So I haven’t had a chance to tell you about some of the sad losers who I ended up dating from all this online activity. One I can remember who I really liked I christened SD – short for Serial Dater. From what he said he had been at it for eons. I was never sure if someone being an old-hand should put me off them or inspire me with a never say die kinda attitude. SD took his online dating seriously because he was always online and always logged in. He asked me out and I accepted his invitation. Anyway, we ended up having four dates in all and just as I was starting to warm to him he dumped my sorry ass. The bastard broke my heart, I thought online dating was going to be a walk in the park and I had just got dumped by the first person I liked back.
There were many more. Okay Guy was another I remember, who we shall call OG. I decided he was an okay guy after two dates with him but he just didn’t make me want to drop my drawers for him. Then there was the guy who was never going to fall for any girl from online dating because he just damn well loved his dog too much. I had a Golden Labrador at the time who I loved so at least we had that in common but that was about all. He was boring and very slow ordering the drinks so he only lasted one date.
Office Manager (OM) was persistent if nothing else. We had been messaging for about two-three weeks and I had tried every way I knew to tell him that I didn’t really like him – he just wouldn’t take no for an answer, he still wanted to meet. He persuaded me to give him my number and that was the biggest mistake of my then short life. He rang me half-a-dozen times every day and one day caught me when I was off work sick. He bored me for an hour and ended the conversation by telling me that I really should give him a chance because I would probably like him if I would agree to meet him. After all, he asked, would I ever talk on the phone to someone I didn’t really like? Apparently so!
Not Quite Available (NQA) was a guy I never really got. I just didn’t understand his motives. He was either very uncertain of himself or he had a girlfriend and was trying to keep his online persona secret, I could never tell which. We emailed for a while and even moved on to MSN but I just had the feeling there was something about him that was just wrong. So, in the best tradition of MSN… BLOCKED!
I never seemed to really know what age group I was aiming for. I started messaging with a student (no nickname, just Student) who never seemed to go to college but was about my age and an ex-cop (XC) who was in his 40s. XC was from out of town but came into town most weekends and seemed keen to have a date. One day he asked me out at the weekend and I had to decline because I was busy with real friends that weekend. He never spoke to me again!
I did quite like Student but he never took any hints I threw out to him. He rang me one night and we had been chatting a while when I suddenly realised that Paradise Island was on the TV and I was hooked on that show back then. I had to hang up on him in the end. Looking back, I suppose that just about sums up how important online dating was for me.
I just remembered the name of the site I used to use… Lavaline. Man, it had some queer traditions. The site was free to join – unusual for those days – but they charged you every time you sent a first message to someone. Follow-up messages were free. This probably explained why when someone messaged you and you replied that you weren’t interested they just persisted anyway.
Another way to message someone was to send them a smile – smiles are online messages you could send for free (think cheap bastards). I don’t think I ever replied to a smile because in my opinion it proved that someone was unlikely to ply you with alcohol he had purchased.
Always remember the idea of this dating malarkey was to get free alcohol!
More dating advice, next time.
Have fun out there.