Gary Rocks The Boat

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Relationships67 Comments

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The Other Week I Wrote Yas A Story On The Old Jammy Toast && Then Davidd Decided To Start The Blog All Over Again Before Yas Had A Chance To Read It.. I Thought It Was Dead Funny && It Is Not Normally Like Me To Be Funny, Lyk.. So Am Off On Me Holidays Today && I Wont Get A Chance To Write For Yas For A Couple Of Weeks, So Am Postin This As Me Last Post Before I Go.. Me Last Goodbye Before Me Holidays.. Actually, By The Time Yas Read This I Should Be Lyin By The Pool In Marmaris In Me New Bikini.. So, Dont Work Too Hard While Am Gone && Keep Ya Fingers Crossed I Dont Get The Rona.. Hopefully, Boris Will Let Me Back In England In Two Weeks!!

All Of The Boyfriends Ive Had Hve Been Jealous Little Bastids.. Liam Was The Worst Of Them.. He Made Me Delete All The Lads That I Knew Frm Me Facebook && Me Phone.. I Hve Told Yas Before That I Even Stopped Talkin To Davidd For Years Cos I Didnt Want To Piss Liam Off.. He Used To Get Jealous Of Any Lad I Even Spoke To && Got The Sack Frm Workin With Me At Spoons In Town Cos He Punched A Lad For Talkin To Me.. There Were Other Boyfriends Who Were Lyk That Too Bt Liam Was The Worse.. I Think Am A Bit More Grown Up These Days && I Dont Think I Would Put Up With It Even If I Was Goin Out With The Fittest Lad Around.. Accept Me, Accept Me Mates Or Get Out Of Me Life..

Davidd Is Nearly Old Enough To Be Me Granddad, Nevermind Me Dad, && Some People Do Ask Me How Come I Hve Got A Mate Who Is That Old.. My Answer Is: “How Come You Hvent??” Jealousy Is The Reason I Ring Davidd On The Way Home Frm Work.. When I First Started Goin Out With Liam && He Made Me Delete All Me Male Mates I Used To Ring Davidd On The Way Home So That I Couldnt Get Caught Talkin To Him.. Then Liam Started Checkin Me Phone && Thats When I Stopped Ringin Davidd All Together.. I Still Feel Lyk A Shit For Doin That Cos No One Has Done More To Help Me With Shit Than He Has, Bt Hes Sound About It && Never Complained.. Bt Am Tellin Everyone Who Is Readin This Now, I Will Never Do That Again.. No Lad Will Ever Come Between Me && Me Mates Ever Again!!

Gary Is Cool About Me Mates.. He Never Complains About Anyone Who I Talk To && I Always Introduce Him To People I Know, The Way It Is Supposed To Be.. The Only Thing Is That Cos Of The Way I Hve Been Treated By Other Lads It Does Make Me Feel Guilty Sometimes.. I Hve Asked Gary In The Past If It Is Alright Me Bein Mates With Such && Such.. He Just Looks At Me Weird && Says, “Why Wouldnt It Be??” I Love That, Even If I Am Not Quite Used To It Yet..

Me Dad Was The Same When He Split With Me Mum.. They Split Cos He Was With Another Woman, && Even Had A Kid With Her, Bt Me Mum Wasnt Allowed To Hve Another Man, Especially If He Was Goin To Be Around His Kids.. Fuck Off Dad, You Made Ya Bed, Now You Can F*ckin Lie In It.. I Just Dont Get Why Lads/Men Hve To Be Lyk That.. If You Break Up With Someone Then You Dont Get To Hve A Say Anymore In Anythin Ya Ex-Partner Does, Says Or Hangs Around With.. && That Is True No Matter Who Split With Who.. Ya Cant Finish With Someone Then Complain About Who They Are Seeing, Thats Not In The Rules Of The Game..

So I Recently Started To Get Worried When Gary Started Actin Weird Whenever I Mentioned Davidd.. He Has Always Been Sound About Him && They Hve Joked Together About Me Bein A Headwrecker.. Bt Lately I Hve Noticed He Has Changed In His Attitude Towards Davidd.. There Was Nothin I Could Put My Finger On, It Was Just A Feelin I Was Getting.. I Thought The Best Way To Sort This Out Is To Ask Him Outright.. So The Other Day I Said To Gary, “Hve You Got A Problem With Me Bein Friends With Davidd Or Something?? You Seem To Be Actin All Weird Over Him!!”

I Was Dreadin His Reply && My Stomach Churned When He Said, “Well Actually, Yea I Hve!!”

I Was Ready For A Kick Off When I Asked Him What The Problem Was.. He Said That He Didnt Only Hve A Problem With Davidd Bt He Had A Problem With Me Too.. I Was Dreadin This && Runnin Through My Mind Was, “Why Does This Always Happen To Me??”

I Asked Him What The Problem Was && Looked Him Dead In The Eye As He Replied, “Its Not Fair That You && Davidd Hve Got Double-Letters At The End Of Ur Names && Ive Only Got One ‘Y’!!”

Hahahahaha Fuck Off Gary, Or Should I Say Garyy… Am Not Makin You A Curry For A Week For That Pathetic Attempt At Humour!!

Traa xx

PS. Keep Safe While Am Gone!!

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..


67 Comments on “Gary Rocks The Boat”

  1. Now is the time to look at a vote of no confidence in that fucking shambles of a government in the UK that moron of a PM can’t string a sentence together.. Jesus Christ almighty..

  2. Me ma’s just come to mine with the dog, opened the door for her and she goes “do you know him?” Some fella walking his dog on the other side of the road, no I don’t mum why? “He’s just started shouting to me that me hairs lovely. Lovely colour he said. Then he goes are you a red or a blue. Told him I was a blue and he said ahhh that’s a shame but your hair is nice. Then just carried on walking.”

    Head the balls mate hahahaha

  3. Rolf report 23 Sept

    I get such positive feedback about the commentaries that my American human makes on my little films. Some say he sounds like Bob Ross (“The Joy of Painting”). Others call him “Cattenborough” as he has a David Attenborough tone. I just get on with life.

    Rolf x

  4. Scotland and Northern Ireland will be fuckin’ chilly but mostly dry and sunny – bar the odd fuckin’ shower. England and Wales will be cloudy with outbreaks of fuckin’ rain which will become confined to eastern England later in the day. Turning fuckin’ windy in E England too. Temps, 13 to 19C.

  5. Alone in the Forest.
    He sits and thinks of the things they know,
    He and the Forest alone together:
    The springs that come and the summers that go,
    Autumn dew on bracken and heather,
    The drip of the Forest beneath the snow.

  6. People really are getting £1.50 chocolate Amazon Primed to their door like they have absolute zero care and concern for carbon footprint and global warming. Never mind the stress and horrific conditions the Amazon warehouse workers have to operate in.

  7. Why I don’t make mates with randomers off the Internet, invite them round for a Bevie asks to use your bog next thing they’re rifling through ye maa’s knickers drawer.

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