Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #19

Posted by Lisa Whiteman
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Category: Lisa's Dirty Washing50 Comments

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i my name is… my name is… excuse me, my name is Slim Shady Lisa. You might remember me from the original Jammy Toast and recall my posts. If you don’t then you can catch up on them over here. I have been a friend of Davey’s since about 2003. I used to have a blog on Blogger well before he started to blog and before he discovered his pesky teddy bears. He used to leave comments on my blog and before you knew it, we were chatting away on MSN – who remembers good old MSN? I invited him to write a few guest posts on my blog and we became great friends. I even travelled over to the UK in 2007 from Canada for a visit and we had a whale of a time together. Fast forward sixteen years and I now comment on his blog and he has invited me to write some guest posts for him. As the old saying goes; what goes around, comes around

After my total lack of luck with Brad The Lumberjack I started to re-evaluate my whole approach to dating in particular and flirting in passing. I was beginning to think that perhaps my skills were getting rusty. I decided that I needed to learn the science of flirting and practice it. Either that or learn to hypnotize my victims and perfect that.

I read this article and will now step by step learn and practice these techniques.

My favourite is the ‘eyebrow-flash’, which involves raising the eyebrows very briefly – for about one-sixth of a second – it is used almost universally as a long-distance greeting signal; so this article announced. I can see it now, me all hot to trot in a bar wagging my eyebrows at ever available man in the place and my friends saying, “What the hell it the matter with you? Do you have a tick or something?”

Here’s the scenario:

Hot guy who is at roughly the same level of attractiveness as myself at 3 o’clock. Ok here we go, smile at him, a real smile with eye wrinkles and hold that eye contact for more than a second. This is going well, he held the eye contact with me for more than a second before he looked away. Then he looked straight back at me, he must be interested!

Oh no, he has his feet pointing away from me. The doubt starts to set in, he must not be interested.

Hang on though, was that an eyebrow flash? Woo hoo he really must like me!

Crap I think he knows that guy over there maybe the eyebrow flash was for him.

Fuck this.

Me to hot guy, “Hey wanna make out?”

So, I need to brush up on my science of flirting and I would love any help I can get.

My big question for all of you out there is what are your best flirting tips and tricks?

I am going out Saturday night and if you put your tip in the comments, I promise to try it on some unsuspecting man and let you know how it went.

Ok, so it is over to you.

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Posted By

Lisa Whiteman

Hi, I am Lisa and I have been a friend of Davey's since about 2003. I used to have my own blog on Blogger back in the days before Davey discovered these pesky bears. He used to comment on my blog and before you knew it, he was writing guest posts for me. Everything has now turned full circle as I now leave comments on Davey's blog and he has invited me to write guest posts for him. What goes around, comes around.

50 Comments on “Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #19”

  1. So I accidentally died my hair green tonight and wore a shell suit in tesco whilst trying not to see anyone I knew. At least my taxi driver thinks I’m hilarious.

    If u needed a laugh tonight I hope this story helps!

  2. Rolf report 29 Oct

    Is there no peace for a fella in his own home? I’m being followed everywhere by a small brown & white shadow. Lizzie is annoying sometimes but tolerable. I’m taking Dr Sherry on daily long leash walks so I get quality outdoor time that’s my own space.

    Rolf x

  3. Good morning and welcome to Tyrannosaurus rex Thursday – Remember Hands, Face, Space, let’s keep each other safe. Please help protect the Hooman race as we need you hoomans to open our silver pouches of happiness. :paws:

  4. “Why, here is Eeyore,” said Pooh, when he had finished hugging Christopher Robin, and he nudged Piglet, and Piglet nudged him. “Hallo, Eeyore.”
    “Same to you, Pooh Bear, and twice on Thursdays,” said Eeyore gloomily.

  5. My human was sitting at the table when Barbara jumped up and sat in front of her. I had already gone out for a walk and I think he wondered where I was. He doesn’t like being on his own, and he cries quite a lot when he can’t find me. I love Barbie but he’s a bit of a cry-baby.

  6. Just heard some terrible news, my mate took his own life last night. People’s mental health is being affected by everything that’s happening right now. This virus isn’t killing as many people as other factors are. I am sick of it, this shit has to stop.


  7. When the cat sits on our keyboard: purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  8. Just watched a video of a mum elephant who couldn’t wake up her baby so she calls for humans to help. Everybody is worried but turns out he’s just a lazy little fuck.

    Hahaha happy ending.

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