Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #21

Posted by Lisa Whiteman on
Category: Lisa's Dirty Washing62 Comments

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Hi my name is… my name is… excuse me, my name is Slim Shady Lisa. You might remember me from the original Jammy Toast and recall my posts. If you don’t then you can catch up on them over here. I have been a friend of Davey’s since about 2003. I used to have a blog on Blogger well before he started to blog and before he discovered his pesky teddy bears. He used to leave comments on my blog and before you knew it, we were chatting away on MSN – who remembers good old MSN? I invited him to write a few guest posts on my blog and we became great friends. I even travelled over to the UK in 2007 from Canada for a visit and we had a whale of a time together. Fast forward sixteen years and I now comment on his blog and he has invited me to write some guest posts for him. As the old saying goes; what goes around, comes around

Seeing as it is that time of year, I thought I had best tell you of my least favourite moment with boys. He is an old friend from Canada and a few years ago he came down at Christmas just to spend some time with me. He had a few days to spare between doing nothing and ignoring me. Of course, when he arrived, he was as cute as ever and my heart melted.

We went out and had some beer and chatted a little. There was no deep and/or meaningful conversation, no roaring fire, no falling snow or proposals of marriage. There was of course a huge smile on my face and lots of gazing deeply into his eyes. He didn’t have to say or do anything sick and twisted, infatuation is like that I hear.

We came back to mine and made out which led to more which didn’t last very long. Who said true love was good in the sack? Then there was the moment I was waiting for when he proclaimed that he felt bad since he had a “sorta” girlfriend now. I was told before this that he was seeing/dating someone but it was not made clear that it was anything serious.

Of course, he told me this after sex when he was feeling guilty. I told him not to feel bad, being the stupid chick that I am, I told him it was unfinished business between us like a cheque that was written and needed to be cashed. Then in my most girl-like of ways I shed a couple of tears and professed undying love. How I felt bad about our situation how the timing is never right and how he lives too far away. Then I went out and got stinking drunk and ranted to the fates about true love sucking and how it’s just not fair.

It is all over and done with now and I just feel pissed off. I feel like my crush, my so-called love for him was used and abused in the most heinous of ways. He took what I was offering in the most heartfelt of ways and soiled it. It wasn’t just a shag for me I have had lots of those and never felt bad, never felt used until that moment.

I have never just “liked” anyone and I never ever (not counting my drunken wedding day) talk about how much I feel for someone. But this time I did, I had felt this way for a year and a half and seeing him again was like coming home, like I had been away for a few breathless minutes, just enough time to remember how much I missed him so I told him. I told him that I had loved him from the minute that we first met right down to this minute when he was telling me that he shouldn’t have fucked me since he had a girlfriend. I told him that I loved him and always would and if he ever wanted me, I would be there in a minute and he countered with “Nah, you don’t love me”.

I probably didn’t, I agree. I was hyped up on Christmas love dreams tainted by the first-Christmas-alone-blues and a couple of beers on an empty stomach. I guess I should know better by now but anything to do with matters of the heart leaves me feeling like that little girl with her first crush. I should have known better but I didn’t and I still don’t want to.

I’m bitter and crusty enough without becoming jaded as well.

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Lisa Whiteman

Hi, I am Lisa and I have been a friend of Davey's since about 2003. I used to have my own blog on Blogger back in the days before Davey discovered these pesky bears. He used to comment on my blog and before you knew it, he was writing guest posts for me. Everything has now turned full circle as I now leave comments on Davey's blog and he has invited me to write guest posts for him. What goes around, comes around.

62 Comments on “Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #21”

  1. OMFG. An Irish fella I went out with ONCE 3 years ago but had to block bc he wouldn’t leave me alone, has found me on Instagram and left me a fucking voice note asking if we can be friends. The last contact with him was my mate from Dublin threatening him with the IRA!!!

      1. Omg you pair of mongs. You were way too busy to meet me!! Shacked up in some hotel somewhere if I remember rightly. Canadians have bigger balls than Americans shame the Jewish one wasn’t as nice as you, and no Catfish in sight!! :heart:

  2. Positives about working from home:
    – There’s no commute.
    – I can talk to the cat all day.

    Negatives about working from home:
    – I don’t leave the house
    – I’ve started talking to the cat.

  3. Why do my mates insist on texting me “OMFG!!!!!” And when I reply saying “Whaaaa??” They ignore me for 2-3 working days, yeah cheers nice one my anxiety is through the fuckin roof!!

  4. “Who was Wenceslas-or ‘Wenceslaus’ as it is often written. Probably he is some relation to Santa Claus. They were brothers: Santa and Wense Claus. Santa brought the presents round on Christmas Day, and Wense looked out on Boxing Day to see no mistakes had been made.”

  5. When I came back from my morning walk with my human yesterday I found Barbara in the veranda, munching on a little mouse. He had already eaten half of it but he’s a kind boy and he offered me the other half. It would have been rude to refuse, wouldn’t it?

  6. Rolf report 10 Dec

    Yesterday was the last day of the covid “student travel window”, for students to go home for Christmas. So lots of my student friends left campus. I seemed to know & spent my time patrolling the perimeters of the student residences. I will miss you all.

    Rolf x

  7. Good morning to everyone apart from those who grill their sausages so they are brown all over but then, eat Henziz beans & sossijes which have less colour than a whizz dick. Dirty fucking heathens!

  8. Mr Alan found Cinderella poster from 1969 for me. I was but a young thing when I first performed with Mr Roy Castle and wonderfully my Mr Ivan gets a credit… a very rare thing indeed!

  9. I’d like to make an official complaint to the management. Someone’s had the audacity to leave a pile of books on my favourite chair in year 3. I’m going to sit in the middle of the teacher’s desk and scowl in protest!

  10. Can no one talk to me for the day.. I’m too easily distracted I’ve a 2000 word essay due at four and I’ve managed to write a total of 0 words so far so it’s going swimmingly and I’m drowning ok bye x

  11. I’m not sure if I love it more that my smallest niece assumes an elf character for the whole of December or that my sister just…lets her be an elf? It’s one of the highlights of the year tbh

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