Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #7

Posted by Lisa 'W' on
Category: Lisa's Dirty Washing59 Comments

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Hi my name is… my name is… excuse me, my name is Slim Shady Lisa. You might have noticed me commenting on here from time to time using the name of “Just Me”. I have been a friend of Davey’s since about 2003. I used to have a blog on Blogger well before he started to blog and before he discovered these pesky bears. He used to leave comments on my blog and before you knew it we were chatting away on MSN – who remembers good old MSN? I invited him to write a few guest posts on my blog and we became great friends. I even travelled over to the UK in 2007 from Canada for a visit and we had a whale of a time together. Fast forward sixteen years and I now comment on his blog and he has invited me to write some guest posts for him. As the old saying goes; what goes around, comes around

You might be forgiven for thinking, at this stage, that I was sitting around on my laurels all day waiting for guys to ask for dates. Nothing could be further from the truth, don’t forget I was doing this for some serious research, hmmm. I still hadn’t healed my inner child or even told my mom that I’d got fired from my job but love research; that I can do.

To help in this research I was reading some heavy books: “How To Get Him Back From The Other Woman”, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyways”, “Women Men Love”, “Women Men Leave” and “The Anger Dance”. None of them were telling me anything and yes, I was getting a little confused. Who was it that said a little information is a bad thing? Well that shouldn’t bother me as I had tons of information processing in my subconscious at that very moment. Even today – having weighed up everything I learned – I still haven’t quite got it all in order but as soon as more info becomes available, I will let you know.

So with all this research and reading you might be forgiven for thinking that I had been doing a lot more chatting than dating at that point. Truth be told though, I had been working on trying to get a job as well as the power thing that sabotaged the date with Shy Guy.

When I did get round to chatting with him (Shy Guy) he seemed to be getting worse instead of better. He was chatting about his ex-wife and their breakup as well how he is lonely and lost all his friends in their divorce. “The Women Men Leave” book said I was afraid of intimacy as I didn’t really want to know all this crap, then anyways, but I think that I prefer men who are less on the feeling side and more on the doing side. All this sharing of feelings cut into my drinking time. We hadn’t made any arrangements for another date as I was letting him be the man and bring it up but meeting sooner rather than later is much better in my book.

I also remember I chatted with this rich guy in Toronto who thinks all women are gold diggers but he is the one who put how much his annual income is in his profile. Kind of says it all really. Does it even make sense? Shouldn’t he lie or just not put anything at all? I am beginning to think that understanding men is going to take a lot more self-help books than I could read in a life-time! On the positive side, he wanted to go out sometime, so at least that would give me an actual date to talk about here.

I also chatted with Pete who is a cutie from Windsor. We just joked back and forth mainly and talked about our dogs. He is cute, tall and witty so we will see how that goes.

I also chatted with someone called Work Hard Play Hard and boy do I hate that cliché. He seems nice and was pouring on the flattery. He might be OK if he could lay of the clichés.

Other people I spoke with around this time might give you an insight into the kind of guys I was dealing with here.

Randy Wetmore
Blue Eyes To Go
Sundancer (his profile picture was of his boat, weird eh?)
Kisses 2 Melt U

To make matters worse, all their messages start with lines from bad porn. Things like, “I would love to hear you scream my name,” etc. It is kind of funny in a revolting way. I don’t think that I will leave my fake porno profile up for long as I would rather continue with the serious research. There was no way I was going to meet a 50 year old man for sex to aid my research. UGH!

I am not actually sure who actually reads what I write but here is a note for men – if any men actually read this; to get into a women’s pants, even an internet whore like I am pretending to be, you have to be original or at least sexy.

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About the Author

Lisa 'W'

Hi, I am Lisa and I have been a friend of Davey's since about 2003. I used to have my own blog on Blogger back in the days before Davey discovered these pesky bears. He used to comment on my blog and before you knew it, he was writing guest posts for me. Everything has now turned full circle as I now leave comments on Davey's blog and he has invited me to write guest posts for him. What goes around, comes around.

59 Comments on “Doing My Dirty Washing In Public #7”

  1. I understand what Kelsey is saying because for a woman turning up to meet someone off the internet could be quite dangerous but look at it from the man’s point of view. You could turn up for a date and be meeting Andreaa!!

  2. As the final Thomas Cook holidaymakers arrive back in Manchester, Ole Gunnar Solskjær asks if any of them are available to play against Liverpool next week?

  3. Just come home to find my wife dancing naked on a pole in the living room… the poor fucker had only come round to give us a quote for some building work!!!

  4. Phoned the bank . Can you send me three bank statements from 2018 ? I can’t download them pre July 18 . Yes I’ve popped them in the post , allow 10 working days . Whose bringing them pony sodding Express ?

  5. We’re meant to be getting our holiday money back this week, but instead of booking another one, we’re buying a new bed and a new tv apparently. Sound, I’ll just sunbathe in the living room then ye tit!!

  6. Donald J. Trump
    As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!)…

    Mental Health Awareness Week!

  7. Yesterday Barbara and I went for a walk with my human and suddenly little Janet appeared. She wasn’t exactly thrilled to see us, but she didn’t hiss at us either. I think she really came to see my human, not me and Barbara. She is a very pretty girl.

  8. “I was shy, solitary, awkward in company. Alone by the river, alone through the fields, alone on the top of the Forest. Sitting alone on the grass in the sunshine. Walking alone through the woods at night. Alone with myself. Alone – yet never lonely.”


  9. Rolf report Oct 8

    My dear friend Allotment Cat sent me some nipknots made from the highly potent catnip that his human grows. Wow, Robert, this is top quality nip. Usually when it’s a choice between food & nip, the food wins but this time I’m not so sure. It’s a good idea to eat your food first, Rolf. You must keep your strength up otherwise you wouldn’t be able to get the full benefit of the nip. I’m getting worried about my human though, she likes the smell of the nip a bit too much. She’s weird.

    Rolf x

  10. There’s a lad on my Facebook and he’s just gone “Facebook official” with his bird and they keep tagging eachother in the cutest memes and uploading the cutest pics and it’s all so cute. Would be even cuter if he wasn’t asking me out less than two weeks ago but nevertheless…

  11. Some bastard has screwed plywood to these bathroom walls and tiles over them . It’s a diy warcrime . Coupled with scummy Wallasey types fly tipping my skip . I’m having a shite day!

  12. Someone left a note on my car that said, “You park like a 2-year-old trying to color between the lines.” I’m both offended and impressed by his very accurate description of my parking.

  13. Allentown tonight and really looking forward to it. Everybody who has come to the shows so far have been so welcoming and great. 12 shows still to come….Nice Steinway tonight too.

    1. I’m trying really hard with the diet and have definitely lost some weight but I will admit to being sick to death of pumpkin and and sunflower seeds plus salad after salad. I’m beginning to twitch like a rabbit.

  14. I just crossed the road to get my little dog away from a massive husky approaching us &her owner got all stroppy with me and said “she only wants to play, she’s only a baby” and when I looked she was indeed only a baby and looked so sad. I can’t stop thinking about it :sad:

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