Da Brings Great Uncle Bimbo Home

Posted by Davidd Birko on
Category: Memories57 Comments

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As we have thrown the old Jammy Toast out with the bath water and started over, I thought I would start right at the very beginning with my first ever day in this world. Although, if I am completely honest, I don’t really remember much about it but I am reliably informed that it did happen. I was born at 4:19am on the morning of 24th October 1960 at St Catherine’s Hospital. I was all alone with just Granny for company. Try and stick with me here because this could get very confusing regarding names. Granny is really my mother but because my daughter calls her ‘Granny’, the name has stuck and these days we all call her Granny. Anyway, back to the hospital, the reason I was all alone with Granny was because my Dad was in the Merchant Navy and he was away at sea.

However, during the hospital’s afternoon visiting my grandparents came up to see me and say hello. I was their first grandchild so I should imagine there was a fair degree of excitement. Following the visiting hour introductions, my grandfather went into town and bought me a teddy bear from Robb’s Department Store. That evening he brought the bear up to the hospital to give to me only to be stopped at the maternity ward door and told that evening visiting was for fathers only. My grandfather, not to be denied, announced that he was the father and marched straight passed the startled nurses.

At the time I was born, my mother was eighteen and my grandfather was fifty. This was the 1960s, I am surprised he was not arrested on the spot but nobody said anything. My grandfather gave me the teddy bear and spent an hour chatting to Granny (my mother, remember). That teddy bear was none-other than Great Uncle Bimbo who, if you read the original Jammy Toast, you may remember.

Many years later, I was told the story of my grandfather’s shenanigans getting into ‘father’s only’ visiting time and I confronted him about it. He denied it was a deliberate ploy and said that he thought that visiting was for ‘fathers of the mothers’ only. Yes, we believe you but thousands wouldn’t!

It might be worth mentioning at this time that my grandfather was called ‘Da’ (pronounced ‘dar’). This was because as a very young child I heard Granny calling him ‘Dad’ but I couldn’t pronounce that so it kinda came out as “Dar”. It stuck and he was called Da by family, friends and even work colleagues for the rest of his life.

I have often been asked where I get my love of teddy bears from and that is probably the man.

Luckily for me, and Bimbo, he lived a long life, being born just before the First World War. He lived through many things during his lifetime. Two World Wars, the Titanic sinking, the creation of the USSR and the bringing down of the Berlin Wall, the invention of Penicillin, Yuri Gagarin becoming the first man in space, Nelson Mandela’s jailing and his release, the first man to walk on the moon, the Falklands war and he saw the Chernobyl Nuclear disaster (on the news, I hasten to add, he wasn’t actually there).

He even voted for Margaret Thatcher but we will gloss over that!

Not only was he the one responsible for my love of teddy bears but he was probably the one who gave me my ‘childish’ outlook on life. He used to buy my comics when I was young but the whole family knew he bought them more for himself than he did for me. He would spend hours reading ‘The Lion’ and ‘The Tiger’. It often got to the point where I would have to ask if I could ‘borrow’ my own comics to read them. By which time they were usually wet because he had been reading them in the bath.

At Christmas time, he would be the one looking stupid, still wearing his Christmas-cracker hat long after everyone else had put theirs in the bin. He also carried on driving for years after he was safe on the roads. Some of his expeditions through Raby Mere were the stuff of legend. He never passed a driving test in his life; he was granted a licence around the time of the Second World War and, because all the examiners were away at war, they just gave people a licence without the need for them to take a test. If they didn’t have an accident within two years then they got to keep the licence.

He was also the man most responsible for turning me into a ‘naughty’ boy. I used to spend weekends at my grandparent’s house and on Saturday’s my grandmother would be at work and we were left at home on our own. This was the day we ate steak and kidney pudding and chips out of the newspaper, had music or the television on too loud and to hell with the neighbours. We could watch the sport and the wrestling without being told off. It was often bedlam on Saturday but we had to have the place looking like a new pin by the time my grandmother got back home.

However, the most eventful thing he ever did was to present me with Bimbo as my ‘birth’ day present. Bimbo came home with me and we grew up together and moved around Merseyside, but everywhere I moved to Bimbo came with me. We used to like the same things, like music and films, and we also had our favourite celebrities.

Years later, I adopted The Chimpton and the pair of us discovered a Renault Bear by the name of Eddie. We both became obsessed with saving these poor, unfortunate bears who were deserted and abandoned to the mercy of charity shops and car boot sales. Bimbo was with me throughout all these years and was given the honorary name of Great Uncle Bimbo by the Renault Bears.

I can tell you more about all that next time.

Bye for now!

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Posted By

Davidd Birko

A sad and lonely old man who used to have a life but it has now been taken over by his dedication to the cause of saving teddy bears, running Jammy Toast and searching eBay, car boot sales, charity shops, lofts and even under beds for unwanted bears. He has even now taken in Flat Eric to save him from homelessness – his life is no longer his own!


57 Comments on “Da Brings Great Uncle Bimbo Home”

  1. Good morning. It’s a fine and warm Sunday ahead for most. Lots of blue fuckin’ sky and sunshine. A bit of a breeze in the south, and some fuckin’ low cloud lingering for northeast England and northern and eastern Scotland. Have a fuckin’ great day.

  2. My human spotted Dorothy wandering around this plot so she made one of her Nothing Happening films. I don’t mind at all, but you all know how much I love to watch my little Dumpling even in boring little films. I hope you understand.

  3. Rolf report 20 Sept

    There are new students on campus! My human dropped me off by the campus coffee shop. I met a new friend. She put her hand out so I could sniff her & she gave me a nice chin scratch. By the time my human started filming, I was eager to start patrolling.

    Rolf x

  4. Health Secretary’s message: “If there is another national lock down, the public will only have themselves to blame.” The govt are insidious creatures, took no ownership of the handling of Covid, deflecting blame. This behaviour is what you should expect from them. Vile people.

  5. This helping in the garden malarkey is exhausting, think I might have a little lie down and roll about. I’m sure they won’t notice, I’m perfectly camouflaged right?

  6. My daughter woke up n said Donald trump is a silly man why did he tell people to drink bleach, I was impressed with her knowledge for a 6 year old n then she asked me to open a fruit tella for her n now I’m confident she’s mine.

  7. You better watch out
    You better not cough
    You better not pout
    Or Christmas is off
    Santa Claus isn’t coming to town

    He’s booking a test,
    He’s been denied twice,
    Can’t find out if he’s contagious or nice
    Santa Claus isn’t coming to town

  8. I’ve left my kid at her Dads she hasn’t seen him since last Sunday I didn’t even make it home and the phones ringing with him giving out fuck coz she wants to go out with her mates. I really don’t know what he wants me to do about it she hates me equally!!

  9. I see that the actor Alan Cumming has hit out at the “insidious and subliminal racism” faced by Scots who work in London. Load of bollocks. Why would we hate any nation that has won one less world cup than we have, eh?

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