IKeep Talkin About Me Mate Lorah Bt I Have Never Told Yas How I Know Her && Stuff.. It Was Years Ago When I Was In School && I Went Into Me Classroom To Do Registration && There Was This Weird Lookin Girl Sittin Next To The Teachers Desk.. I Didnt Know Who She Was So Just Bein Funny I Asked Her If She Was Lyk The New Teacher.. She Didnt Answer Me She Just Give Me A Funny Look && Snarled Me.. I Just Thought Right F*ck You, Am Not Arsed.. Soon After Tha Our Teacher Come In && Told Everyone To Sit Down.. Then She Said That This Girl Sittin Next To Her Desk Was Lorah && She Was Comin To Our School On A Transfer.. The Only People Who Transfered To Our School Woz Because They Got Excluded From Their School So I Said, “Who Did Ya Kill To Get Excluded From Ya Old School??” Our Teacher Went Mental && Told Me To Mind Me Own Buziness So I Knew It Was True, She Was Excluded From Her Old School..
When I Was Writin About The New Egyptian Museum Thingy On Saturday, I Was Thinking That I Wouldnt Mind Being A Pharaoh.. I Remember Seeing The ‘Carry On Cleo’ Film Where Cleopatra Has A Bath In Milk && I Thought I Would Quite Like That.. These Days Though They Dont Have Pharaohs, So I Would Have To Be A Princess Or Something && They Are Just Borin.. Meghan Is Pure Crap && I Reckon Harry Will Divorce Her Before Long && Catherine Is Too Goodie-Too-Shoes.. The Only Cool Princesses I Have Known Are The Disney Ones && Princess Diana.. Bt Diana Died When I Was Only Three, So I Only Really Know Disney Princesses.. They All Had Great Lives Or If They Didnt Then They Did Once They Met Their Prince.. Even Ugly Princess Fiona Was Pretty Happy Once She Married Shrek && Lived Happily Ever After With Him && Donkey.. I Love Donkey, He Was Pretty Cool..
Forgive me, I know it is a little early to be talking about Christmas but I promise I do have a good reason. As we have thrown the old Jammy Toast away and have started over, I thought I would start right at the very beginning with my first ever childhood memory. Now, I don’t want any sniggering at the back when I relay this tale, because whenever I tell anyone that is their usual response. The first thing I can remember was at Christmas time and I was about four or five years old. I remember my Dad was at home for once, him being in the Merchant Navy he was away most of the time. So, Christmas that year was going to be a good one.