Lestly In The Hizzouse #27

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Last week saw the seventy-fifth International Holocaust Remembrance Day and I celebrated it – if that is the word – by watching The Holocaust in Colour, a documentary using old black and white film that has been colourized. It brought back memories of a story I heard in my youth from my mother about a woman called Hanni Bienenfeld who managed to survive Nazi occupied Europe in an unusual way. The Holocaust in Colour featured the story of a Jewish woman in Germany who survived by hiding in plain sight. She did not look Jewish and she had blonde hair which very few Jewish people have. Hanni was the same except she was born in Hungary where she worked and lived with a non-Jewish family who ran a bakery.

Lestly In The Christmas Hizzouse #26

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A young Lestly (back to camera) tries to convince Santa to part with a gift.

Hi folks, hope you all had a great Christmas and an amazing New Year, maybe some of you even had a Happy Hanukkah. For those of you who do not know, I am Jewish and was brought up in a pretty average Jewish family. Most Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas but we don’t have anything against those who do – except for one thing. You close all the shops so there is nothing for us to do. In New York pretty much the only things that are open on Christmas day are Chinese restaurants and movie theatres. Growing up I ate a lot of Chinese food and watched the odd movie over Christmas. Personally I would not have a Christmas tree up at home (I am lazy, not for religious reasons) but I do because Natalie, my roommate, insists on it – she is not Jewish.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #25

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Iknow Davidd says that Jammy Toast doesn’t do politics and so I run the risk of having this turned down for posting – again – but I think I should send it anyway. Besides, it is only political in that I am accusing them of all being as bad as each other. In fact, I am of the political ideology that says, “The desire to become a politician should be enough to ban you from ever becoming one.” Every politician I have ever heard always climbs on their soap box and tells you what they can do for the world. How they are going to make it better and if they get into office you will want for nothing. What a lying bunch of inbred bastards. Why would anyone want to become a politician when they can earn much more money working in the real world? Answer; they have found a way to cheat their way into earning even more through backhanders and under the table, that is how. Let me tell you what has brought me to this conclusion…

Lestly In The Hizzouse #24

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Growing up as a child my Mom was always overly-critical of everything I did. Nothing was ever good enough, according to her I was slap-dash and would never take care over anything I did. I guess looking back, she poured all of her hopes and desires into me because I was an only child. If I didn’t get things right then there was no one else to follow me. I think that is perhaps how she looked at things as far as her one and only, doted upon child was concerned. My Pop just went along for the ride. He was never that strong-willed where it came to Mom. Whatever she said basically went – especially where I was concerned.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #23

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Iwas brought up in a house full of Elvis Presley music. My mother was a great fan of his and had all his albums and all his films on video. When Elvis was still alive my father used to treat my mother on birthdays by taking her to Las Vegas and watching him in concert at the Las Vegas International Hotel. Our house was full of pictures and posters of Elvis to the point where I think she had more pictures of him around the place than she did of me and my father combined. I remember asking her once when I was a child who she loved more, Elvis or my father. She refused to answer saying it was a silly question because of course she loved my father. I think she dodged the question on that one.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #22

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Lester & Natalie, the murderers!

Last month I told you about how Natalie and I came to be living together and how we stole her ex-boyfriend’s cat. What I didn’t tell you was the reaction of her ex-boyfriend to losing his beloved cat. His name was Craig and he was livid with both of us. Luckily, I lived right across town from him and he had no idea where it was that I lived. We were safe… or so I thought. I told Nat to change her cell number so that he had no way of contacting her but she didn’t want the inconvenience of having to let all her family and friends know the new number and changing her contact details on everything. Craig bombarded her with calls and SMS messages.

Lestly In The Hizzouse #21

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Cleopatra and her human.

Thanks for some of the kind comments people gave me after last month’s post. Chimpton wanted a part two to the story but unfortunately there was not much more to add. Following the incident in the parking lot the last thing I wanted to do was face the lovely Yvonne again. I avoided reception that evening and then checked out early the next morning when she wasn’t there. I have never returned to Martha’s Vineyard and it is written in red ink on my list of places never to return to. In fact, if anyone wants to bomb the whole island off the face of the earth you won’t find me complaining but give the islanders a bit of notice so they can get off the island first… except for Yvonne of course!