’ve got two kids, a five-year-old and a two-year-old and I’m a stay at home dad. The wife comes home from work at half-five and all I get is, “You haven’t done the dishes.” I’m like, “F*ck off, you little snake!” She hasn’t got a clue what I have been up to all day, the stuff I have to go through. It was half-term a few weeks ago and by the end of it I was ready to volley one the c*nts through the f*cking window. I just can’t handle them. I can’t take them anymore. To be fair, the five-year-old I’m starting to get onboard with him. We’ve developed a little system whereby we’ve got used to each other. It’s like a prison in the house, I don’t mess with him and he doesn’t mess with me. He stays on his side of the house and I just throw him some toast every now and again. Now, the two-year-old, he’s a psychopath and he knows just how-to f*ck with me. I just don’t know what to do with him.