pissing through a straw ever since. This is just another example of why my middle name is Lucky! I always wonder when it comes to operations, just what condition my lady garden should be in. Ordinarily, my personal garden is kept fur free as I am not too keen on a hairy beaver. I am not sure if other girlies are the same, but when having an operation I often wonder if it is more acceptable to have some grass on the pitch. In my head I’m thinking the surgeons will be looking and thinking, “Oooh, we have a dirty girty here who is fully shaved.” I have asked a few friends and they always say they just keep their garden neat and well pruned so I start agonising over whether the surgeons and nurses think I’m filth. I do usually end up thinking that I am total filth anyway so fuck it!
Afew years ago now, a friend suggested we take a little trip to Amsterdam. Now most of you know, I have always had a fondness for the lovely herbals they specialise in within the lovely city of Amsterdam and so obviously I agreed to the trip. My brother and sister (from my Vietnamese family, not from Davidd’s adopted family) also decided to join me. The more the merrier I thought. I knew it was all going to go wrong when, on the day, my mate who had booked the whole thing missed the flight. To add to the confusion, my Vietnamese brother was drinking to excess to calm his fear of flying and then continued to drink on the flight and got completely wrecked causing havoc on the plane.
Hello everyone, I have not written anything for you for a while because I can never think of anything to write. However, I now have someone I would like to introduce to you all but alas, it is not my Prince from a kingdom far, far away. You see I have always had a liking for fury things. Animals, teddies or – heaven forbid – hairy men. As a very young boat person, I was always surrounded by pets and now, as a grown up, I have wanted my own little fury creature for as long as I can remember. For quite some time though, I have made every excuse under the sun why it wasn’t plausible for me to have my own pet.
The other day my Dad told you the story of our holiday to Portugal, so I thought I would tell you the story of our holiday to the Dominican Republic – or at least, part of it. The particular day in question my Dad had gone out on an excursion on a yacht and, as I don’t do travelling on water too well, I had stayed behind on a very hot day sipping drinks around the pool. Now before long the heat was beginning to get the better of me and, although I don’t like cold water, I just had to have a little dip in the swimming pool. Who could blame me, the weather was absolutely baking!
This week Eddie and I visited our local Health Clinic for a Well-Bear Check-Up. Eddie hasn’t been feeling himself over the past few weeks and we both thought a MOT was in order. So we took ourselves off to see a professional Bear Medic. We had a little chat with the nurse on the way in and she took down his vitals; weight, height and blood pressure. These were all fine. The nurse then started to ask a few rather probing questions, Eddie found these a little embarrassing and they were not to his liking. He gave the nurse a very hard stare at one point but she explained that asking such questions about his bowel movements were essential to try and ensure he was fit and well.