Hello again everyone. Seeing as we have restarted Jammy Toast, I thought I would pop along and say hello, even though I am pretty sure most of you will know me already. Just in case you are new to these parts, I thought I better introduce myself because I am a very polite bear. My name is Erasmus Bear, or ‘Razzi’ for short, and I was rescued from Holland where I was no longer wanted by my former little friend. So many years ago, Davidd brought me over to join his menagerie. Everyone seemed to grow to love me straight away because I am not a good bear like most of the others – I can be quite naughty. I am what Davidd calls a ‘playbear’ – that’s like a playboy but in bear form just in case you couldn’t work that out. As you can see from the picture above, I am very fond of some ‘girlie’ celebrities which seems to make me even more of a naughty bear in some people’s eyes – needless to say, David Beckham was in America when that photo was taken.
I used to have a serious girlfriend called Linzi and we used to go to the Tranmere Rovers’ games together and have dates in McDonalds. She didn’t think it was fair that Davidd had loads of teddy bears and I didn’t have any so one day we went to the arcades in New Brighton and she won me my own little purple bear who I named ‘Pookie’. Linzi was very forgiving and even allowed me to look at my bear porn on the internet. Unfortunately, in the end she decided she needed a human boyfriend and I don’t see her anymore. It always happens to bears; we are loved at first but then people outgrow us.
I thought I would write this today because Mein Führer Andreaa comes back from her holiday tomorrow and she doesn’t like us pesky bears. She will probably go nuts because Davidd has let me, Flat Eric, Erik, and Great Uncle Bimbo write on the blog. I am sure she thinks it should be humans only. I can tell you a little secret that her mummy told me, she has a teddy bear that she has had since she was little and all he does is sit on top of her wardrobe! I don’t think she likes teddy bears.
It is difficult to imagine that thirteen years ago, when my original owner decided she didn’t want me anymore, I thought I was going to end up on a rubbish tip or even in an incinerator. Luckily Davidd rescued me via eBay for 99p and I came to England where I have been very happy since. Many things have happened since then and I have had a fantastic time. I also hope to have many more adventures in the future which I can tell you about on Jammy Toast – when Mein Führer is looking the other way, obviously.
One thing I am not too happy about; I overheard Mein Führer telling Davidd that she wants to start telling ghost stories on Jammy Toast. Some of you might remember that I am a bit of a scaredy bear when it comes to ghosts and monsters. Davidd watches frightening films sometimes and I have to hide behind the couch or under the bed while he does.
Anyway, hopefully Davidd will stand up to Mein Führer and give me the chance to tell you all about my future adventures sometime. Until then, be careful with this Miley Cyrus… you don’t want to end up in the next bed to Donald Trump!
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