Hello From Andreaa

Posted by Andreaa Kurby on
Category: Jammy Toast49 Comments

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Hiya, I Know Most Of Yas Know Me From On The Old Jammy Toast But Some Of Yas Might Be New, So I Thought I Better Introduce Meself To Yas.. My Name Is Andreaa, Davidd Has Said I Can Come && Write Stories On Here For Yas All.. I Have No Idea What Am Doing Bloggin, It Is All My Mate Davidds Fault.. He Says That I Always Make Him Laugh When I Just Chat Shit, So I Should Start A Blog.. So I Wrote On Jammy Toast For A Bit && I Found That I Liked It.. So, Davidd Helped Me Start Me Own Blog Off.. Davidd Loved It So Now He Has Invited Me To Come Back On The New Jammy Toast && Help Him Write Stuff && Look After The Bears.. To Be Honest, I Think He Just Wants Me To Clean Up All The Bear Shit With A Poop-A-Scooper!! When I First Knew Davidd, I Didnt Even Know What A Blog Was.. Davidd Had To Tell Me It Is Lyk A Website Where Ya Write Stuff That Is In Ya Head && People Read It && Leave Comments Agreein With Ya Or Arguin About What Ya Wrote.. I Am Dead Good At Arguin So I Dont Mind Tha Lyk.. So If Ya Ever Want To, Feel Free To Write A Comment About Me Stories..

BTW, I Cant Spell Either Or Punctuate Stuff, So Me Stories Will Be All Over The Gaff..

Am Just An Ordinary Person Who Lives In Kirkby.. If Ya Dont Know, Kirkby Is In Liverpool.. I Work In A Shop Bt I Better Not Tell Yas Which One Cos If They Find This They Will Take The Piss.. If Me Boss Reads Some Of The Stuff Im Going To Say About Her Or The Company, Id Props Get The Sack Too.. I Love Watchin The Simpsons, So Lets Call The Shop Where I Work Kwik-E-Mart.. Me Mate Davidd Never Says Kirkby Right, He Always Misses The Second ‘K’ Out So It Comes Out Soundin Like Kurby — Thats Why I Have Called Meself Andreaa Kurby, Its Not Me Real Name, Lyk. At Least Work Wont Find Me..

I Dont Use Me Own Photos Either.. I Pretend Am An Old Victorian Girl From about 1890 Or Somethin.. Any Pictures Ya See With Me Stories Aint Me.. The Picture At The Top Of This Story Is Just An Old Victorian Girl That Davidd Got Off Google Images.. Those Of Ya That Have Seen What I Write On Jammy Toast Will Know That I Talk About Work && Family Stuff, && I Tell The Truth, So I Dont Want Anyone I Write About To Find It.. I Hope Yas Dont Mind, Lyk..

If Ya Still Readin This Am Amazed && Ya Can Be Me Mate..

I Never Even Passed Me GCSEs Yerno.. Am Mostly Borin So That Is Why This Is Goin To Be Shit.. Davidd Just Said Write Whatever Comes Into Ya Head Cos That Is When Am Funny, But Most People Just Think Am Funny In The Head..

I Live With Me Mum && I Have 3 Sisters Who All Have Familes Of Their Own && Tha.. I Am The Baby Of The Family Which Is Why I Am Still At Home With Me Mum; Just The 2 Of Us.. She Isnt Well && Spends Half Her Life At The Hospital Havin Tests Done.. I Take Her, If I Can, But Usually Am In Work So It Can Be Difficult.. I Havent Long Finished With Me Ex Who Was A Knobhead && Used To Live With Us.. I Do Have My Eye On Someone, But Its Early Days Yet So We Will Have To Wait && See On Tha One.. If Am Honest Though, He Is Great Just For Puttin Up With Me!!

I Have A Big Family; Aunties && Uncles && Me Sisters Have Got Kids Runnin All Over The Gaff.. Me Granddad Says They Only Built Kirkby So There Was Enough Room To Fit Our Family In Liverpool.. Birthdays Cost Me A Bloody Fortune With All The Nieces && Nephews, But I Do Love Em All.. I Love Holidays Too && Usually Go To Turkey A Couple Of Times A Year — If We Havent Got The Rona Pandemic Thingy I Do Anyways.. Most Of The Family Usually Come On One Of Those Holidays && The Other Time I Go With Me BFF Zoe.. I Am Also The Only Twenty-Somethin Who Doesnt Have Social Media, I Really Cant See The Point Of Livin On Facebook.. I Think Its Weird How People Complain To Ya Face Tha Their Life Is Shit But If Ya Ever See Their Facebook, You Would Think They Have The Best Life Ever.. It Should Be Called Liarbook, Not Facebook..

Anyway, That Is All I Can Think Off At The Moment.. So If Ya Think Of Anythin Ya Wanna Know, Ya Only Have To Ask.. I Might Say No But Ya Never Know..

Traa xx

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Posted By

Andreaa Kurby

I Am Andreaa && I Am Havin A Boss Time Ere Writin On The Blog && Tha.. I Feel Proper Ashamed, The F*ckin State Of It.. Davidd Told Me If Ya Hav A Blog All Ya Have To Do Is Write Little Stories Abowt Ya Life Bt I Said No, I Cant Write Nothin.. I Neva Evn Passed Me GCSE English.. Bt He Bullies Me Yerno, So Me Stories Are Usually Shit..


49 Comments on “Hello From Andreaa”

  1. First day of the football season…

    The flakes of pie in the stands
    The waft of Marlboro from the toilets
    The scent of fine cheese in the boardroom
    The smell of lager from the kiosks
    Avoiding sprinklers
    The joy of watching from above

    We love it…. BRING IT ALL BACK :football:

  2. Always feel a bit unnerved when girls say stuff like “Choke me” in bed. I’m bound to be the one idiot who misjudges the pressure and ends up wheeling a corpse into the Mersey in an ASDA trolley!!

  3. Thanks for all the messages asking what the flock’s thoughts are on Last Night of The Proms. If you want opinions/guidance you have to pay for it, we’re not a charity.

  4. I was so thirsty and I couldn’t resist having a drink from the water Jeanette left for the birds. I’ve got lots of water in the veranda and greenhouse but this tasted so much better. I looked up and saw Susie watching me so I went for a fuss. I have the best life, don’t I?

  5. Rolf report 13 Sept

    The last few days I’ve got into a new routine. I patrol campus in the morning, walk home for lunch then sleep through the afternoon in my cat bed on my campus mom Claudia’s desk as she prepares for the new term. Claudia thinks that I smile in my sleep.

    Rolf x

  6. Sunday not even 11.00. Plasterer dropped off, dickhead labourer punished for no show, self isolating joiner, trip to Connahs Quay swimming baths cancelled. Might saddle up my moped and see if Knobhead fancies riding pillion?

  7. Barbers just fucked some lads hair up an he’s screaming “lad I look like a fuckin lesbian wha have ye done to me head” sitting in the corner trying me hardest not to laugh!!

  8. Ok so finding out, by being a deviant, that some regular porn stars I watch are fucking dead. Made it a slighter more difficult wank but certainly not impossible, their stuff was too good. #RIP

  9. One troll sent a DM requesting we put a mask on Pat as it would “rid Birko of the smell of her rancid breath.” She’s gargled listerine so no mask needed for now.

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