There was silence around the room as we took in the sight before our eyes. Then, at that very moment, Razzi walked into the room and shouted; “Strewth, there’s a chick with a dick!”
I put my head in my hands at this point because I just knew all the bears, who didn’t understand just what they were seeing, were going to be asking me thousands of awkward questions. Why does that lady have a penis? Is it a lady or a man with boobs? Is that normal? You name it, I was expecting a question about it. This was made worse by Razzi telling everyone that I had a daughter who used to be one of the Vietnamese boat people.
I thought long and hard; how was I going to answer all these questions. Then I decided there was no point in evading the question. Surely the best thing to do would be to meet them head on and let the bears know exactly what they had seen.
“Transsexualism,” I started to explain; “describes the way someone identifies with one gender which is inconsistent with their assigned sex, for example, in which a person’s assigned sex at birth conflicts with their brain sex. A medical diagnosis can be made if a person experiences discomfort as a result of a desire to be a member of the opposite gender or if a person experiences impaired functioning or distress as a result of their gender identification.
In Thailand, they are often called Kathoey or Katoey, which is not an equivalent of the modern Western transsexual woman. Instead, a significant number of Thais perceive kathoeys as belonging to a third gender. The term “phu-ying praphet thi sorng”, which can be translated as “woman of the second kind”, is also used to refer to kathoey. The term can refer to males who exhibit varying degrees of femininity – many kathoeys dress as women and undergo “feminising” medical procedures such as breast implants, hormones, silicone injections, or Adam’s apple reductions. Others may wear makeup and use feminine pronouns, but dress as men, and are closer to the Western category of effeminate gay man than transgender.
I explained all this to the bears and they looked at me confused. Then they looked at Razzi who smiled and said; “basically, what he is saying is that a ladyboy is a dude with a dick but who looks like a dudette and they have sex up the bum.”
All the bears looked at each other and suddenly the penny dropped. Then Erik turned to me and said; “Turn over will you, the Liverpool match is on Sky Sports.”
And so say all of us!
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