Houston, we have a problem. There is trouble at mill, the good ship HMS Jammy Toast has hit an iceberg – we bears are not happy. The problem is that as some of our human authors have become more popular, it has pushed us bear authors out and we don’t get a chance to post. In fact, Erik ‘The Hat’, Great Uncle Bimbo and Flat Eric are the only bears who have a chance to post at least monthly. Others – including Razzi, Edward, Egginanoo, Einstein and George – have been pushed out and only occasionally or very rarely get the chance to post anything at all. Furthermore, another one of our bears, Erika, has been asking for a chance to start her own series of posts off for some time now and every month we simple run out of days. In a nutshell, we have over forty posts/posters who want to post something every month and yet there are only around thirty days in each month.
Here at Jammy Toast we love Professor Brian Cox OBE, FRS and all the fantastic television programmes he makes about physics and astronomy – especially the Wonders of… series. He has a way of making everything he talks about clear, precise and even understandable to use non-techies. We have even tried reading a couple of his books, Why Does E=mc2 and The Quantum Universe – neither of which (just like Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time) made a bit of sense to us. So we love Brian but what does Brian think of Jammy Toast? As he works just up the road at the University of Manchester, we thought we would ask…
Some of you may have been wondering where the hell we have been after we disappeared so quickly and without much notice last weekend. As many of you would have been aware, before we vanished we had been working on restoring all our archive and classic posts – a big job in itself as we have 3,791 posts with over 70,000 comments stretching back to 2006. The frustrating part was how long the whole process was taking. Edward and I were getting through about a dozen posts a day – on a good day – checking them, replacing missing media and solving layout problems. This meant it was going to take over a year to complete. We were also being slowed down by having to write new posts and moderate comments, etc. We needed a cunning plan!
For the last few months, Edward has been hard at work collating and restoring old Jammy Toast posts. He finished most of this work last week and we are now in the process of restoring these posts to Jammy Toast. If you look on the Archives list to the right of this post (it may be down at the bottom of your screen if you are using a phone) you will notice that the archive list now stretches back to June 2006 when we first started blogging. You might also notice that in the Categories list there is a category called “Archive Post”, these old posts will also be available here if you click on it.
Iwas sitting down watching the footie last Sunday afternoon with some of the bears when there came a knock on the Jammy Toast Centre front door. Razzi went to the door to see who it was and returned moments later to announce there was some posh, old bird at the door with a crown on her wig. We are going to have to stop him mixing with Andreaa. He showed her in and there stood The Queen and Prince Charles wanting to have a little chat with me. I was shocked. I had met The Queen once before when I went to Buckingham Palace to get my OBE but I hadn’t expected Her Majesty to allow me the honour of a home visit.
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We’re going to have a problem here. ‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady. All you other Slim Shady’s are just imitating… so the song goes. Well here at Jammy Toast we don’t lie to our loyal Toasters or imitate anybody. After all you are our friends and friends just don’t lie or deceive each other but today we have to hold our hands up and admit… we have lied, we have deceived and we have imitated.
For some time now I have been looking for an Apprentice Bearkeeper to help out with the day to day chores around Jammy Toast. In particular, I wanted some help with pooper scooping around the Jammy Toast Centre. If there is one thing you cannot teach Renault Bears to do it is to poop in a toilet designed for humans. The toilets are just too high for the little guys to reach. So our bears revert to their wild fore-fathers and do it in the woods – or in our case, the trees in Birkenhead Park. Wirral Council are not amused and we have had discouraging letters from their Environmental Team already. I did put out an appeal for some help last year but we had few takers – so now I am asking again.