Man With Dementia Dumped

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
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Roger Curry is now living happily in a nursing home in America.

As Miss Chimpton will no doubt verify – without being prompted in many cases – I have been on this planet more years than I care to remember. During these years I have heard of many people who I can only describe as pure evil. However, I do not think I have ever come across anyone as evil and compassionless as the family of an elderly American man named Roger Curry and their accomplice, a man called Simon Hayes. In America you have to pay for health care, there is no National Health Service. So when Roger Curry became ill with dementia his family, helped by Simon Hayes, flew Mr Curry to England and abandoned him in Hereford so that he could get the medical help and care free of charge in the UK.

I Have A Subungual Hematoma

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
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Excuse the minty foot but this is my very own Subungual Hematoma!

So the other day, Chimpton Chimpy left a comment here on Jammy Toast saying I had a black toenail and it needed amputating. She always derides my ailments which are obviously serious. Whenever I get man-flu she decides – without any medical training, I may add – that it is only a cold and that I should man-up. The same is now happening with my toenail. It occurred when I went for a rather brisk walk in an old pair of trainers which I discovered, only later, were a little on the tight side. According to trained medical staff – as compared to Chimpy armed with Google – it is most likely a bruise under the toenail, technically called a subungual hematoma. I have never been so made up, I actually have a proper medical condition with a big long name – Chimpy will be furious!

A New Home For Chimpton

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
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Some of you will have noticed that Chimpton has been getting more and more agitated recently. Her Asperger’s is running out of control and her Tourette’s is getting “fooking” worse. The amount of prescribed medication she is taking has reached the level where it now has to be delivered by DHL – and she still wants more. She is also beginning to lose her slender grasp on the reality she once had under control – many years ago now. Once upon a time, Chimpton and I would make plans for Granny’s meandering wander down the path to dotage and the steps we would take when she got beyond rational help. This has now turned full-circle to the point where Granny and I are needing plans for Chimpton’s fall into the abyss of psychiatric turmoil. Basically, her cheese has now well and truly slipped off her cracker!

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Posted by The Bearkeeper on
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Afew weeks ago I went to the quacks for my annual check-up. Why they call it an “annual” check-up I have no idea because I have never had one before in my whole life. While I was there I was also asked if I had received my flu-jab yet. I told them that I hadn’t and neither had I had one any other year for that matter. I stated that I don’t like the idea of bugs being injected into my system to help my system learn to fight off the very bugs they were injecting into me. Wouldn’t it be a better idea not to get flu bugs anywhere near me in the first place, let alone through a hypodermic needle?